ADHD encouragement
I just wanted to add my two cents to your discussion. ADHD runs in my husband's family, so we've got stories from multiple families and multiple generations about how it's been handled. Some of the stories are heart-wrenching. In the past, before medication and behavior modification, it seems the way to deal with these children was to beat them half to death and tell them they were stupid and worthless. I can tell you that strict dicipline and harsh punishment do not solve this problem, they only exacerbate the problem. So many of my husband's family members have ended up in dead end jobs or disasterous marriages or even in prison, and the pattern of ADHD has been clear in their lives, but was not yet a medically recognized problem. Most of these people were raised in disciplined, yet loving environments. Firm, but gentle dicipline is important, but is not enough alone for these children. Now that ADHD is a recognized problem with a medical solution, there is more hope for this family. And yet, old habits die hard. For example, my nephew was diagnosed very young with ADHD, but the "traditional" way of dealing with the problem in the family (strict discipline) won out and the family refused the doctor's recommendation to try medication. After a traumatic childhood, my nephew ended up in trouble with the law repeatedly and was written off by the school, his community, and even his family as being below average and bad news. He is now in the military and is gradually overcoming his childhood difficulties. In his case, I strongly believe medication would have made a world of difference. Another nephew of mine was diagnosed recently with ADHD and put on medication. His behavior issues have literally disappeared, and he is a MUCH happier and more well-adjusted child than he was before his diagnosis. Alternately, however, when my son began having problems in school, I attempted to work with the school system first, but when the problems just escalated, I decided to try homeschooling before trying medication (not because I disagree with the use of medication, just because I wanted to see what was best in my situation for my child). My son, who was struggling and falling behind all the way through elementary school, is now in college at the age of sixteen and is an amazingly well-adjusted and secure young man. I credit the non-threatening atmosphere at home and the fact that we focused on the positive aspects of his gifts and personality while still honestly addressing his problems for this. You are right in saying that each family must find what works best for them. I do encourage you to keep looking for other options, though. Don't settle for "good enough." Perhaps you could try homeschooling your little one with the help of a local Christian co-op. Getting her over the "hump" of learning to read might go a long way toward academic success for her, and we all know that success breeds success. Anyway, I'll be praying for you. Lark
I just wanted to add my two cents to your discussion. ADHD runs in my husband's family, so we've got stories from multiple families and multiple generations about how it's been handled. Some of the stories are heart-wrenching. In the past, before medication and behavior modification, it seems the way to deal with these children was to beat them half to death and tell them they were stupid and worthless. I can tell you that strict dicipline and harsh punishment do not solve this problem, they only exacerbate the problem. So many of my husband's family members have ended up in dead end jobs or disasterous marriages or even in prison, and the pattern of ADHD has been clear in their lives, but was not yet a medically recognized problem. Most of these people were raised in disciplined, yet loving environments. Firm, but gentle dicipline is important, but is not enough alone for these children. Now that ADHD is a recognized problem with a medical solution, there is more hope for this family. And yet, old habits die hard. For example, my nephew was diagnosed very young with ADHD, but the "traditional" way of dealing with the problem in the family (strict discipline) won out and the family refused the doctor's recommendation to try medication. After a traumatic childhood, my nephew ended up in trouble with the law repeatedly and was written off by the school, his community, and even his family as being below average and bad news. He is now in the military and is gradually overcoming his childhood difficulties. In his case, I strongly believe medication would have made a world of difference. Another nephew of mine was diagnosed recently with ADHD and put on medication. His behavior issues have literally disappeared, and he is a MUCH happier and more well-adjusted child than he was before his diagnosis. Alternately, however, when my son began having problems in school, I attempted to work with the school system first, but when the problems just escalated, I decided to try homeschooling before trying medication (not because I disagree with the use of medication, just because I wanted to see what was best in my situation for my child). My son, who was struggling and falling behind all the way through elementary school, is now in college at the age of sixteen and is an amazingly well-adjusted and secure young man. I credit the non-threatening atmosphere at home and the fact that we focused on the positive aspects of his gifts and personality while still honestly addressing his problems for this. You are right in saying that each family must find what works best for them. I do encourage you to keep looking for other options, though. Don't settle for "good enough." Perhaps you could try homeschooling your little one with the help of a local Christian co-op. Getting her over the "hump" of learning to read might go a long way toward academic success for her, and we all know that success breeds success. Anyway, I'll be praying for you. Lark
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