Parental Differences/Disagreement

[Ghetto Smurf]

But as you can see if a adult goes out and shoots up Wal-mart the court does not go and shoot up his home. AND PLEASE USE SPELL CHECK!

How do you know that that it is an excuse? Are you a Doctor? DO you know each and every child that has been diagnosed?

Yes i am actualy.. its a funny story actualy. i got drunk, passed out and hit my head on a toliet. when i awoke i had the same knowledge as one with a master degree in human pshycology.

 

[greyhound]

I was thinking the same thing too. Too much like his other MPD

I was thinking "her" other MPD.

 

[Kain99]

I'm gonna just come right out and say it. I love DQ, as if she were my own. Amazing kid! You re an exceptional mother. Daddy has chosen to be absent and move on with his life. While in a normal scenario his opinion would matter... In this one, tell him to go soak his head. Taking her off her meds like that was criminal.

 

[crabcake]

Once again......ADHD is not life threating.

That depends on how you look at it. Studies have shown that children who do NOT take medication for ADHD are far more likely to succumb to alcohol and drug addiction later in life. :shrug:

And it's not a matter of life threatening. You take Excedrin for a headache? How about Tums for heartburn? That stuff isn't life threatening either, but you self-medicate for it. :shrug:

If the majority of these parents that have their kids on medication, would just sit down with them and spend time with them, they would probably realize that they don't need medication...just quality time with people that love them!

Quality time together is NOT an issue in this household.

the only children I have heard of that I could ever possibly think of putting on meds......are the ones that act out in violence towards their parents.

Been there; done that. In addition to acting out physically toward me, she's attempted to hurt herself in a couple of instances. Satisfied now?

Its always good to know that there are some people that believe in discipline and not drugs! My mom used to beat that crap out of me when I acted up.

FYI: I'm the parent who -- when she was acting up and I threatened to smash her game boy with the heal of my boot -- I delivered on that promise right in front of her. She's been talked to, had her ass spanked, her mouth popped for sarcasm, her hair at the back of her neck tugged on to get her attention, and a bunch of other parenting tools that you think I haven't tried already. Like I said from the get-go, I didn't just run out and seek drugs for my kid without trying every other disciplinary tool first.

anyway from what I read this morning crabcake, your daughter seems quite mature for her age. Especially since she herself knows the difference when she is on the meds or off. My question is: Why did she not just continue to apply the patch herself?

Because when I talked to Dad about it, he didn't give me any indication that he wouldn't give it to her or apply it on her. Had he said that, I would have just told her to take care of it herself and not bring it up. It's pretty sad that -- at 8 years old -- a child can identify with what helps them and a grown-up at 33 years old doesn't believe it.

 

[Nanny Pam]

I'm gonna just come right out and say it. I love DQ, as if she were my own. Amazing kid! You re an exceptional mother. Daddy has chosen to be absent and move on with his life. While in a normal scenario his opinion would matter... In this one, tell him to go soak his head. Taking her off her meds like that was criminal.

Abso- fvckin'-lutely!

 

[crabcake]

Taking her off her meds like that was criminal.

THAT was exactly my thought. If a doctor has prescribed it, and the parent with primary physical custody has been administering it as prescribed with clear and demonstrated success/benefit, isn't it basically neglect to NOT administer it? He's had ample opportunity to talk to all her doctors about it, yet he's never exercised that option even once.

 

[Kain99]

THAT was exactly my thought. If a doctor has prescribed it, and the parent with primary physical custody has been administering it as prescribed with clear and demonstrated success/benefit, isn't it basically neglect to NOT administer it? He's had ample opportunity to talk to all her doctors about it, yet he's never exercised that option even once.

I truly believe you have a case. Thank God you left him! That boy will never get his head outta his azz!

 

[smoothmarine187]

And it's not a matter of life threatening. You take Excedrin for a headache? How about Tums for heartburn? That stuff isn't life threatening either, but you self-medicate for it. :shrug:

Actually I don't self medicate myself with anything. If I have a headache or heartburn or any of that crap....I just let it run its course. Its only a little pain......It will only make you stronger.

 

[CableChick]

Actually I don't self medicate myself with anything. If I have a headache or heartburn or any of that crap....I just let it run its course. Its only a little pain......It will only make you stronger.

 

[smoothmarine187]

You see, I told you, I'm not really this annoying in person.

 

[aps45819]

Actually I don't self medicate myself with anything. If I have a headache or heartburn or any of that crap....I just let it run its course. Its only a little pain......It will only make you stronger.

You telling us you don't go out amd medicate yourself with a central nervous system depressant?

