Another annoyance

[vraiblonde]

My grandson's other grandmother is a very nice person, and they're super wealthy. She devotes a good bit of her life to our grandson, taking him on fancy vacations, sending him to expensive camps when he's visiting, flying him to and from one of her homes several times a year, etc. I don't begrudge her this time with him, and I'm kind of jealous but not really. Or maybe it's envious - what's the one where you wish you could do it, but aren't pissed that they're doing it? That one.

I have a good relationship with my grandson, but it's no secret that he likes her better. This doesn't bother me. Hell, *I* like her better. What does bother me is that I feel like she one-ups me.

There's very little I can do with/for him that she hasn't beat me to. She outfits him with clothes several times a year; he expresses a want for something and she sends it to him. At Christmas I ask him what he wants, and when he tells me something I say, "Now, don't tell Nana the same thing!" When he was 6 I gave him a kid's Kindle; she gave him a top of the line iPad. Like that. (And PS, he has a monthly game allowance that she pays for.)

The latest is that we took him to the little dude ranch a few weeks ago and had a blast. So she flew him out to Jackson, WY where they're staying in a big house, he's going to adventure camp every day and indulging his new horse skills. AND she made a video of him talking at length about how amazing it is, put it on her FB, and tagged me to make sure I'd see it.



I don't like feeling like we're in a competition. That's not my way and it's not good for the kid. I just wish she'd have done something with him other than top my dude ranch.

Anyway, I'm just venting. This isn't a problem and there's no solution. As soon as I hit Submit I'll forget about it and move on with my thing. The kid and I are good and that's all that counts.

He does need a new iPad because the one he has now that is rarely out of his hands is about shot. So maybe I should send him some cheapo tablet thingie so she'll send him a new iPad?

 

[RoseRed]

This is why I don't like most people.

 

[Kyle]

I dont' get that kind of crap.

When the nephews were growing up, we, their parents, grandmother, aunts and uncles, collaborated so we didn't have issues.

They got the things they needed and "some" of the things they wanted.

They did have one aunt that tended to go overboard though.

Have you discussed the oneupsmanship issue with his parent?

 

[mAlice]

The best gift a child can receive is...time. Give him your time. Read, play games, go for walks, explore, discover. Be active, get away from the electronics. One day he'll wake up and realize that time spent with loved ones is much better than material things.

 

[MiddleGround]

The best gift a child can receive is...time. Give him your time. Read, play games, go for walks, explore, discover. Be active, get away from the electronics. One day he'll wake up and realize that time spent with loved ones is much better than material things.

Exactly!!

When he grows up, he won't remember the iPads, dude ranches, or "things." He is gonna remember the memories of good times spent with you.

 

[GURPS]

This is why I don't like most people.

 

[luvmygdaughters]

My granddaughters are 18 & 14. They dont come over for the weekends as much as they used to, but, when we all get together, they dont talk about the clothes, gadgets, etc. that I've bought for them over the years. They talk about the time we made the pool "carwash", the time we found a turtle in the backyard, the time we all camped out in the living room because we watched a scary movie. They talk about the rootbeer floats I made them in huge frozen beer mugs, the cupcakes we baked that looked like spiders for the woods walk, etc. Your grandson is still young, but, believe me, he will remember what fun things you did together and the time spent with you, more than he'll remember what was bought for him.

 

[RoseRed]

My granddaughters are 18 & 14. They dont come over for the weekends as much as they used to, but, when we all get together, they dont talk about the clothes, gadgets, etc. that I've bought for them over the years. They talk about the time we made the pool "carwash", the time we found a turtle in the backyard, the time we all camped out in the living room because we watched a scary movie. They talk about the rootbeer floats I made them in huge frozen beer mugs, the cupcakes we baked that looked like spiders for the woods walk, etc. Your grandson is still young, but, believe me, he will remember what fun things you did together and the time spent with you, more than he'll remember what was bought for him.

I am fortunate to still have one grandmother left, she is 96, and pretty sharp still. My Uncle sends pictures and videos and I talk to her every few weeks. She has really loosened up from when I was a kid. We were to be seen and not heard. Now it's all jokes and who can finish the wine.

