Asking How Someone Died

[BadGirl]

Celebrated...I like to celebrate a person's life but if they offed themself, I sure as hell am not going to celebrate.

Depending on who it is, I would.

 

[Dye Tied]

Depending on who it is, I would.

Oh, I like how you think

 

[Larry Gude]

I removed this from the other thread. Wrong place to post it, and it could make the thread turn ugly. I don't want to do that.

Is it really okay to ask how someone died? If so, what should your relationship to that person be to expect an answer? I'm curious, because I can't bring myself to ask someone who has lost a loved one, how that person died.

If I offended ANYONE, I do apologize as I had and have NO intention of offending anyone by asking what is, to me, the very first question that comes to my mind when I learn someone has passed.

It has always bothered me, when reading obituaries, that they don't say one thing about the deceased in terms of their last moments of a life.

My question is ALWAYS 'what happened?'

 

[Larry Gude]

I would never dream of asking how the deceased died. There was some speculation, .

That is yet one of many reasons, besides simple curiosity, I would ask or want it known.

Obliterate speculation with the simple truth.

:shrug:

 

[Larry Gude]

Like the example I gave, or this. Just curious where you might draw the line. Apparently, you wouldn't. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just that I couldn't do it, and would have a problem with someone asking.

If you lose FB and I were to see you and you told me, I'd instantly ask "OMG. What happened?" You both know me. You know I would mean no offense and, in addition to curiosity, it would be, to me, a closure and, ideally, you'd have one hell of a story to tell!

But, now, knowing this, I would try not to ask out of respect for you.

 

[mAlice]

If you lose FB and I were to see you and you told me, I'd instantly ask "OMG. What happened?" You both know me. You know I would mean no offense and, in addition to curiosity, it would be, to me, a closure and, ideally, you'd have one hell of a story to tell!

But, now, knowing this, I would try not to ask out of respect for you.

 

[desertrat]

Never asked, always curious.

I had to leave my high school class page. I do Not want to hear about people I was friends with dying. Last one was a fun girl who I last saw at the senior ditch day having a great time. Riding a speed boat up the Colorado sitting on the front. Always nice to all.

 

[itsbob]

What kind of questions? What do you need to know other than the usual stuff? Boy/girl, length/weight, time of birth. New parents tend to put everything out there that anyone would want to know.

I always ask "How did that happen?" and hope for all the erotic details...

 

[vraiblonde]

Can we just get real for a second?

Wenchy was the queen of TMI. If she could, she would give us all the details - gory or not - on "what happened". We honor her by asking nosy questions and perhaps even speculating wildly. Those of us who actually knew her, not just exchanged PMs but knew her personally and for many years, know that she would be thrilled with the attention her death has received. That is not meant to dog her at all, it is simply the truth.

Granted, there are some truly private people in the world. She was not one of them, and I doubt she would be offended by people asking what happened. She would more likely be disappointed if no one did.

 

[Hank]

Can we just get real for a second?

Wenchy was the queen of TMI. If she could, she would give us all the details - gory or not - on "what happened". We honor her by asking nosy questions and perhaps even speculating wildly. Those of us who actually knew her, not just exchanged PMs but knew her personally and for many years, know that she would be thrilled with the attention her death has received. That is not meant to dog her at all, it is simply the truth.

Granted, there are some truly private people in the world. She was not one of them, and I doubt she would be offended by people asking what happened. She would more likely be disappointed if no one did.

And there you have it.... So, what happened?...

 

[kwillia]

Can we just get real for a second?

Wenchy was the queen of TMI. If she could, she would give us all the details - gory or not - on "what happened". We honor her by asking nosy questions and perhaps even speculating wildly. Those of us who actually knew her, not just exchanged PMs but knew her personally and for many years, know that she would be thrilled with the attention her death has received. That is not meant to dog her at all, it is simply the truth.

Granted, there are some truly private people in the world. She was not one of them, and I doubt she would be offended by people asking what happened. She would more likely be disappointed if no one did.

Well, see... the way I look at it is that Wenchy is dead so any respect of privacy is for her kids. Maybe they seriously don't want the casual acquaintances to know what her ailments were... if it is their decision to withold the details as was suggested by RR's post than I see no problem respecting the wishes of the living.

 

[DoWhat]

I bet everybody would want to know how I died when I do die.

Just ask my wife.

 

[Hank]

I bet everybody would want to know how I died when I do die.

Just ask my wife.

Death by Sammich

 

[kwillia]

I bet everybody would want to know how I died when I do die.

Just ask my wife.

Will do... we'll all probably be at the party, I mean wake with her anyway...

 

[DoWhat]

Well, see... the way I look at it is that Wenchy is dead so any respect of privacy is for her kids. Maybe they seriously don't want the casual acquaintances to know what her ailments were... if it is their decision to withold the details as was suggested by RR's post than I see no problem respecting the wishes of the living.

But aren't death certificates public info?
And don't they list cause of death?

 

[DoWhat]

Will do... we'll all probably be at the party, I mean wake with her anyway...

But she might get embarrassed if the cause of death was with me banging the hell out her.

You know, heart attack.

 

[DoWhat]

Death by Sammich

But she might get embarrassed if the cause of death was with me banging the hell out her.

You know, heart attack.

Must remember to eat sammich first.

 

[vraiblonde]

Well, see... the way I look at it is that Wenchy is dead so any respect of privacy is for her kids. Maybe they seriously don't want the casual acquaintances to know what her ailments were... if it is their decision to withold the details as was suggested by RR's post than I see no problem respecting the wishes of the living.

Her kids don't read this forum and people are gossiping about it anyway. But I get that they probably don't want details spewed on the intardwebz. I'm just saying what Wendy would have most likely wanted. She would consider it a PSA. Seriously.

And I'm going to be irreverent and say that it's too bad she couldn't have written her own obit. THAT would have been a great thread.

RIP, Wen.

 

[vraiblonde]

Will do... we'll all probably be at the party, I mean wake with her anyway...

...fighting over who called dibs...

 

[sockgirl77]

Can we just get real for a second?

Wenchy was the queen of TMI. If she could, she would give us all the details - gory or not - on "what happened". We honor her by asking nosy questions and perhaps even speculating wildly. Those of us who actually knew her, not just exchanged PMs but knew her personally and for many years, know that she would be thrilled with the attention her death has received. That is not meant to dog her at all, it is simply the truth.

Granted, there are some truly private people in the world. She was not one of them, and I doubt she would be offended by people asking what happened. She would more likely be disappointed if no one did.

Exactly.