Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane

desertrat

desertrat

0_0
Nickel said:
When I was little, three or four years old, I was flying with my parents. I had a window seat, and we were taxiing down the runway. I noticed another plane and screamed "We're going to crash!!!!". My parents were not amused. :lmao:
Click to expand...
I was in the middle seat once and leaned over to look out the window shortly after takeoff. The person by the window, who I knew, but shall not name had never flown before. Right at that time the plane banked and I got shoved back to my seat and told not to move any more. :killingme
 
G

Gwydion

New Member
I think this might be the phalange!
<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/cowling_small.jpg">

"And if you look out your left window you will see Rt. 5. Please note: Objects in passenger side window are FARTHER away than they appear"
<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/i564_small.jpg">

"The pilot of the plane to your right enjoyed his martinis. Fortunatly for you I hate martinis. I prefer Margaritas."

<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/mandarin.jpg">
 
desertrat

desertrat

0_0
Gwydion said:
I think this might be the phalange!
<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/cowling_small.jpg">

"And if you look out your left window you will see Rt. 5. Please note: Objects in passenger side window are FARTHER away than they appear"
<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/i564_small.jpg">

"The pilot of the plane to your right enjoyed his martinis. Fortunatly for you I hate martinis. I prefer Margaritas."

<img src="http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/graphics/mandarin.jpg">
Click to expand...
I'm not a pilot, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn
 
S

saddlemount

Mudslinger
Good timing on this, I just flew in from Dallas today!

True story: I was on a flight once and the pilot came on and did one of those narratives about what the passengers on the left side of the plane could see out their window. Then he says: "for those passengers seated on the right side of the aircraft, if you look across to your left you can see the passengers seated on the left side of the plane."

Smartass..
 
Dougstermd

Dougstermd

ORGASM DONOR
I was flying into Nas Norfolk on a little Chartered plane and the captain jumped up and threw his head set down came to the back of the plane and said " I am trying to see if the landing gear is down."
Unsafe gear warning light was lit. If the pilot had any experience he would have known you cannot see the landing gear out the window:smack:

we were greated by the Nas fire department
 
Vince

Vince

......
Gwydion said:
I was on a very small plane when I flew into the Bahamas from Florida. The plane was so small he didnt even use his speaker. He turned around a few times and said some pretty funny stuff.

I was about 10 or so and I remember one pretty clearly. Our pilot was a bahamian guy....with a real heavy accent. The co-pilot was a white guy from the states. The pilot got on and said soemthing like..."We are now entering the Bermuda Triangle. Over the past 50 years there has been no place in the world that has had as many unexpected crashes. There have been hundreds of people, boats and planes that have seemingly just disapeared as if they never existed.
Click to expand...
Flew in the Bermuda Triangle for 20 years and never had anything strange happen. :shrug:
 
Pete

Pete

Repete
Ladies and Gentlemen, if you look out the left side of the aircraft you will have a breathtaking view of Mount Etna and the steam coming from the summit is caused by volcanic activity. If you look out the right side of the aircraft you will have a breathtaking view of oil streaming down the engine nacelle. When the oil stops flowing it means the engine is empty and catastrophic turbine failure is imminent.
 
Mikeinsmd

Mikeinsmd

New Member
Vince said:
Flew in the Bermuda Triangle for 20 years and never had anything strange happen. :shrug:
Click to expand...
I still have that pic of you on the plane too....
 

Attachments

  • the_optimist.jpg
    the_optimist.jpg
    9.4 KB · Views: 50
Tonio

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
LordStanley said:
-Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?
-Bet, babe. Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drink side, run da' java.
-Hey lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some butter and draggin' through the garden
Click to expand...

From what I've read, the two actors improvised most of that dialogue at the request of the Zuckers. In relation to real jive, it was something like 10 percent real and 90 percent made up. Did you recognize the actress who played the jive translator?
 
Tonio

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
FireBrand said:
"Ward, don't you think that you were a little rough on the beaver last night? "
Click to expand...

Here's one I haven't heard:

Wally: "Mom, did my brother get into a fight with Larry and Gilbert?"
June: "Not that I've heard, dear. Why?"
Wally, "Well, I overheard them talking about going into town to lick Beaver."
 
Last edited:
FireBrand

FireBrand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonio said:
Here's one I haven't heard:

Wally: "Mom, did my brother get into a fight with Larry and Gilbert?"
June: "Not that I've heard, dear. Why?"
Wally, "Well, I overheard them talking about going into town to lick Beaver."
Click to expand...

:lmao:
 
Kyle

Kyle

Beloved Misanthrope
PREMO Member
Vince said:
Flew in the Bermuda Triangle for 20 years and never had anything strange happen. :shrug:
Click to expand...
Wow!

Was it a really economical plane or did it just have really huge fuel tanks?
 
BS Gal

BS Gal

Voted Nicest in 08
We had a female pilot on the way back from Key West a few years ago. She was really, really funny. The first thing she did was count the people on the plane and said she wasn't sure that there wasn't too much weight. Then she proceeded to tell us that we might have to change seats to "even out the weight." Then she told us she had never really flown a plane that big, but she had read the instruction manual over the weekend and THOUGHT she had everything down except the landing part. Then she went into the cabin.
 
LordStanley

LordStanley

I know nothing
Tonio said:
From what I've read, the two actors improvised most of that dialogue at the request of the Zuckers. In relation to real jive, it was something like 10 percent real and 90 percent made up. Did you recognize the actress who played the jive translator?
Click to expand...



Please.... June Cleaver!


:edited:

I guess I should have read the rest of the posts, before trying to be a smart guy. Didnt see that eveyone else said the same thing
Im a :loser:
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top