I do have fond memories of my other two grandmothers, one died at 60 - way too soon. The other lived long enough to meet her first great-grand.

Your root beer float story reminds me of my grandmother, she used to give is the ice cream bars with the chocolate coating. We had to eat that off before dunking it into our soda. Coke for me, root beer for sistard.

 

[Gilligan]

I don't have any grandkids..my 20s and 30s kids are all quite busy with careers, grad school, etc. But...my oldest two (daughters) gave me a quart Mason jar full of "memories" for Father's Day one year. Full of little strips of colored paper, each with one of their memories written on it. Not a single one of them yet has mentioned anything "material"..no mention of presents or things like that. I pull them out sparingly...but heck, I'll treat myself to one now:

"When [older daughter] was making a mess with fish scales until you walked up in your Sunday best and scaled the fish without getting even a scale on you".

That is the stuff they remember.

 

[luvmygdaughters]

I am fortunate to still have one grandmother left, she is 96, and pretty sharp still. My Uncle sends pictures and videos and I talk to her every few weeks. She has really loosened up from when I was a kid. We were to be seen and not heard. Now it's all jokes and who can finish the wine.

I do have fond memories of my other two grandmothers, one died at 60 - way too soon. The other lived long enough to meet her first great-grand.

Your root beer float story reminds me of my grandmother, she used to give is the ice cream bars with the chocolate coating. We had to eat that off before dunking it into our soda. Coke for me, root beer for sistard.

 

[RoseRed]

I don't have any grandkids..my 20s and 30s kids are all quite busy with careers, grad school, etc. But...my oldest two (daughters) gave me a quart Mason jar full of "memories" for Father's Day one year. Full of little strips of colored paper, each with one of their memories written on it. Not a single one of them yet has mentioned anything "material"..no mention of presents or things like that. I pull them out sparingly...but heck, I'll treat myself to one now:

"When [older daughter] was making a mess with fish scales until you walked up in your Sunday best and scaled the fish without getting even a scale on you".

That is the stuff they remember.

That's awesome!

 

[frequentflier]

Neither of my grandmothers (or grandfathers, for that matter) were loving or nurturing. I have no fond memories of any of them.


Your Grandson will remember the LOVE you gave him, the fun you had, the stupid words and funny faces you made up together, etc. Give him good memories and he will carry them with him forever.

 

[vraiblonde]

My consolation, not that I really need one, is that when he gets back from Nana's he is insufferable and my daughter says it takes a couple weeks for him to get back to reality. When he comes back from being with me, he's good to go.

That's actually my real concern: that all this overindulgence will turn him into a jerk (like it did with his father). I know she means well - she really does, I'm not just saying that; she IS a nice person - but her own son has some adulting issues because he wasn't taught to work and achieve on his own, nor was he taught to be respectful of others. I just don't want Riggs to grow up to be a jerk.

I also don't want to make it sound like all she ever does is throw presents and stuff at him. She reads to him, bakes with him, and does spend quality time with him. Like I said, she's not an ahole, she's great.

 

[luvmygdaughters]

I don't have any grandkids..my 20s and 30s kids are all quite busy with careers, grad school, etc. But...my oldest two (daughters) gave me a quart Mason jar full of "memories" for Father's Day one year. Full of little strips of colored paper, each with one of their memories written on it. Not a single one of them yet has mentioned anything "material"..no mention of presents or things like that. I pull them out sparingly...but heck, I'll treat myself to one now:

"When [older daughter] was making a mess with fish scales until you walked up in your Sunday best and scaled the fish without getting even a scale on you".

That is the stuff they remember.

Thats a great gift idea!! My two granddaughters are from my oldest daughter. My youngest daughter was more career focused and remains that way today. However, I do have a delightful, adorable, 4-legged grandson from her!!

 

[Bann]

My grandson's other grandmother is a very nice person, and they're super wealthy. She devotes a good bit of her life to our grandson, taking him on fancy vacations, sending him to expensive camps when he's visiting, flying him to and from one of her homes several times a year, etc. I don't begrudge her this time with him, and I'm kind of jealous but not really. Or maybe it's envious - what's the one where you wish you could do it, but aren't pissed that they're doing it? That one.

