Pete
Repete
Larry Gude judged sports are for weenies” award - Sasha Cohen, Ice Skating
She is hot, she is graceful, she is fluid, she has excellent athletic ability, she won the silver medal in Ladies Ice skating. Sasha “Look at what she can do with her legs
” Cohen is everything an ice skater is supposed to be. Under unbelievable hype she won the silver medal, finishing just behind to Japan’s Shizuka Arakawa who did a magnificent job and just ahead of Russia’s Irena Slutskaya. A feat worthy of praise.
Cohen who was leading going into the free skate portion had a reputation of buckling at the end, and that’s just what she did. The pressure was too great. In her free skate she fell twice. While the rest of her performance was excellent the fact remains she fell twice in the first 2 minutes performing moves she has done thousands of times. Arakawa performed flawlessly and surged into the lead.
It was left to the Russian. 27 years old, probably in her last Olympics, after battling back from a circulatory disorder that had her sidelined, sick mother, and all the other stuff that makes those stories good. She couldn’t do it either and fell once in her free skate. Bronze medal.
How is it that in the Olympics, the premier athletic spectacle, the pinnacle of perfection that the Silver and Bronze medalists in Ladies skating got ice burns on their asses and still medaled? How did Cohen win the Silver when she fell twice when the Russian only fell once? Is falling down not a horrible thing anymore? In my mind neither Cohen nor Slutskaya should have medaled, 4th and 5th maybe but allowed those who performed flawlessly to ascend to the podium. At the very least Slutskaya should have finished ahead of Cohen. Perhaps the judges bought into the hype as well.
“Radical Dude” award –Tie- Shawn White / Daniel Kass / Hannah Teeter / Gretchen Blieler, US Snowboard team
How can you not like these kids. Now snow boarding has all grown up and these kids are not the same ski bums annoying the crap out of people on the ski slopes performing radical tricks. It was refreshing to see youthful ambition , down to earth exuberance and all out desire. Gold and silver winners in the Mens and womens half pipe.
I feel bad for Daniel Kass. Without a cool nickname like “Flying Tomato” or being cute and giggly like Teeter and Blieler he came in and performed, won and now his name is somewhat forgotten. No Daytona 500 Flag waving, no Jay Leno, he just took his medal home.
On another note I suspect US dominance in snowboarding is over. It had been an Olympic sport now twice and the European boarders will catch up and make it harder for the US to sweep.
“Goaty Goat goat goat” award – Bode Miller, Bode Millerville
Bode Miller
The self proclaimed granola cruncher, heavily favored to win several medals, ranked #1 in the world in several events, wins NOTHING.
First we have Bode and Mike Wallace on 60 minutes doing a 20 minute suckfest back patting segment about how laid back Bode is. Bode in such an introspective soul, Bode the lone wolf, Bode is unmoved, Bode the deep thinker, Bode the straight talker, Bode the unashamed. He ski’s hung over after partying all night before a race. He just doesn’t care. It is a hobby and he scoffs at money and actually loves being destitute. As soon as his comments about competing drunk gets criticism, Mr. Unashamed, unapologetic, straight talker issues an apology via his PR people.
Also Bode claims to hate celebrity, notoriety, fame YET, he posed for 2 magazine covers, did a 60 minutes segment is the star of the askbode.com TV ads. Strange behavior for someone who does not want fame.
So Bode, awash in hype shows up to Turin with his RV and does shiatty by day parties by night. He didn’t even come close. He also showed no desire, no dedication or no focus. For example he only spent 30 minutes looking over the Super G course and studying the gate placement. When questioned on his dismal performance by Brokaw Bode, again unapologetically doesn’t care. Doesn’t care about medals, doesn’t care about expectations, doesn’t care about the team. Expectations of him doing well were “other peoples” expectations not his. “I had fun, I made the most of my experience” Bode says. Well Bode, they have tequila in the US, and hot chics are a dime a dozen when you are a celebrity like you so go to effing bed and prepare for the race, party later you selfish schmuck.
Bob Costas said it best the other night. “If Bode keeps insisting he doesn’t care, then people are just going to stop caring about him.”
