Question about Grown Children
- Thread starter rdkarob
- Start date
I've never understood the whole "bigger person" deal.
vraiblonde said:I don't understand how it makes you "the bigger person" to not chastise your kid when they're being a jerk.
It's not like you're expecting some big fancy present - just a simple phone call and acknowledgment. That is not too much to ask for or expect from your children. When my daughter was at college, she forgot my birthday. I called her the next day and said, "Forget something?" "OMG!!!" she shrieked, "I am SOO sorry!!!" She genuinely just got busy and spaced it off, but I had no qualms about reminding her instead of stewing and being hurt by it.
And I also have no problem saying, "Listen, tomorrow is Grannie's birthday so make sure you give her a call." Shoot, my mother calls ME and reminds me it's someone's birthday or whatever.
What is the big deal about doing this?
Guess what....WE DO REMIND HIM! He still forgets! because he is too busy worrying about how he is going to get home to watch TV snuggled with his friend.
chernmax
NOT Politically Correct!!
rdkarob said:
Buy him a calendar for his birthday and fill in all the important dates you want him to remember.
Actually, this year for Christmas my brother sent us a 2007 calendar he had made and every month featured a collection of different family picture from his family. What I liked best about it was, it listed all the important family dates like birthdays, wedding's, anniversaries, graduations, etc were already printed into the calendar for 2007. He still won't get sh!t birthday or holiday wise, however it's a great idea none the less...
Nickel
curiouser and curiouser
My dad's sister does this every year for Christmas. It's always seemed a little strange to me, but it is a good idea.chernmax said:
That's an excellent idea. It's something I might do for my grandma, her birthday is coming up soon.Actually, this year for Christmas my brother sent us a 2007 calendar he had made and every month featured a collection of different family picture from his family. What I liked best about it was, it listed all the important family dates like birthdays, wedding's, anniversaries, graduations, etc were already printed into the calendar for 2007. He still won't get sh!t birthday or holiday wise, however it's a great idea none the less...
chernmax said:Actually, this year for Christmas my brother sent us a 2007 calendar he had made and every month featured a collection of different family picture from his family. What I liked best about it was, it listed all the important family dates like birthdays, wedding's, anniversaries, graduations, etc were already printed into the calendar for 2007. He still won't get sh!t birthday or holiday wise, however it's a great idea none the less...
My step-children did this for everyone on their mother's side for Christmas presents.
Then simply forget him as well. And if he asks, just say, "What? I did the same for you that you did for me. What's the problem?"rdkarob said:
:shrug:
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Ok...
...so you were under same roof dad all the way until he got out of high school, right?
rdkarob said:
...so you were under same roof dad all the way until he got out of high school, right?
SEABREEZE 1957
My 401K is now a 201K
rdkarob said:
Tell him he can get free tuition via the military...the discipline would do him good.
wharf rat
Smilin on a cloudy day
The only time my wifes son calls is when he needs something. He's 21.
I don't think he's ever called just to say hi. Thankfully she dosen't give in to him anymore. Unfortunately, his grandmother still does. She leaves the door open no matter what the situation is and it's caused alot of strife with that side of the family. He will not accept any responsibility for his actions, but grandma has that "you have to love and comfort them" mentality. She's the last of the enablers and he plays her like a fiddle that's on fire. Most of the family on both sides have done well for themselves and he just wants to ride everyone's coattails.
His last call to my wife was to ask how much we make in a month, could she pay his phone bill and why didn't he get his Valentines money. After telling him none of his business, no and that he's a big boy now... he cursed her out and said don't ask him for any money when hes rich and famous. She told him nothing would make her or the family happier than if he could pull that off.
He won't be calling again anytime soon.
I don't think he's ever called just to say hi. Thankfully she dosen't give in to him anymore. Unfortunately, his grandmother still does. She leaves the door open no matter what the situation is and it's caused alot of strife with that side of the family. He will not accept any responsibility for his actions, but grandma has that "you have to love and comfort them" mentality. She's the last of the enablers and he plays her like a fiddle that's on fire. Most of the family on both sides have done well for themselves and he just wants to ride everyone's coattails.
His last call to my wife was to ask how much we make in a month, could she pay his phone bill and why didn't he get his Valentines money. After telling him none of his business, no and that he's a big boy now... he cursed her out and said don't ask him for any money when hes rich and famous. She told him nothing would make her or the family happier than if he could pull that off.
He won't be calling again anytime soon.
I'm sorry for your wife. That must hurt her deeply.wharf rat said:
