Restraining Order

[Roman]

She should have had him arrested for hitting her. The Black Eye is evidence enough, and hopefully..pictures were taken. Unfortunately, in some cases, the Woman feels like nobody else would want her, so she ends up going back to the POS, for financial security, falsely thinking "He won't do it again", or "The kids deserve having BOTH Parents", or "We can work this out". Having been in Law Enforcement many years ago, I saw this ALL the time, and it is frustrating, as well as sad. It's easy for me to say "Move on", but only she will be able to make the decision. Let's just hope that it isn't too late. I am a FIRM believer of the saying "It's better to COME from a broken home, than it is to LIVE in one".

 

[Jannifer]

Walden Sienna (sp) has some great free programs to help woman like this. They are kind and helpful and not judgmental which is what she needs right now. Maybe you could call and find out more.

 

[ICit]

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....

and that goes for verbal, physical and even mental. He will not change...and she needs to understand that. The reason she feels like she does is that he has worn/broke her Self-esteem down so low that she really thinks he is good for her. And she cant do better, and she needs him in her life.

 

[granny45]

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....

and that goes for verbal, physical and even mental. He will not change...and she needs to understand that. The reason she feels like she does is that he has worn/broke her Self-esteem down so low that she really thinks he is good for her. And she cant do better, and she needs him in her life.

I believe this is what she thinks. I think they both need counseling.

 

[Lurk]

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....
.

Sounds to me like there are more than one abuser in this relationship. The children need to be removed from danger until both the parents can grow up.

 

[DaisyDuke]

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

I obviously do not know the situation, but this is something I will never understand, especially with kids involved. I understand the financial security aspect and how difficult it is to leave, but kids should be top priority. Children aren't stupid, they know what goes on.

 

[ICit]

Sounds to me like there are more than one abuser in this relationship. The children need to be removed from danger until both the parents can grow up.

true... it does take two to tango....

... and most cases the female has also hit the male during fights. Sometimes cutting the ties is the hardest thing to do... but is the right thing to do for the kids.

there are many kids that grow up with only one parent.

 

[ICit]

I obviously do not know the situation, but this is something I will never understand, especially with kids involved. I understand the financial security aspect and how difficult it is to leave, but kids should be top priority. Children aren't stupid, they know what goes on.

so true!!!


and when kids are used as the pawns... this makes me

 

[RareBreed]

true... it does take two to tango....

... and most cases the female has also hit the male during fights. Sometimes cutting the ties is the hardest thing to do... but is the right thing to do for the kids.

there are many kids that grow up with only one parent.

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

 

[FED_UP]

And she is having second thoughts?

But its kinda ok, she wuvs hims, come hear rose let me black your eye and show you some love. Some women get abused they seem to luv there man even more, arent we powerful. IMO mostly due to insecurity. OK Rose get the restraining order, I will be back soon to blacken the other eye and you will luv me even more the first. I could be nice and blacken both eyes at the same time if you'd like so it won't look odd, I am so considerate

 

[FED_UP]

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

Nothing a good pot of hot grits can't fix.

 

[ICit]

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

...sorry you had to go thru that.... no child should ever have to deal with that... AND remember it for this long.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did

 

[ICit]

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did

and "ALL" have stories to tell. very sad



sure hope you pay attention to this

 

[FED_UP]

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did

What makes the women stay beside insecurity, what others might say, embarrassment, don't want the Jones's to know, also I am staying for the kids (so willing to sacrafice ass whoopings once in a while). I don't have know where to go.

 

[Lurk]

What makes the women stay beside insecurity, what others might say, embarrassment, don't want the Jones's to know, also I am staying for the kids. I don't have know where to go.

The same things that lead her to let him father one or more whelps without the commitment of a wedding, probably.

 

[FED_UP]

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did

I know exactly what your talking about, sad.

 

[frequentflier]

Abuse is abuse and children get caught in the middle.

My parents should have divorced long before they did. They *stayed together for the sake of the children* Unfortunately for us, they lived together for over 2 years w/o saying a word to each other. I was their messenger between the ages of 9 to 11. Neither of them had anything nice to say, either.

There are many reasons I did not have children and having grown up this way was one of them.

 

[RoseRed]

But its kinda ok, she wuvs hims, come hear rose let me black your eye and show you some love. Some women get abused they seem to luv there man even more, arent we powerful. IMO mostly due to insecurity. OK Rose get the restraining order, I will be back soon to blacken the other eye and you will luv me even more the first. I could be nice and blacken both eyes at the same time if you'd like so it won't look odd, I am so considerate

It's good to be single and not have to answer to ANYONE.

 

[FED_UP]

Abuse is abuse and children get caught in the middle.

My parents should have divorced long before they did. They *stayed together for the sake of the children* Unfortunately for us, they lived together for over 2 years w/o saying a word to each other. I was their messenger between the ages of 9 to 11. Neither of them had anything nice to say, either.

There are many reasons I did not have children and having grown up this way was one of them.

See the psychological effects of children around abuse, no kids, but I bet you have a dog or cat.