See, that's the thing. She doesn't need to do a thing to accommodate me. She is fine and doesn't need to change a thing. We just aren't 'it' for one another and that is OK. All the plus's of early on, I mean, sure, early on is easy, agreed but, you can't get to finding out what next month or 6 months or next year bring until you get there. It was promising and, that and other reasons, anh, not our cup of tea. I could be smug and say 'she wasn't for me' but, by definition, I wasn't for her either and that alone is one clarity I have now that I didn't have 30, 25, 20, 15, 10 years ago. I mean, Vrai REALLY brought it home to me in another thread' (maybe this one???) that even when things were great for her and I, it was never easy. That said a LOT to me because there were times when she and I both thought that if she and I couldn't make it work with all the GREAT things we did share, what chance does anyone have? And the simply truth of the matter that she figured out and, my extension, made me understand, is that, whatever was fantastic about our relationship, yeah, maybe not everyone has that high but, by the same token, maybe good relationships don't have the lows she and I had and THAT becomes the larger point; maybe THIS part isn't a 10 for some folks, but, maybe THAT part isn't a 0 or 1 and that means the lack of '10' in whatever ares isn't all that big a deal. I know for a fact that I ignored a HUGE red flag about her early on and that she ignored at least one, (or was it 10??) about me. You make that compromise then for whatever reasons you make it. The good stuff, the kids, the place and time, the possibilities and that's all fine but, those things were there at the beginning and that, in my view, just IS about anyone and it either is OK over time or...it ain't as circumstances evolve.
So, where that all has me now is a very low threshold for anything that isn't...easy. If something bugs me about "her" fairly soon on, it will damn sure bug me later and that is, for sure, a two way street. The possibility existed, for good reasons, that this last flame may well have been the one who I could have evolved with over time and all would have been well but, for several reasons, those chances got fairly low in view fairly quick and, again, I ain't got, or won't commit the time. Maybe that alone is all that need be said???
In any event, I am a LOT more aware that it could be ME that could be the source of problems later than I used to be and, in some way, I think I saved HER the trouble. Now, should I have left it to her to make that decision?
Nope.
