Advice I have been given

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
:lol: But, do you talk to anyone in the store? I must be weird - I talk to people all the time!

FTR, men do ask me questions in the grocery store - though no one has actually asked me for my number. I will have to see what I can do about encouraging that. When it happens, I will report back. :killingme
Peopleing is just too much sometimes. 😂
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
@BernieP
My commentary and questions: :biggrin:

1. Are these friends of yours male or female? What age are they? What stage of life are they in? Do they have full lives or are they watching life go by?

2. By "having a life" -I mean are they fulfilled? Are they happy people and happy with their lives? There are all sorts of types of "having a life". They could have a very full life being married w/ adult children, grandchildren - working or retired. But if they are grumpy and are not fulfilled people in whatever stage of life they are in - they're not likely to give really good advice. In MY opinion.

I have friends who span DECADES in age. Seriously. My 5 nieces and nephews (blood relatives and my BFF's children who are like blood relatives) who are all in their late 20's - to mid 30's. They are as close to me as my own kids, because I've known them all their lives. They're also adults and very good friends to and with me, as well. NONE of them would give me the advice to go to a Senior Center to meet people. :lol:

But I also have friends in their 40's and 50's (AND 60'sand 70's!!) - both male & female - who would never recommend my going to a senior center to meet people. There's nothing wrong with a "Senior Center" if that's the age range you're in and the level of activity you're looking for. I guess if you live in a Senior Community like Asbury - they have their groups of people who go and do a lot of things together. They are very vital and active people who could range in ages from 50 to 70's/80's. But the words "Senior Center" makes me think of the 3 centers that Calvert County has in the north, south and center of the county where people who can't get out in the community on their own would go for activities. I would consider a suggestion that I attend one of those to meet people very much an insult. :lol:

3. Anyhoo - back to the first suggestion of your friends to "try meeting less intimating women". What is an "intimidating" woman"?! 🤔

4. Don't go to the cemetery - you're not ready for that, yet. :lol:

p.s. I was at a cemetery last week. The woman for whom I was there - SHE could have been called "an intimidating woman". She was strong woman, having lived through a lot of things in her 83 years of life. She was strong-willed, very opinionated, with strong morals, strong values. She was a woman whom many people respected and loved. She loved and cherished all of her family and friends. She was a woman who lived her life to the fullest she could possibly live. She was bound & determined to get every last ounce of life ON HER TERMS. And she did.
  1. Both male and female. They range in age from low 30's to my age.
  2. All are successful, even the recently retired grandmother who babysits her 18 month old holy terror
  3. That actually came from my oldest friend, a female. I have asked her about it. I think she regrets that word. I took it as make sure you stay in your "group" / class of people. Which ends up creating a check list of my failures in life (multiple degrees, makes a damn good living, outside of work has had several papers (academic) published, graduated with high honors, several awards, Eagle Scout, musician, athlete.
So what is less intimidating to someone who has spoken to HAC staffers, briefed flag officers, etc. Do I look like I am intimidated?

What she was saying is I am not in the "physically attractive" group. That was clear even before the extra pounds started to get me - in large part to tearing up knees playing basketball and having children.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
What she was saying is I am not in the "physically attractive" group. That was clear even before the extra pounds started to get me - in large part to tearing up knees playing basketball and having children.
Your friend might be surprised at how dramatically physical appearance can change as you get to know someone. That hot guy opens his mouth and becomes downright homely, and the so-so guy becomes wildly attractive the more you know him.

Wear clean underwear and you should be fine.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
  1. Both male and female. They range in age from low 30's to my age.
  2. All are successful, even the recently retired grandmother who babysits her 18 month old holy terror
  3. That actually came from my oldest friend, a female. I have asked her about it. I think she regrets that word. I took it as make sure you stay in your "group" / class of people. Which ends up creating a check list of my failures in life (multiple degrees, makes a damn good living, outside of work has had several papers (academic) published, graduated with high honors, several awards, Eagle Scout, musician, athlete.
So what is less intimidating to someone who has spoken to HAC staffers, briefed flag officers, etc. Do I look like I am intimidated?

What she was saying is I am not in the "physically attractive" group. That was clear even before the extra pounds started to get me - in large part to tearing up knees playing basketball and having children.
I don't know how old you are - but I'm 61. Getting back into meeting people again wasn't easy, but it sure beat the alternative. I had to put my money where my mouth is - one of my FAVORITE Maya Angelou quotes is: "Have courage to trust love one more time. And ALWAYS one more time."

Think about that quote! It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and be vulnerable enough to meet and connect.

Give yourself a break, Bernie! Get out and meet peeps - whereever you can. :huggy:
 

UglyBear

Well-Known Member
That and, maybe you should go to the senior center to meet people.
Since the invention of the little blue pill, there’s more sex going on in the senior centers than at porn studios — and because those randy old farts don’t care anymore and don’t use protection, senior citizens are the group with the highest growth of STDs.

So, take the advice to “go to senior center” as “go there and screw yourself silly”? ;)
 

PrchJrkr

Long Haired Country Boy
PREMO Member
Ad Free Experience
Patron
Sometimes opportunities are right under our noses and we overlook them as something else. No real advice for you BernieP, just encouragement. I've reconnected with someone from my past and although it hasn't turned into romance yet, I see her warming to the idea every time we see each other. She's besties with my SIL, so that's a little weird, but we shall see what happens.
 

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Sometimes opportunities are right under our noses and we overlook them as something else. No real advice for you BernieP, just encouragement. I've reconnected with someone from my past and although it hasn't turned into romance yet, I see her warming to the idea every time we see each other. She's besties with my SIL, so that's a little weird, but we shall see what happens.
:eyebrow:
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
Since the invention of the little blue pill, there’s more sex going on in the senior centers than at porn studios — and because those randy old farts don’t care anymore and don’t use protection, senior citizens are the group with the highest growth of STDs.

So, take the advice to “go to senior center” as “go there and screw yourself silly”? ;)
I work full time, it's not an option
 
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