 

[happyappygirl]

Not bite back harder, just establish a sense of consiquence opposed to making any kind of excuse for such an act. If the the act is harsh, you must show them there can and will be a harsh consiquence. example.. as adults we "should" all know we cant go out and shoot up walmart without life in jail or death. If your kid is told they have some condition thats just an excuse they can use to justify or defend themselves for doing something out of line. No matter how bad the act there can always be that thing to fall back on... It may be ok in childhood but IMO is just setting up for something bad down the road.

Ohh tell me i didn't hit that nail on the head.

Doesn't matter how HARD you bite back, you're bigger, stronger and YOU win because he can't retaliate against YOU. SOOOO...what's he do? Bites the littler kid.
Kids who TRUELY need this sort of intervention simply can't control their impulses. They don't have that ability. Counselling along with the therapy is the preferred method, so they learn (hopefully) constructive ways to deal with anger, frustration, confusion, boredom etc. etc. As with any treatment protocol, the ultimate goal is for recovery, and/or management of their emotions and removal from the meds.

When my daughter was 10 months old she pierced my nipple when nursing, YOWZA. I yelped! Her sisters laughed, she watched them laugh, so when i switched sides, she tried it on the other side. SAME response from me. AND i weaned her to a cup. I didn't bite her back!! She never bit me or anyone again.

When my son bit his sister's finger because she stuck it in his mouth, she screamed, I removed him from the situation, and acted SHOCKED and hurt and told him how sorprised I was that he'd actually DO something awful like that. he got my point and never did it again, to anyone. I had to restrain his sister from biting his finger off, but she also got the same message, just because she was bigger, didn't mean she had the right to retaliate like that, he apoligized to her. If it was bad for him it was worse for her to do it back.

My son got into one major altercation in high school. someone else took a swing at him. His response was to grab the buy in a chokehold, swing him to the floor and put his knee into his back until someone could come get the dumbo. The teachers were very impressed with his self restraint. This from a boy who's been shooting guns forever, and doing martial arts, and self protection stuff since he was a toddler with his (cop/infantry army officer dad). He ain't no wussy. Get my point?

I've raised 4 1/2 really terrific kids (i have a 9 y/o still at home). Ya'll with one or two kiddos, are a bunch of rookies when it comes to raising 'em. REALLY. My first 3 were in 5 years, then i had another one, then 10 years later had my last.

 

[happyappygirl]

Actually I don't self medicate myself with anything. If I have a headache or heartburn or any of that crap....I just let it run its course. Its only a little pain......It will only make you stronger.

'till that case of heartburn turns into a major mycardial infarc. heart attack.

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

Yes i am actualy.. its a funny story actualy. i got drunk, passed out and hit my head on a toliet. when i awoke i had the same knowledge as one with a master degree in human pshycology.

Ohhh I could tell from your posts how smart you were.

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

I was thinking "her" other MPD.

Nope I am thinking him

 

[bohman]

If the majority of these parents that have their kids on medication, would just sit down with them and spend time with them, they would probably realize that they don't need medication...just quality time with people that love them!

Yes, maybe the majority, but not all! ADHD is way overdiagnosed, but it does exist. And it seems that Crabcake has done enough homework to know whether it applies to HER child or not. So maybe you could start being helpful, and stay on point, like she politely asked us all to do in her first post. Remember? Or maybe you didn't bother to read it all.

I'm just saying, sounds like she's got enough on her mind without arguing with somebody that doesn't know her kid.

 

[crabcake]

Yes, maybe the majority, but not all! ADHD is way overdiagnosed, but it does exist. And it seems that Crabcake has done enough homework to know whether it applies to HER child or not. So maybe you could start being helpful, and stay on point, like she politely asked us all to do in her first post. Remember? Or maybe you didn't bother to read it all.

I'm just saying, sounds like she's got enough on her mind without arguing with somebody that doesn't know her kid.

Thank you. I agree that a lot of kids are misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD, and it's sad that those who don't really need it do get medicated. I'm grateful that DQ has an excellent pediatrician who isn't been afraid to say, "let's get a second opinion on this" if she's unsure about something. And having seen the benefits from her medication vs. her not being on her medication, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She's a much happier kid when she's leveled off and able to concentrate, and the fact that SHE can say that at her age is proof-positive that I made the right choice.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Crabby,

Do you ever chop up DQ's pills and snort them? You know, if you're bored?

 

[crabcake]

Crabby,

Do you ever chop up DQ's pills and snort them? You know, if you're bored?

No ... she doesn't take pills anymore.

 

[happyazz]

'till that case of heartburn turns into a major mycardial infarc. heart attack.

And how can that happen???????