Now Costas is being lambasted for not genuflecting to Bode and smooching his butt crack like the rest of the American media.
“Thighs of steel” award – Cindy Klassen of Canada, Speed skating
High speed cutie pie from out neighboring country to the north. She is a speed skater with thighs that are enormous (the good way). Her 3 medals made her Canada’s most highly decorated athlete. Excellent personal demeanor, humility and happy. Wonder if she is married?
“I am not on steroids; please pass the bale of hay” award To all the jackasses who take drugs, steroids, blood doping and have caused the Olympics to be scrutinized.
“Total Insanity” award – 5000 meter short track relay Team USA
If you have never seen this race you must. It is scary, exciting and looks like total chaos on ice. 4 teams of 3 members each race on a short oval track. One member of each team makes 2 laps then passes off to another member of the team. The reliving skater skates around the inside matching speed at the last moment and then skate out in front of their racer. The racer shoves his relief by the ass trying to push him ahead of the other racer. The racer then hauls ass while the relived skater goes into the middle and continues pacing the field awaiting his turn again. Multiple this madness X4.
“Look at me! Look at me! Oh Shiat!” award Lindsay Jacobellis , US snowboard team You know Lindsay, the curly haired hottie chic who is in the VISA check card commercials? There is Lindsay about to enter the gate, looking all dejected, anxiety ridden over a snowboard race, her coach trying to inspire her, “Lindsay, imagine your VISA check card was stolen!” Lindsay smiles and is now inspired. You know the one?
Well I wonder is she was thinking about her VISA check card when she was beating the snot out of the second place racer in the downhill final cruising to a sure gold medal. Jacobellis ahead by a mile within sight of the finish, decides to “showboat” a little. On the last jump she decides to kick her feet, reach behind and grab her board, just being flashy. Welllllllllllllllll the best laid plans of mice and snowboarders do go wrong. She landed wrong, lost control and in the process of saving it, got passed. she became second place when her opponent steadily and dutifully snow boarded right passed her.
In the words of the immortal breakfast cereal commercial “trick are for kids” Being flashy might be fine in the “Sugar Loaf invitational snow board expo” but NOT in the final of an Olympic event. You have to wonder.
“You done good”
award – Turin
What can you say? Huge undertaking, flawless execution. Not a single security burp or controversy, other than a midnight raid on the Austrian ski team.. They even were accommodating of bad weather modifying the courses due to fog, making tons of snow.
“Peekabo Street grow the eff up” award – Julia Mancuso, US Ski team After screwing around and not coming close in her firsts races Mancuso was lashed on national TV for being an airhead by a former US Gold Medalist Skier Peekabo Street. Julie Mancuso ditched the Tiara she typically wore skiing the slalom, put on a helmet, focused and hey you know what? She friggin won!
“Bode who?” award. – Ted Ligety, US Ski team
Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode ; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode
Enter Ted Ligety, overshadowed and not mentioned, GOLD FRIGGIN MEDAL! Bode Miller does not finish.
Did Tom Brokaw interview Ted Ligety, the Olympic Gold Medalist? NO! Who did he interview? Bode
“Talk the talk-walk the walk” award - Joey Cheek, speed skating
Donated the medal bonus money ($40K) to Sudan Childrens relief charity. Nuff said.
“OMG what a hottie” award – Tanith Belbin, Ice dancing
Tanith Belbin is the chic portion of the ice dancing duo of Belbin /Agusto. The day after their silver medal performance her name topped Yahoo images searches and increased 3,000% the next day. Seems like a bunch of dudes watched after all. And she didn’t have to show nipple either.
“Quit acting like effing babies you are embarrassing us” award – Chad Hendrick / Shani Davis
These two asshats open feud threatened to overshadow the true accomplishments of the rest of the athletes. Stomping out of press conferences, refusing to shake hands, generally being tools. Shani Davis was a putz for not competing in the relay race but Hendricks was not the coach and acted like a baby.
“I won 3 medals, you may have the last word” award – Chad Hendrick
Hendrick 3 medals, Davis 2. In the end Hendrick can thumb his nose at Davis all he wants.
