Larry Gude
Strung Out
...how does one do that??? It is alot easy than one might think...at first glance.
Yesterday, I'm on 17, par 5, shot 51 on the front, I'm 6,6,5,4,3,4,3 on the back, +4.
Lose my drive WAY right, first banana all day and I ain't lifted a club since September. Just so happens there is room way right. This is a par 5 with a pond on the right up to the green, pond runs from the 150's in.
So, I'm looking at what I think is the far left edge of the pond and I hit an 8 to lay up and it is right on and I mean right on my target, a good, solid stroke. I even seen it bounce. Once.
Turns out that my target IS the very, VERY edge of the pond. Ball is right there, two feet in, same as being alongside the Titanic.
I phish it out and drop, cursing and lamenting how a smart play AND a good swing has gone awry. Oh well. At least I got my pro v1 back. I got a buck and a quarter to a front pin and a PW in my hand...and nothing but the Adriatic from here to there.
I been hitting decent short irons all day, no sweat.
...
...the divot, which probably showed up on radar it was so big, went as far as the ball. I'm like, where the flying hell did that come from??? That's not true. I said ####, not hell. That's not true. I didn't say it, I spewed it.
This is the point where all the control circuits went out and I'm in Tin Cup mode. I can MAKE a damn wedge over a freakin pond.
1 is off to the right, 2 is the 8 into the edge of the pond, 3, then this one 4, into the land of floating grass clumps, 5.
I drop the ball. EXACT same over the top yank, 6 and 7.
I drop the ball. EXACT same over the top yank, only harder, 8 and 9.
I drop the ball and swing so hard that #10 actually gets past the divot and lands on terra firmer, only because it's 20 yards right of the green and we've actually run out of pond by 18 tee.
So, a nice pitch to 8 feet, 11.
Slide right 12, tap in....13.
18 is a rope down the left side, a sky high 8...because I hit 8 so well, falls off a bit, front right, a pitch and a putt, 4.
My nephew, 13, whom I got new clubs for Christmas, whom sat in the cart in utter silence through the 13, 15 feet away from the scene of the crime, whom nearly got lockjaw from stiffling the need for what seemd like time standing still, to just bust out laughing, who has a smoother swing than Payne's, says "Uncle Larry, can I keep the card?"
I had his azz until then and he'd only beaten me once before. And he plays from the front t's. For now.
13. THIR TEEEEEEN.
Happy Holidays.
Yesterday, I'm on 17, par 5, shot 51 on the front, I'm 6,6,5,4,3,4,3 on the back, +4.
Lose my drive WAY right, first banana all day and I ain't lifted a club since September. Just so happens there is room way right. This is a par 5 with a pond on the right up to the green, pond runs from the 150's in.
So, I'm looking at what I think is the far left edge of the pond and I hit an 8 to lay up and it is right on and I mean right on my target, a good, solid stroke. I even seen it bounce. Once.
Turns out that my target IS the very, VERY edge of the pond. Ball is right there, two feet in, same as being alongside the Titanic.
I phish it out and drop, cursing and lamenting how a smart play AND a good swing has gone awry. Oh well. At least I got my pro v1 back. I got a buck and a quarter to a front pin and a PW in my hand...and nothing but the Adriatic from here to there.
I been hitting decent short irons all day, no sweat.
...
...the divot, which probably showed up on radar it was so big, went as far as the ball. I'm like, where the flying hell did that come from??? That's not true. I said ####, not hell. That's not true. I didn't say it, I spewed it.
This is the point where all the control circuits went out and I'm in Tin Cup mode. I can MAKE a damn wedge over a freakin pond.
1 is off to the right, 2 is the 8 into the edge of the pond, 3, then this one 4, into the land of floating grass clumps, 5.
I drop the ball. EXACT same over the top yank, 6 and 7.
I drop the ball. EXACT same over the top yank, only harder, 8 and 9.
I drop the ball and swing so hard that #10 actually gets past the divot and lands on terra firmer, only because it's 20 yards right of the green and we've actually run out of pond by 18 tee.
So, a nice pitch to 8 feet, 11.
Slide right 12, tap in....13.
18 is a rope down the left side, a sky high 8...because I hit 8 so well, falls off a bit, front right, a pitch and a putt, 4.
My nephew, 13, whom I got new clubs for Christmas, whom sat in the cart in utter silence through the 13, 15 feet away from the scene of the crime, whom nearly got lockjaw from stiffling the need for what seemd like time standing still, to just bust out laughing, who has a smoother swing than Payne's, says "Uncle Larry, can I keep the card?"
I had his azz until then and he'd only beaten me once before. And he plays from the front t's. For now.
13. THIR TEEEEEEN.
Happy Holidays.
Thanks, I needed that! See you in the spring! 
I wonder if your nephew is going to frame the scorecard. 
