Advice needed

[cattitude]

Originally posted by Athena1078
However, last weekend, the bride got minorly upset that I wasn't going out with the bachelorette party. I really don't want to, but don't want to make her mad at me..

Therein lies a clue Athena. And that's all I have to say about that.

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by Athena1078
She has known about me and my status since they met.

My husband had friends like that too, before we dated. I knew about them and we got along fine, but once we got serious, they got scarce and I would've KILLED him if I found out they were at his bachelor party or any other guy oriented get together where I wasn't invited or otherwise wasn't expected to be.

 

[mainman]

Bottom line... You are selfish and should not go...(to either party) Just my opinion.

 

[BullDawg]

At a buddy of mine's first wedding's bachelor party, a girl showed up to hang out with the guys.


no problem...


Three years later, she became wife #2.

 

[Elle]

OK, first of all, I personally would never go to a guy’s bachelor party but if she (wife to be) is that jealous of him, why are they getting married to begin with???

 

[mainman]

Originally posted by tys_mommy
OK, first of all, I personally would never go to a guy’s bachelor party but if she (wife to be) is that jealous of him, why are they getting married to begin with???

Are we talking jealousy or protocol? It seems abnormal to have a skirt at your party unless shes a stripper....
It doesnt matter anyway because Athena has convinced herself that it's ok....

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by tys_mommy
OK, first of all, I personally would never go to a guy’s bachelor party but if she (wife to be) is that jealous of him, why are they getting married to begin with???

There is an imaginary line. It's not so much about the bride to be being jealous, but it is about that imaginary line and the borders being crossed. It's about showing the bride-to-be the respect that she deserves having been chosen by your friend as THE woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I have plenty of guy friends I love and adore, however, not for one of them would I ever attend their bachelor party - it's crossing the line. Your friendship with a guy changes when he gets in a committed relationship, it changes again once he asks some chick to marry him. You should respect those boundaries and imaginary lines and not go crossing them, because once you do, there is no going back. The bride-to-be will become his wife, maybe they'll have kids, hopefully she will become his best friend. There isn't as much room for his other friends. And if you are a female friend, then you already realize it. You should never even consider going to the bachelor party, if you are the female friend in that kind of situation. Your friendship has already been undergoing changes, and you should be showing both parties (male and female) the respect and consideration they deserve. Thereby, hopefully your friendship will endure and evolve and you will acquire a new female friend in the process.

 

[vraiblonde]

Hey, too bad for the bride. If she's mature enough to get married, she's mature enough to say, "Hell NO you're not having a woman at your bachelor party!" So, even if she really is uncomfortable about Athena attending, that's her problem.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by migtig
There is an imaginary line. It's not so much about the bride to be being jealous, but it is about that imaginary line and the borders being crossed.

Mig!

 

[Pete]

Originally posted by migtig
There is an imaginary line. It's not so much about the bride to be being jealous, but it is about that imaginary line and the borders being crossed. It's about showing the bride-to-be the respect that she deserves having been chosen by your friend as THE woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I have plenty of guy friends I love and adore, however, not for one of them would I ever attend their bachelor party - it's crossing the line. Your friendship with a guy changes when he gets in a committed relationship, it changes again once he asks some chick to marry him. You should respect those boundaries and imaginary lines and not go crossing them, because once you do, there is no going back. The bride-to-be will become his wife, maybe they'll have kids, hopefully she will become his best friend. There isn't as much room for his other friends. And if you are a female friend, then you already realize it. You should never even consider going to the bachelor party, if you are the female friend in that kind of situation. Your friendship has already been undergoing changes, and you should be showing both parties (male and female) the respect and consideration they deserve. Thereby, hopefully your friendship will endure and evolve and you will acquire a new female friend in the process.

I think the personal quality Mig is speaking about is called "CLASS"

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
Hey, too bad for the bride. If she's mature enough to get married, she's mature enough to say, "Hell NO you're not having a woman at your bachelor party!" So, even if she really is uncomfortable about Athena attending, that's her problem.

A bachelor party is for GUYS. Point blank. It's a male-bonding thing that women shouldn't be involved in. No matter how good of friends you are w/him Athena, it's not cool to go.

 

[crabcake]

Originally posted by PFgal
A bachelor party is for GUYS. Point blank. It's a male-bonding thing that women shouldn't be involved in unless they are stripping down to skivvies and taking $5 bills in their sling shot.

hey, pfgal ... speaking of sling shot

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by crabcake
hey, pfgal ... speaking of sling shot

Let's not....

 

[mainman]

Originally posted by cariblue
Athena, why did you ask for advice?

She thought we would tell her what she wanted to hear? :shrug:

 

[crabcake]

Originally posted by PFgal
Let's not....

must be one of them memory bubbles floating up

 

[huntr1]

Originally posted by cmcdanal
My husband had friends like that too, before we dated. I knew about them and we got along fine, but once we got serious, they got scarce and I would've KILLED him if I found out they were at his bachelor party or any other guy oriented get together where I wasn't invited or otherwise wasn't expected to be.

I woulda been PI$$ED if they had tried to come to the party. NO FEMALES ALLOWED UNLESS THEY ARE NEKKID!!!!!

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by huntr1
I woulda been PI$$ED if they had tried to come to the party. NO FEMALES ALLOWED UNLESS THEY ARE NEKKID!!!!!

I meant even if it hadn't been a stripper party.

 

[huntr1]

There might be a non-stripper female at the bachelor party I am planning for my buddy. She would be the captain of the charter boat. Like cmcdanal said, no females unless they are entertainment or employees of the establishment where the party is going on. PERIOD. In other words Athena, pay attention to what we have all told you and DON'T GO!

 

[vraiblonde]

I changed my mind. I think she should go, since all parties involved are in agreement. I just wonder, like Cari, why she asked for advice on this since she already knew what she was going to do.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by Sharon
I just figured Athena would go no matter what we said.

The prophet speaks!