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missperky
Guest
Pandora said:I am sorry to hear that.There are some who have it worse than others. I can clearly see that I am not going through the high end of problems other parents are going through in this thread. You could look into meditation therapy. They have a specialist in that field right over in Alexandria.
I think Interim’s being handed out prompted this thread. I saw my son’s today and although improved, I decided I wasn’t going to flip out.
Thanks, I have been through some rough times with him, but we both somehow made it through it.
He has counseling every week.
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Mousebaby
Guest
Ok here's the thing. My son, before he was put on his meds, was extremely violent. He even picked up a scooter and threw it at a kid and busted that childs head open. He would throw fits you would not believe, and it wasn't because he was spoiled, or lack of punishment, he had a problem! He was also failing miserabley(sp?) in school. We tested him for all kinds of things, dislexia, his eyes, hearing, allergies, you name it he was tested. He had to have this medication. I agree that Dr.s tend to over medicate, but we tried taking him off for a while and it just didn't work out. I am going to take Vrai's and Oldman's advice and to lay off and not nag, but I am going to still encourage him to get better grades. If it doesn't happen I will not panic. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. Thanks for everyone's help! 
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missperky
Guest
Mousebaby said:Ok here's the thing. My son, before he was put on his meds, was extremely violent. He even picked up a scooter and threw it at a kid and busted that childs head open. He would throw fits you would not believe, and it wasn't because he was spoiled, or lack of punishment, he had a problem! He was also failing miserabley(sp?) in school. We tested him for all kinds of things, dislexia, his eyes, hearing, allergies, you name it he was tested. He had to have this medication. I agree that Dr.s tend to over medicate, but we tried taking him off for a while and it just didn't work out. I am going to take Vrai's and Oldman's advice and to lay off and not nag, but I am going to still encourage him to get better grades. If it doesn't happen I will not panic. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. Thanks for everyone's help!
I am hoping that your son is on medication used to treat something other then ADHD? That doesn't sound like ADHD?
(Though tough, when you need to be!)
BlackSheep
New Member
Well for starters I'm not a Lucy-Mousebaby said:'splain please Lucy!
Secondly-why now-why now "is you" so worried?? Take a hint from Vria's message-quote:"Why can't a kid be a kid without their parents thinking something is "wrong" with them?!
morganj614 said:
I do agree with you that drugs don't solve problems but they can help when used in conjunction with therapy, behavior modification, etc. I have also known some kids that you would think were adhd but weren't. Just wild, which I do believe little boys should be- to a certain extent - right time and place- : I have two and a 16y.o. daughter, I would much rather have two wild little boys than a 16y.o. girl attitude anyday!
On that, we wholeheartedly agreemommarock said:
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Mousebaby
Guest
mommarock said:
I'm not hearing this, I'm not hearing this! 
:fixed:kom526 said:
Not everyone can be an astronaut :ding!diapersarefilled:
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Wenchy
Guest
vraiblonde said:
She went off her meds. :shrug:
Does anyone here know what a "switch" is?..... (a long, skinny, flexible tree branch)! If my brothers or I acted up, my grandma would make us go and cut our own "swithch", bring it back to her then she would leave welts on our arse with it!!
Also available as useful deterrents are belts, paddles, baking spoons, backhands, etc......
Sounds like this is what the boy needs! Or you could just try timeouts because they are so highly effective!!! LOL!!
Also available as useful deterrents are belts, paddles, baking spoons, backhands, etc......
Sounds like this is what the boy needs! Or you could just try timeouts because they are so highly effective!!! LOL!!
jenbengen
Watch it
Mousebaby said:I have been through this with my oldest son for several years now. He was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade and has been medicated since. His grades are TERRIBLE!!! We know he does not have a learning disability as we have had him tested up one side and down the other. We know the medication is doing what it's supposed to be doing because if it weren't he would be totally out of control. We have begged, cried, screamed, yelled, grounded, removed all his electronics from his room and have even busted his tail on the occasion for these grades. I know he is capable, even his teachers know he is capable. He just doesn't do his work! What am I doing wrong??? We are at our wits end!! I cannot just sit here and watch this child throw his life away with both hands! We keep telling him, this is not a game anymore, this is serious, you are in high school, no one is going to hold your hand, you have to do it on your own! It's time to grow up! It's done no good to tell him any of this. Please somebody help me, I am so tired of this and I am so sick of being sick.
TIA!
I had a time like this in high school...wouldn't do a single thing and even got kicked out of honors classes for not doing the work. You are right- he is probably completely capable of the work. What changed everything for me was something SO simple...I had a teacher that I really looked up to encourage me POSITIVELY and kept on me. I started doing my work and wanted to impress her because she believed in me. Maybe it takes him finding somebody he wants to make proud to change his thinking. It sounds so shallow, but teens are a bit self-absorbed at times and their parents aren't their first concern.
