Originally posted by Pete
I am sure Lucy would find all kinds of fault with my method but hey, who says we all have to live by some book?
Your method being to beat the crap out of the condecending SOB? Sounds good to me.
Seriously though, every family has got to have someone in it like this. I know I have one of these. In my case and in most cases, the offensive person is trying to make up for their own inadequecies.
In the case of my relative, she was unable to have children, whereas I popped them out whenever I choosed to do so. I'll spare you the details, but it makes Tonio's brother look like a saint.
As difficult as this is for you, Tonio, it is much worse for your wife. You have known your brother your entire life, you tend to overlook certain things because, "that just the way he is." The fact that you ARE noticing the jibes, means there are most likely ten small slights for every one you DO see.
Unfortunately, there is little you can do. You can't solve your brother's problem. And make no mistake, it is HIS problem. Avoid the situation when you can. You don't want to subject your wife and children to nastiness. The fact that your brother denied telling that joke means he realizes that he was wrong. Freely socialize with your more civil relatives and find a reason to leave when your brother arrives. He'll get the message and so will everyone else.
Ultimately it is on your brother and his wife to come to terms with their real issue, whatever that may be. Like my relative and her infertility. In her case, she had massive amounts of medical intervention and managed to have two (extremely spoiled) children. After that, she became quite civil and on occasion even pleasant to be around.