She is hot, she is graceful, she is fluid, she has excellent athletic ability, she won the silver medal in Ladies Ice skating. Sasha “Look at what she can do with her legs
” Cohen is everything an ice skater is supposed to be. Under unbelievable hype she won the silver medal, finishing just behind to Japan’s Shizuka Arakawa who did a magnificent job and just ahead of Russia’s Irena Slutskaya. A feat worthy of praise.Cohen who was leading going into the free skate portion had a reputation of buckling at the end, and that’s just what she did. The pressure was too great. In her free skate she fell twice. While the rest of her performance was excellent the fact remains she fell twice in the first 2 minutes performing moves she has done thousands of times. Arakawa performed flawlessly and surged into the lead.
It was left to the Russian. 27 years old, probably in her last Olympics, after battling back from a circulatory disorder that had her sidelined, sick mother, and all the other stuff that makes those stories good. She couldn’t do it either and fell once in her free skate. Bronze medal.
How is it that in the Olympics, the premier athletic spectacle, the pinnacle of perfection that the Silver and Bronze medalists in Ladies skating got ice burns on their asses and still medaled? How did Cohen win the Silver when she fell twice when the Russian only fell once? Is falling down not a horrible thing anymore? In my mind neither Cohen nor Slutskaya should have medaled, 4th and 5th maybe but allowed those who performed flawlessly to ascend to the podium. At the very least Slutskaya should have finished ahead of Cohen. Perhaps the judges bought into the hype as well.
“Radical Dude” award –Tie- Shawn White / Daniel Kass / Hannah Teeter / Gretchen Blieler, US Snowboard team
How can you not like these kids. Now snow boarding has all grown up and these kids are not the same ski bums annoying the crap out of people on the ski slopes performing radical tricks. It was refreshing to see youthful ambition , down to earth exuberance and all out desire. Gold and silver winners in the Mens and womens half pipe.
I feel bad for Daniel Kass. Without a cool nickname like “Flying Tomato” or being cute and giggly like Teeter and Blieler he came in and performed, won and now his name is somewhat forgotten. No Daytona 500 Flag waving, no Jay Leno, he just took his medal home.
On another note I suspect US dominance in snowboarding is over. It had been an Olympic sport now twice and the European boarders will catch up and make it harder for the US to sweep.
“Goaty Goat goat goat” award – Bode Miller, Bode Millerville
Bode Miller
The self proclaimed granola cruncher, heavily favored to win several medals, ranked #1 in the world in several events, wins NOTHING.First we have Bode and Mike Wallace on 60 minutes doing a 20 minute suckfest back patting segment about how laid back Bode is. Bode in such an introspective soul, Bode the lone wolf, Bode is unmoved, Bode the deep thinker, Bode the straight talker, Bode the unashamed. He ski’s hung over after partying all night before a race. He just doesn’t care. It is a hobby and he scoffs at money and actually loves being destitute. As soon as his comments about competing drunk gets criticism, Mr. Unashamed, unapologetic, straight talker issues an apology via his PR people.
Also Bode claims to hate celebrity, notoriety, fame YET, he posed for 2 magazine covers, did a 60 minutes segment is the star of the askbode.com TV ads. Strange behavior for someone who does not want fame.
So Bode, awash in hype shows up to Turin with his RV and does shiatty by day parties by night. He didn’t even come close. He also showed no desire, no dedication or no focus. For example he only spent 30 minutes looking over the Super G course and studying the gate placement. When questioned on his dismal performance by Brokaw Bode, again unapologetically doesn’t care. Doesn’t care about medals, doesn’t care about expectations, doesn’t care about the team. Expectations of him doing well were “other peoples” expectations not his. “I had fun, I made the most of my experience” Bode says. Well Bode, they have tequila in the US, and hot chics are a dime a dozen when you are a celebrity like you so go to effing bed and prepare for the race, party later you selfish schmuck.
Bob Costas said it best the other night. “If Bode keeps insisting he doesn’t care, then people are just going to stop caring about him.”
Now Costas is being lambasted for not genuflecting to Bode and smooching his butt crack like the rest of the American media.