I am sorry you have to go through this. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Unfortunately for us parents, that doesn't always make a kid do what they are told. They have their own minds...darn it all.
Pandora said:
Yes, I think so.
Another misconception about ADHD is that the child doesn't pay attention. Well, they are paying attention, to everything around them. That is why the preferential seating helps, if they are up in front of instruction, they are less distracted by other things in the room. (It gives the appearance that a child is bored with school because instruction doesn't hold their attention...) When I know a student is ADHD, I set up my room differently, less posters, colors, etc. so the child is not distracted by my room arrangement, another reason a 504/diagnosis can be helpful. Most of these kids are very smart and it takes time and communication with all involved to "unlock" their potential. Stick with it!!
snuzzy said:Yes, I think so.
Another misconception about ADHD is that the child doesn't pay attention. Well, they are paying attention, to everything around them. That is why the preferential seating helps, if they are up in front of instruction, they are less distracted by other things in the room. (It gives the appearance that a child is bored with school because instruction doesn't hold their attention...) When I know a student is ADHD, I set up my room differently, less posters, colors, etc. so the child is not distracted by my room arrangement, another reason a 504/diagnosis can be helpful. Most of these kids are very smart and it takes time and communication with all involved to "unlock" their potential. Stick with it!!
itsbob
I bowl overhand
A diagnosis is not always a good thing.. A diagnosis gives teachers, school staff, the parents and the student an excuse NOT to do things, or at least not do them well. They can keep the student in lower level classes, and sometimes prevent the student from getting into 'real' classes. it's a REAL good excuse to not put a student into college prep classes, but send him to the Vo-Tech (and not because the STUDENT wanted it, I don't have a problem with Vo-Tech for students that do want it). to teach him how to wash dishes and set tables.snuzzy said:Yes, I think so.
Another misconception about ADHD is that the child doesn't pay attention. Well, they are paying attention, to everything around them. That is why the preferential seating helps, if they are up in front of instruction, they are less distracted by other things in the room. (It gives the appearance that a child is bored with school because instruction doesn't hold their attention...) When I know a student is ADHD, I set up my room differently, less posters, colors, etc. so the child is not distracted by my room arrangement, another reason a 504/diagnosis can be helpful. Most of these kids are very smart and it takes time and communication with all involved to "unlock" their potential. Stick with it!!
They wanted me to get my son diagnosed, and put on Meds, and I put it off, and put it off. Elementary school was tough, as was middle school, but he made it. He found something HE was interested in in High School, and with participating there was a grade requirement. He is required to pass all his classes, and can only get one 'D' on his report card, and can fail NO classes. He's now in JROTC, and looks good in uniform, and this year he started to manage the wrestling team (something he found and volunteered for on his own). All it took was HIM finding something he was interested in, and something he could only participate in if he EARNED it.
This boy went from failing/ barely passing remedial classes, to taking Honors classes and making Honor Roll. His next year schedule includes Honors Math (I don't remember if it's Algebra or Geometry) honors Chemistry.. and all the other classes he has to take.
He did it without getting 'coded' (which would have prevented him from doing most of the above) without drugs.. and now he can have a 'normal' teenage life, and hopefully a productive adult life.
Oh, and I forgot.. a diagnosis is also good to get the child "rubber stamped" all the way to graduation, even though they don't have the skills to be a productive member of society.
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SoMDMama82
New Member
jenbengen said:
I had my moments in High School also. 9th and 10th grades. I was too worried about having fun and being a "social butterfly". My friends didn't give a sh*t about their grades, so neither did I. I made sure I didn't get F's so I didn't have to repeat, but just barely made it through. I knew the stuff, did alright on tests and in-class stuff, but wouldn't do my homework. I guess for me something snapped in the 11th grade, and I decided I wanted to go to college. It was too late to up my cumulative GPA to get a scholarship though. I kick myself in the a$$ for that now, but it’s a lesson learned. Not much I can do about it now.
I did great in college though, always on the dean's list. I guess it's a little to do with growing up, not being in classes with the same people year after year, and deciding what I WANT to take, so I'm interested.
One of my college professors (a lawyer) told me that she would hire someone with experience over a college degree any day. So education is important, but it isn't the only means to success.
Just let him grow up....of course, keep on him a little so at least he'll have the incentive to at least pass the classes (never let him know you'll settle for C's & D's). Don't worry yourself to death about him not being an honor roll student. Like I think Vrai said, some kids are
some aren't. If you’ve displayed good parenting skills throughout his life, I’m sure he’ll be alright.And just because a kid gets bad grades, doesn’t reflect on parenting. Friends are a MAJOR influence in middle & high school. That and just they’re trying to “find themselves”.