Facebook & teenagers

Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
EmptyTimCup said:
or girls coerced into giving up photos


I get to have an uncomfortable conversation with an ex GF and my 17 yr old about the company she is keeping and the photos and videos he is demanding she send - this weekend
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If you and her mother disagree on the way to handle raising her, it can be a difficult situation all around. Being able to handle these types of life situations begins in the formative middle school years.

If your daughter doesn't have the inner confidence NOW to stand up for herself, it will be much harder later in life when she wants to set limits* with guys. (or in any life relationship)

*IF she wants to set limits, because that is the other side of the coin. She'll see nothing wrong with that type of behavior if she is already accepting of it.
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
GRN96WS6 said:
Kids these days grow up with computers and smart phones they know more about them and how to hide things then we ever will. How do you know if she or he doesn't have a separate account they use to go behind you back? I don't know I work with computers daily and honestly I'd be hard pressed to give or let my 14yo have a fb account.
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Of *course* they're going to test the limits of your rules, etc. That's what teenagers are *supposed to do. It's a developmental milestone, if you will. And totally normal.

Part of what's different from when we were teens (1970's for me) or when our parents were teens (1950's for my parents) is the technology. We're adding computers, iPods & cell phones to the mix.

Technology makes it possible for them to do things we could never imagine. But what doesn't change is giving your child the tools in order to make the right decisions and do the right thing, etc. If you raise your child from birth to behave a certain way in any facet of their life, and you provide them with swift, but appropriate, consequences when they don't - they will not stray too far from the values, morals, expectations & beliefs you instill in them. Even online. There are always exceptions to that, because teens will be teens, after all. :biggrin:

Also, if you are letting your kids use the technology available today, you should be familiar & pretty savvy with that technology, as well. How could you not? It's your own fault if you aren't up to par with it. :shrug:
 
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GRN96WS6

Member
Bann said:
Of *course* they're going to test the limits of your rules, etc. That's what teenagers are *supposed to do. It's a developmental milestone, if you will. And totally normal.

Part of what's different from when we were teens (1970's for me) or when our parents were teens (1950's for my parents) is the technology. We're adding computers, iPods & cell phones to the mix.

Technology makes it possible for them to do things we could never imagine. But what doesn't change is giving your child the tools in order to make the right decisions and do the right thing, etc. If you raise your child from birth to behave a certain way in any facet of their life, and you provide them with swift, but appropriate, consequences when they don't - they will not stray too far from the values, morals, expectations & beliefs you instill in them. Even online. There are always exceptions to that, because teens will be teens, after all. :biggrin:

Also, if you are letting your kids use the technology available today, you should be familiar & pretty savvy with that technology, as well. How could you not? It's your own fault if you aren't up to par with it. :shrug:
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I agree with a lot of this until the point that you should know as much or more about todays technology, hell a lot of people don't even want to use a computer or they rely on their kids to tell them or show them how to do things. But yes for the most part the values instilled in the child by the parent should be enough.
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
GRN96WS6 said:
I agree with a lot of this until the point that you should know as much or more about todays technology, hell a lot of people don't even want to use a computer or they rely on their kids to tell them or show them how to do things. But yes for the most part the values instilled in the child by the parent should be enough.
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Not wanting to learn a computer &relying on your kid to show you how is a cop out and a parent's own fault. If your kid is talking trash or posting hoochie pics and you (parent) or someone close t o you (adult) aren't aware_then shame on you. There is no reason why anyone cant take an internet safety class or " Computers 101 " these days. My sons might be more savvy with their iPods but I know enough to be able to figure it out when I need to. Also, *I * control the router & who gets access to use it. I control the Apple ID and my debit card. They also know I can pick up that iPod or cell at anytime & peruse it. AND their computers. (Which I have done.)

If a parent can't be bothered enough to learn how to use a computer well enough to set up security and do not monitor their kids' online activity -then let them reap what they sow.
 
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GRN96WS6

Member
Bann said:
Not wanting to learn a computer &relying on your kid to show you how is a cop out and a parent's own fault. If your kid is talking trash or posting hoochie pics and you (parent) or someone close t o you (adult) aren't aware_then shame on you. There is no reason why anyone cant take an internet safety class or " Computers 101 " these days. My sons might be more savvy with their iPods but I know enough to be able to figure it out when I need to. Also, *I * control the router & who gets access to use it. I control the Apple ID and my debit card. They also know I can pick up that iPod or cell at anytime & peruse it. AND their computers. (Which I have done.)

If a parent can't be bothered enough to learn how to use a computer well enough to set up security and do not monitor their kids' online activity -then let them reap what they sow.
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I agree with everything you've said but sadly we both know that not everyone wants to put in the effort :(
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
GRN96WS6 said:
I agree with everything you've said but sadly we both know that not everyone wants to put in the effort :(
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That's why we have so many screwed up kids. I have a "GOOD" kid and I have to always be on top of what he's doing. Like I said - teenagers are supposed to test limits & thwart authority. It's part of the development of their brains. (hence, the reason many of us jokingly refer to them as brain damaged). There is a wide range of normal when this rebellion kicks in, too. Some kids are naturally more easier going than others, they follow the rules without asking too many questions, or giving much backtalk, etc. But that's where PARENTING comes in.

Many, MANY parents are not parenting their kids these days. They're too busy putting themselves, their feelings, their wants, their desires, and their lives first.
 
bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
Bann said:
That's why we have so many screwed up kids. I have a "GOOD" kid and I have to always be on top of what he's doing. Like I said - teenagers are supposed to test limits & thwart authority. It's part of the development of their brains. (hence, the reason many of us jokingly refer to them as brain damaged). There is a wide range of normal when this rebellion kicks in, too. Some kids are naturally more easier going than others, they follow the rules without asking too many questions, or giving much backtalk, etc. But that's where PARENTING comes in.

Many, MANY parents are not parenting their kids these days. They're too busy putting themselves, their feelings, their wants, their desires, and their lives first.
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One has no life once kids come along. Well, no life that resembles the life they had before kids came along.
its why once people have kids, their circle of friends slowly changes over the next few years.
 
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GRN96WS6

Member
Bann said:
That's why we have so many screwed up kids. I have a "GOOD" kid and I have to always be on top of what he's doing. Like I said - teenagers are supposed to test limits & thwart authority. It's part of the development of their brains. (hence, the reason many of us jokingly refer to them as brain damaged). There is a wide range of normal when this rebellion kicks in, too. Some kids are naturally more easier going than others, they follow the rules without asking too many questions, or giving much backtalk, etc. But that's where PARENTING comes in.

Many, MANY parents are not parenting their kids these days. They're too busy putting themselves, their feelings, their wants, their desires, and their lives first.
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Lets not mention them wanting to be their child's "friend" over their "parent", we could go on and on about this topic but I think we've both made our point.
 
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