VicMackey
New Member
From one of the best blogsites out there,http://www.imao.us/archives/000602.html#000602
Exerpt:
In My World: Career Day
...
"Now, Tom Daschle, why don't you tell the class what you do."
"I am a U.S. Senator. I help vote for what becomes our laws."
"You're a devil man!" screamed one child.
"Yes, I seem to radiate off sort of sinister vibe that young children pick up on," Daschle explained, "Commonly, babies cry when I come near. Most people, though, as they grow older no longer sense my evil so easily, and then may vote for me."
"My dad says you're a mean man who takes his money," said a little boy.
"I think that you're dad is just being selfish to try and keep his money. As a Senator, I'm better equipped to know how to spend people's money. And we'll be able to take even more money into our loving care if we Democrats can get a majority in 2004."
"Yeah, that will happen," Bush chuckled.
"It's not your turn, Mr. Bush," the teacher told him firmly, "Let Daschle speak. Now, Daschle, what does one have to do to become a Senator?"
"I think it's a good idea to first become a lawyer. That helps erode away your soul, which is an obstacle in politics. Then I say you need to act concerned about lots of things and talk down to people. And it's good to have a believable smile." Daschle then smiled, causing the class to cry.
"Make the scary man go away!" cried one girl.
"Maybe it's time for George Bush to speak," the teacher said, "Tell the class what your job is."
"I'm the President of the United States," Bush said proudly, "The most powerful man in the world. Maybe the universe. Within at least a few light-years from here, for sure, though. It's a fun job. I miss signing off all those executions like when I was governor, but instead I can declare wars now and kill even more bad people. You know that Iraqi war? That was my idea."
"And would just like to say I supported the troops," Daschle added, "but I was saddened how your botched diplomacy forced us into conflict."
"Oh, and I always had something I wanted to say in response to that," Bush said. He then turned to his side and punched Daschle in the face.
"You broke my nose!" Daschle screamed.
"People say I sometimes garble my words, but I think I was pretty clear there," Bush chuckled.
"There is no hitting in class!" the teacher yelled. "Daschle, you can go to the nurse. Bush, you're getting a demerit."
"I'm going to tell!" Daschle cried, running off.
"Crybaby," Bush uttered.
Laura smacked him on the back of the head. "You're embarrassing me."
The teacher added Bush's name to a list on the wall and put a frowny face next to it.
"Ha ha!" laughed a kid, "Bush got a demerit!"
"What's your name kid?"
"Uh... Tommy."
"Tommy what?"
"Tommy... Anderson."
"Well, guess what? The Andersons are about to get audited. It's going to be so stressful to your parents that they'll get divorced and it will be all your fault."
"George!" Laura yelled.
"What? He was making fun of me."
"Why don't you explain more of your job," the teacher told him.
"Alright. I have to keep the world from imploding, since the rest of the countries are a bunch of idiots. The worst is France. How can I describe this to you... France is kinda like that kid in class everyone hates who reminds the teacher to give out homework." He then pointed to a geeky looking kid wearing glasses. "Probably that kid; he's France."
"But without homework," the kid responded, "how are we going..."
"Quiet, France. I'm tired of dealing with you."
"Do you have questions for Mr. Bush?" the teacher asked the class.
"My mom says you didn't really win the election," said one boy.
"She said that, huh," Bush answered, looking a bit annoyed, "Well I want you to go home and #####-slap her for me. And she can't ground you for it, because I pardon you."
"George!" Laura shouted.
...
Exerpt:
In My World: Career Day
...
"Now, Tom Daschle, why don't you tell the class what you do."
"I am a U.S. Senator. I help vote for what becomes our laws."
"You're a devil man!" screamed one child.
"Yes, I seem to radiate off sort of sinister vibe that young children pick up on," Daschle explained, "Commonly, babies cry when I come near. Most people, though, as they grow older no longer sense my evil so easily, and then may vote for me."
"My dad says you're a mean man who takes his money," said a little boy.
"I think that you're dad is just being selfish to try and keep his money. As a Senator, I'm better equipped to know how to spend people's money. And we'll be able to take even more money into our loving care if we Democrats can get a majority in 2004."
"Yeah, that will happen," Bush chuckled.
"It's not your turn, Mr. Bush," the teacher told him firmly, "Let Daschle speak. Now, Daschle, what does one have to do to become a Senator?"
"I think it's a good idea to first become a lawyer. That helps erode away your soul, which is an obstacle in politics. Then I say you need to act concerned about lots of things and talk down to people. And it's good to have a believable smile." Daschle then smiled, causing the class to cry.
"Make the scary man go away!" cried one girl.
"Maybe it's time for George Bush to speak," the teacher said, "Tell the class what your job is."
"I'm the President of the United States," Bush said proudly, "The most powerful man in the world. Maybe the universe. Within at least a few light-years from here, for sure, though. It's a fun job. I miss signing off all those executions like when I was governor, but instead I can declare wars now and kill even more bad people. You know that Iraqi war? That was my idea."
"And would just like to say I supported the troops," Daschle added, "but I was saddened how your botched diplomacy forced us into conflict."
"Oh, and I always had something I wanted to say in response to that," Bush said. He then turned to his side and punched Daschle in the face.
"You broke my nose!" Daschle screamed.
"People say I sometimes garble my words, but I think I was pretty clear there," Bush chuckled.
"There is no hitting in class!" the teacher yelled. "Daschle, you can go to the nurse. Bush, you're getting a demerit."
"I'm going to tell!" Daschle cried, running off.
"Crybaby," Bush uttered.
Laura smacked him on the back of the head. "You're embarrassing me."
The teacher added Bush's name to a list on the wall and put a frowny face next to it.
"Ha ha!" laughed a kid, "Bush got a demerit!"
"What's your name kid?"
"Uh... Tommy."
"Tommy what?"
"Tommy... Anderson."
"Well, guess what? The Andersons are about to get audited. It's going to be so stressful to your parents that they'll get divorced and it will be all your fault."
"George!" Laura yelled.
"What? He was making fun of me."
"Why don't you explain more of your job," the teacher told him.
"Alright. I have to keep the world from imploding, since the rest of the countries are a bunch of idiots. The worst is France. How can I describe this to you... France is kinda like that kid in class everyone hates who reminds the teacher to give out homework." He then pointed to a geeky looking kid wearing glasses. "Probably that kid; he's France."
"But without homework," the kid responded, "how are we going..."
"Quiet, France. I'm tired of dealing with you."
"Do you have questions for Mr. Bush?" the teacher asked the class.
"My mom says you didn't really win the election," said one boy.
"She said that, huh," Bush answered, looking a bit annoyed, "Well I want you to go home and #####-slap her for me. And she can't ground you for it, because I pardon you."
"George!" Laura shouted.
...
Play nice...