catlingirl
Active Member
Thats so true. The blankets my mom made are the best presents we`'ve gotten.
Do you expect your grown kids to give you gifts
- Thread starter catlingirl
- Start date
Thats so true. The blankets my mom made are the best presents we`'ve gotten.
I don't expect anything. I exchanged gifts with my parents once I was earning my own money (oh and probably before because each might give me a few dollars to "get something" for the other).
I continue to give them a gift on Christmas and their birthday, even if they are not aware of it. My daughter likewise continues the tradition of exchanging gifts. Nothing expensive and we do not look for equal value.
We try to get something the other can use / wants (but won't get for themself).
I continue to give them a gift on Christmas and their birthday, even if they are not aware of it. My daughter likewise continues the tradition of exchanging gifts. Nothing expensive and we do not look for equal value.
We try to get something the other can use / wants (but won't get for themself).
Being the grown kids in our case....we do not expect anything at all. They buy whatever they need or want, we do the same. We have repeatedly suggested that a card is golden. They insist. We agreed to limit gift giving to stockings at Christmas. Little things gathered throughout the year that were nonsensical, cool, actually useful, or tasty. Nothing expensive. Most of it probably ends up in the trash. I think the best things over the years were telescoping back scratchers, trial size toiletries, odd flavored chips, little lego kits, homemade cookies....fun stuff like that. Just something to play with on Christmas morning. No matter how old you are, everyone is a bit of a child on Christmas. 
I think they should do nice things/or give/or make something for/to the people they love and care about.
Besides family - Thing1 has a lot of peoples in his life who get paid to assist and help him facilitate HIS best life, but WE do things for them, also. I think that is the RIGHT thing to do, and that is the example I have always set with him. Treat peeps nicely. They are actually very good to him (most of them) and sometimes almost like family. They sincerely appreciate the $10 Starbucks card or the homemade goodies I make and send in to them.
Thing2 procrastinates, and while I've always shown him the same examples as Thing1- it is on HIM now to do those niceties. He does a pretty good job, too. Most of the time.
One year, the ungrateful pups forgot me on Mother's Day, which in MY CASE is the same week as my birthday, which is Cinco de Mayo. Seriously?! "Forgetting" Mother's day/my birthday is not an option and I was ticked OFF! I let them know in no uncertain terms/attitudes/demeanors that the Queen in the house not happy!
Thing2 took the reigns (as Thing1 needs to have some help to get to the store, make purchases, etc) and bought me flowers, a card, and a HUGE chocolate bar and also wrote me a note. I carry that note with me every day in my wallet.
I won't lie, though. I kinda expect them to not forget me.
Mom, sister and I have deemed gift giving as the following: If I can't wear it, eat it or drink it, I don't want it.
None of us really need anything, so it remains small and simple.
I have adopted pretty much that same sentiment, as well! Although, I did need a new Yoga mat, and it was a brand recommended to me. Seemed a bit expensive, but it is life-time guaranteed. So I put it on my Amazon list, and Thing2 got it for me! It's actually a damn good mat, and I'm glad to have it now!
I agree with your parents. I think they SHOULD give you a gift to show they care about you. And you should expect them to do that - it teaches them a lot when you teach them how to show these feelings.
As Vrai said, though - a GIFT doesn't have to be purchased. It can be the gift of TIME, or service to or for you. Back in the day - we used to do coupon books, as in a coupon for "1 free dishwashing" or "Fold one basket of laundry" "Wash the car". Things like that!
A gift to someone shows you care about them, in my opinion. But it doesn't have to be a purchased gift.
catlingirl
Active Member
Thank you Bann I didn't think of it that way. It would be nice to get help around the house occasionally without having to ask. That would be a nice gift.
The kids do their own laundry so I guess that's a start. Lol
I missed this post.
I think you should let the grandparents chide the grands when they aren't up to snuff. It's hard to say, "Why didn't you ungrateful brats get me anything??" but when *Grandma or Grandpa* says it...
It was nice of them to step in like that, imo.
MiddleGround
Well-Known Member
Along the same subject... When did it become a thing to shower gifts onto Bus drivers and Teachers? Do any of you remember doing that when you were kids? Is that just a MD thing? I never remember giving gifts to either when I was going through school.
National Teachers' Day
Besides this fact - my older son was always in Special Education. He had more than one teacher or specialist who worked with him. At various times in his school career, I would either fix a lunch to bring in one day of the week, or I would go out and purchase fried chicken dinners, or pizzas, drinks, chips, etc. along with a dessert of some kind. $25.00 can buy a lot of food if you're a whiz at budgeting.
It's NICE to be appreciated for what you do. There's nothing wrong with showing that appreciation, either.
MiddleGround
Well-Known Member
I agree. In fact, I never disagreed. I was merely wondering when it became a thing and whether it was a MD thing. I have lived in a lot of different places and I have never seen it done like it is here.
A teacher friend of mine said they got like $1500+ in gift cards!! I was amazed.
My son attended school in 3 different states, and it was customary in all 3.
mitzi
Well-Known Member
Wow, it's that extravagant now? We gave small gifts to our teachers in elementary school. My kids gave something small to their teachers in elementary school too, usually something they could get at the Secret Santa Shop at school (do they even still do that?). I'm outdated here, my youngest finished school in 2004.
I don't recall if my parents did it when I was a kid (perhaps with a special teacher at my request) but it's a pretty common thing amongst my circle of friends. Granted, we all have elementary age kids and I do think that such will change in middle/high school. Not sure why but my wife gets each of our kids' teachers something for the holidays (Starbucks cards, etc.). Certainly not required and it's more for the kids to do something nice in appreciation (they do enjoy giving them). I also think that some parents and teachers talk more (and directly) than they use to. The direct line of communication via email is very prevalent now so interested parents can speak with teachers easily which often translates into more often. I think this helps establish a rapport and relationship which in turn makes the idea of a "gift" more normal.
Sorry, late coming to this thread. We expect an acknowledgement that we are alive. We are retired and pretty have more stuff than we want or need. The kids usually come up with some small personal things that give us great delight. We got wine bottle stoppers topped with small round stones from a stream in Glacier, a coffee cup with a drawing of Hattie on it, tree ornaments featuring our pets painted on disks cut from last year's Christmas tree, and the following picture painted on birch bark from a tree outside of daughter's log cabin high in the Montana mountains.
That is adorable!