Balancing your kids

[marianne]

This post http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?t=50745 got me thinking and I was wondering what experienced parents think about this dilemma:

Let's say you have two daughters. One is a very much a girly-girl the other is the opposite and borderline aggressive. The girly-girl wants to take ballet while the other DD wants to take karate. Your concern is that may tend them toward extremes. Do you let them do what they like or do you make the agressive DD take ballet and the girly-girl take karate to balance them out a bit better?

 

[nomoney]

let them take what they are interested in.

 

[morganj614]

This post http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?t=50745 got me thinking and I was wondering what experienced parents think about this dilemma:
Let's say you have two daughters. One is a very much a girly-girl the other is the opposite and borderline aggressive. The girly-girl wants to take ballet while the other DD wants to take karate. Your concern is that may tend them toward extremes. Do you let them do what they like or do you make the agressive DD take ballet and the girly-girl take karate to balance them out a bit better?

Let the children choose. Who says forcing them to do what you would like is going to make them balanced?
Children will resent you if forced into something...I know, I used to be a child...

 

[Otter]

This post http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?t=50745 got me thinking and I was wondering what experienced parents think about this dilemma:

Let's say you have two daughters. One is a very much a girly-girl the other is the opposite and borderline aggressive. The girly-girl wants to take ballet while the other DD wants to take karate. Your concern is that may tend them toward extremes. Do you let them do what they like or do you make the agressive DD take ballet and the girly-girl take karate to balance them out a bit better?

No-brainer, let them do what they are interested in.

 

[RoseRed]

I like to balance my daughter on my knee.

 

[kwillia]

I like to balance my daughter on my knee.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

No-brainer, let them do what they are interested in.

I've always played "sports" in school - not girly girl cheering or pom poms. I would love for my daughter to be active in an aggressive sport, but she enjoy gymnastics and dance. It's her choice and I would rather spend the money on something I know she likes, rather than forcing her to relive my past.

 

[Pete]

I like to balance my daughter on my knee but since we are both real life stick people skinnier than a paperclip it is difficult.

 

[RoseRed]

I am not that skinny, although she is.

 

[citysherry]

This is so funny because one of my twin girls wants to take ballet while the other wants to take karate. They’re both equally girly-girls and as is very common with twins they take turn being the aggressive/leader twin (they switch off every couple of months). We plan on letting them follow their interests but we’ve also had the discussion with them that once they make the commitment to do something they have to see it through to the end - no dropping out.

 

[marianne]

I initially thought to let them do what they like. But if the aggressive DD currently goes over to the dog while he's asleep and steps on him for fun while girly girl refuses to wear anything but dresses and tiaras, I wonder if it's still a good idea.

 

[KCM]

My two are complete opposites right down to what they like to eat. Let them do what they want to do and what they are interested in. Not what you want them to participate in.

 

[morganj614]

I initially thought to let them do what they like. But if the aggressive DD currently goes over to the dog while he's asleep and steps on him for fun while girly girl refuses to wear anything but dresses and tiaras, I wonder if it's still a good idea.

You have me Why can't you let your kids be the personalities they are? If you have a kid stepping on the dog, then correct it. If one dresses up then encourage it..Sheesh!

 

[suzeQ]

The karate will likely be a good outlet for your agressive DD. Maybe she'll leave the dog alone if she 'gets it out of her system' through karate. And ballet is a great activity, for boys and girls alike (although my husband is relieved none of our boys ever wanted to participate).

 

[nomoney]

I initially thought to let them do what they like. But if the aggressive DD currently goes over to the dog while he's asleep and steps on him for fun while girly girl refuses to wear anything but dresses and tiaras, I wonder if it's still a good idea.

I have two boys; total opposites....... one is very well behaved and mature for his age...he wants to take swimming...the other is very "strong willed" ; he's gung ho for football- guess what they are going to be taking? Why try to change their personalities? Correct the missbehaving; and encourage their unique personalities...unless you want a couple of zombies for kids

 

[KCM]

The karate will likely be a good outlet for your agressive DD. Maybe she'll leave the dog alone if she 'gets it out of her system' through karate. And ballet is a great activity, for boys and girls alike (although my husband is relieved none of our boys ever wanted to participate).

If karate is anything like Tae Kwon Do, they teach self discipline and respect more than self defense. Not saying that self defense is not a primary aspect but there is more to martial arts than that.

 

[vraiblonde]

We let our kids do the activities they're interested in but we also encourage them to try something new. Like, our middle daughter always does something with theater or writing for her extracurriculars, but a couple of years ago Larry made her play basketball. Why, I do not know, because she's just not athletic and she sucked at it (although Larry will be on here in a minute to tell you that she was better than Michael Jordan ), plus she just didn't enjoy it.

Our youngest daughter is more sporty - cheered and plays field hockey - so Larry made her take voice lessons. She hates it.

So why we do this, I have no idea. But it's supposed to be good for them or something. :shrug:

 

[cattitude]

When our kids were young, we let them try whatever they wanted. I remember my oldest son wanted to be the next Wayne Gretzky until he realized that it involved ice skating, cold, and a lot of falling on your butt. He was around 5. He didn't like it but I made him finish what he started. He ended up playing football and played that through high school. Our youngest dabbled in football and baseball but was not confident. When he was about 11, he found roller hockey. He ended up being very good, traveled with a select team along the east coast. Did wonders for his confidence...maybe a little too much. I think kids need to find their niche...they need to be exposed to lots of activities, etc.

I do think that if they make a commitment to play on any team, they should be made to stick it out at least until the end of the season. I never allowed them to quit in the middle of something.

 

[jwwb2000]

Let them do what they want. I have had my daughter in dance for 2 years now and she doesn't show any more interest in it for next year. She is wanting to play soccer and tball so that is what she will be doing this coming year. I am not gonna force her to do dance any longer if she doesn't want to do it anymore.

 

[janey83]

I would think that if you forced the girls to do something they didn't want to do, then the aggressive one might feel more so rebellious and resentful. Kids need an outlet, and things like ballet & karate are good for that -- just get them involved in something they are interested in, and if you want them to get along better, then try to find an afterschool club or something they can join together -- maybe Girl Scouts, depending on how old they are?