sleuth
Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
My girlfriend is having a very tough time with this. Her recently ex'ed ex-husband gets the 3 year old daughter two nights a week and every other weekend.
The problem is that the little girl freaks out when it's time to go to Dad's. She hides, cries, fights, claws, and screams anytime he comes to pick her up.
When you quiz the child as to why she doesn't want to go to her dad's, she either dodges the question and talks about something else, or she just says that she gets bored because all her dad does is set her in front of the tv or gives her the same books and games every time she visits.
I have my own theories on the guy, but as I only get to hear one side I am reluctant to make judgements. I personally think he is a world-class a-hole, and the fact that he was abusive to his ex-wife makes me wonder if he's abusive to the girl. But unless the girl will elaborate on her visits, we have nothing on him.
I have told my girlfriend that the only thing I can think of that she can really do is be a parent and lay down the law, and not allow the tantrums when the time comes for him to pick up the girl. And that should the tantrums continue, the daughter be disciplined. He's still the dad and until she has proof of abuse, there's not much else she can do. However, she is reluctant to discipline for fear that something sinister may be happening, and that her discipline would be in error.
Anyone had this problem? Anyone got some advice?
The only other advice I could give her was to go to counseling with her and her daughter.
The problem is that the little girl freaks out when it's time to go to Dad's. She hides, cries, fights, claws, and screams anytime he comes to pick her up.
When you quiz the child as to why she doesn't want to go to her dad's, she either dodges the question and talks about something else, or she just says that she gets bored because all her dad does is set her in front of the tv or gives her the same books and games every time she visits.
I have my own theories on the guy, but as I only get to hear one side I am reluctant to make judgements. I personally think he is a world-class a-hole, and the fact that he was abusive to his ex-wife makes me wonder if he's abusive to the girl. But unless the girl will elaborate on her visits, we have nothing on him.
I have told my girlfriend that the only thing I can think of that she can really do is be a parent and lay down the law, and not allow the tantrums when the time comes for him to pick up the girl. And that should the tantrums continue, the daughter be disciplined. He's still the dad and until she has proof of abuse, there's not much else she can do. However, she is reluctant to discipline for fear that something sinister may be happening, and that her discipline would be in error.
Anyone had this problem? Anyone got some advice?
The only other advice I could give her was to go to counseling with her and her daughter.