“Thighs of steel” award – Cindy Klassen of Canada, Speed skating
High speed cutie pie from out neighboring country to the north. She is a speed skater with thighs that are enormous (the good way). Her 3 medals made her Canada’s most highly decorated athlete. Excellent personal demeanor, humility and happy. Wonder if she is married?
“I am not on steroids; please pass the bale of hay” award To all the jackasses who take drugs, steroids, blood doping and have caused the Olympics to be scrutinized.
“Total Insanity” award – 5000 meter short track relay Team USA
If you have never seen this race you must. It is scary, exciting and looks like total chaos on ice. 4 teams of 3 members each race on a short oval track. One member of each team makes 2 laps then passes off to another member of the team. The reliving skater skates around the inside matching speed at the last moment and then skate out in front of their racer. The racer shoves his relief by the ass trying to push him ahead of the other racer. The racer then hauls ass while the relived skater goes into the middle and continues pacing the field awaiting his turn again. Multiple this madness X4.
“Look at me! Look at me! Oh Shiat!” award Lindsay Jacobellis , US snowboard team You know Lindsay, the curly haired hottie chic who is in the VISA check card commercials? There is Lindsay about to enter the gate, looking all dejected, anxiety ridden over a snowboard race, her coach trying to inspire her, “Lindsay, imagine your VISA check card was stolen!” Lindsay smiles and is now inspired. You know the one?
Well I wonder is she was thinking about her VISA check card when she was beating the snot out of the second place racer in the downhill final cruising to a sure gold medal. Jacobellis ahead by a mile within sight of the finish, decides to “showboat” a little. On the last jump she decides to kick her feet, reach behind and grab her board, just being flashy. Welllllllllllllllll the best laid plans of mice and snowboarders do go wrong. She landed wrong, lost control and in the process of saving it, got passed. she became second place when her opponent steadily and dutifully snow boarded right passed her.
In the words of the immortal breakfast cereal commercial “trick are for kids” Being flashy might be fine in the “Sugar Loaf invitational snow board expo” but NOT in the final of an Olympic event. You have to wonder.
“You done good”
award – TurinWhat can you say? Huge undertaking, flawless execution. Not a single security burp or controversy, other than a midnight raid on the Austrian ski team.. They even were accommodating of bad weather modifying the courses due to fog, making tons of snow.
“Peekabo Street grow the eff up” award – Julia Mancuso, US Ski team After screwing around and not coming close in her firsts races Mancuso was lashed on national TV for being an airhead by a former US Gold Medalist Skier Peekabo Street. Julie Mancuso ditched the Tiara she typically wore skiing the slalom, put on a helmet, focused and hey you know what? She friggin won!
“Bode who?” award. – Ted Ligety, US Ski team
Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode ; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode; Bode is the greatest skier, Bode is going to win everything, Bode Bode Bode
Enter Ted Ligety, overshadowed and not mentioned, GOLD FRIGGIN MEDAL! Bode Miller does not finish.
Did Tom Brokaw interview Ted Ligety, the Olympic Gold Medalist? NO! Who did he interview? Bode
“Talk the talk-walk the walk” award - Joey Cheek, speed skating
Donated the medal bonus money ($40K) to Sudan Childrens relief charity. Nuff said.
“OMG what a hottie” award – Tanith Belbin, Ice dancing
Tanith Belbin is the chic portion of the ice dancing duo of Belbin /Agusto. The day after their silver medal performance her name topped Yahoo images searches and increased 3,000% the next day. Seems like a bunch of dudes watched after all. And she didn’t have to show nipple either.
“Quit acting like effing babies you are embarrassing us” award – Chad Hendrick / Shani Davis
These two asshats open feud threatened to overshadow the true accomplishments of the rest of the athletes. Stomping out of press conferences, refusing to shake hands, generally being tools. Shani Davis was a putz for not competing in the relay race but Hendricks was not the coach and acted like a baby.
“I won 3 medals, you may have the last word” award – Chad Hendrick
Hendrick 3 medals, Davis 2. In the end Hendrick can thumb his nose at Davis all he wants.
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"Goaty, goat, goat, goat" 
Very cute!