I have a good relationship with my grandson, but it's no secret that he likes her better. This doesn't bother me. Hell, *I* like her better. What does bother me is that I feel like she one-ups me.

There's very little I can do with/for him that she hasn't beat me to. She outfits him with clothes several times a year; he expresses a want for something and she sends it to him. At Christmas I ask him what he wants, and when he tells me something I say, "Now, don't tell Nana the same thing!" When he was 6 I gave him a kid's Kindle; she gave him a top of the line iPad. Like that. (And PS, he has a monthly game allowance that she pays for.)

The latest is that we took him to the little dude ranch a few weeks ago and had a blast. So she flew him out to Jackson, WY where they're staying in a big house, he's going to adventure camp every day and indulging his new horse skills. AND she made a video of him talking at length about how amazing it is, put it on her FB, and tagged me to make sure I'd see it.



I don't like feeling like we're in a competition. That's not my way and it's not good for the kid. I just wish she'd have done something with him other than top my dude ranch.

Anyway, I'm just venting. This isn't a problem and there's no solution. As soon as I hit Submit I'll forget about it and move on with my thing. The kid and I are good and that's all that counts.

He does need a new iPad because the one he has now that is rarely out of his hands is about shot. So maybe I should send him some cheapo tablet thingie so she'll send him a new iPad?

Brilliant! Do it, just for the grins.

I get what you mean, tho. There really isn't anything you could do (or should do, really...because it's not the best way for kids to be raised, in my never to be humble opinion!). I guess when he is older he will catch on. Especially when Nana eventually departs from this earth and that "situation" of him of never ending wanting for anything stops.

 

[Bann]

The best gift a child can receive is...time. Give him your time. Read, play games, go for walks, explore, discover. Be active, get away from the electronics. One day he'll wake up and realize that time spent with loved ones is much better than material things.

 

[Bann]

I don't have any grandkids..my 20s and 30s kids are all quite busy with careers, grad school, etc. But...my oldest two (daughters) gave me a quart Mason jar full of "memories" for Father's Day one year. Full of little strips of colored paper, each with one of their memories written on it. Not a single one of them yet has mentioned anything "material"..no mention of presents or things like that. I pull them out sparingly...but heck, I'll treat myself to one now:

"When [older daughter] was making a mess with fish scales until you walked up in your Sunday best and scaled the fish without getting even a scale on you".

That is the stuff they remember.

That's an awesome gift (and memory!)

 

[Bann]

My consolation, not that I really need one, is that when he gets back from Nana's he is insufferable and my daughter says it takes a couple weeks for him to get back to reality. When he comes back from being with me, he's good to go.

That's actually my real concern: that all this overindulgence will turn him into a jerk (like it did with his father). I know she means well - she really does, I'm not just saying that; she IS a nice person - but her own son has some adulting issues because he wasn't taught to work and achieve on his own, nor was he taught to be respectful of others. I just don't want Riggs to grow up to be a jerk.

I also don't want to make it sound like all she ever does is throw presents and stuff at him. She reads to him, bakes with him, and does spend quality time with him. Like I said, she's not an ahole, she's great.

He will end up realizing what's what when he's older - I've no doubt your daughter's influence and upbringing will see to that!

 

[Gilligan]

That's an awesome gift (and memory!)

Thing is..I don't quite know what to think about the fact that they've remembered so many things that I cannot recall... Every strip I pull brings a huge smile to my face, but danged if I remember half of them.

 

[black dog]

My son has a wealthy grandma and a average income grandma, one showered him with huge carry around money and presents that were unnecessary but not alot of time was spent with him even though she just lives in Annapolis.
His average grandma never missed much with him, starting with being at the hospital the morning he was born, birthdays, all holidays, school functions and so on until he enlisted in the Marines. She gave him time, it's worth much more than a video subscription.
The one he wrote to and called during basic, is the one that spent time with him.