Balancing your kids

[kwillia]

I would think that if you forced the girls to do something they didn't want to do, then the aggressive one might feel more so rebellious and resentful. Kids need an outlet, and things like ballet & karate are good for that -- just get them involved in something they are interested in, and if you want them to get along better, then try to find an afterschool club or something they can join together -- maybe Girl Scouts, depending on how old they are?

So are you saying she should let them order the lobster...

 

[RoseRed]

So are you saying she should let them order the lobster...

:snort:

 

[pixiegirl]

I initially thought to let them do what they like. But if the aggressive DD currently goes over to the dog while he's asleep and steps on him for fun while girly girl refuses to wear anything but dresses and tiaras, I wonder if it's still a good idea.

This is easy. Beat her a$$ for stepping on the dog. Crime and punishment.

And is there something wrong with a girl wanting to wear dresses all the time? If I had had a girl I'd of played dress up with her more then I ever did a baby doll growing up.

 

[marianne]

We let our kids do the activities they're interested in but we also encourage them to try something new.... So why we do this, I have no idea. But it's supposed to be good for them or something.

This is really what I had in mind - my dog stepping/tiara example didn't cut the mustard. You all are right - if you force your kids to do something they don't want to do they'll probably resent it. But there is a chance they might enjoy it - and would they never know they'd enjoy it if you hadn't made them try it? .... I remember reading an article about Michael Vick where Mike attributes his great manuevering ability to the fact that his mother forced him to take ballet when he was only interested in football. Yeah, I'm sure he wasn't thrilled about taking ballet but look at how good it turned out to be for him.

My DS has always been a bookworm and never really got into sports. I always wonder if he had spent more time playing sports when he was younger and more impressionable if he would have enjoyed it more and been more well-rounded. We tend to do what we're good at and reject things we don't know about or are not good at. Maybe I'm overly concerned about making my kids well-rounded, I dunno.

 

[nomoney]

how old are they?

 

[Mikeinsmd]

I initially thought to let them do what they like. But if the aggressive DD currently goes over to the dog while he's asleep and steps on him for fun while girly girl refuses to wear anything but dresses and tiaras, I wonder if it's still a good idea.

Marianne, aren't there more important things to worry about than this?? Holy bejeebs!! Let them play in an airplane wheel well.....

 

[marianne]

how old are they?

3, 4, & 14

 

[vraiblonde]

We tend to do what we're good at and reject things we don't know about or are not good at. Maybe I'm overly concerned about making my kids well-rounded, I dunno.

I don't think you're overly concerned - especially when they're that young. If they were teens, okay, because their likes and dislikes are probably already ingrained. But it doesn't hurt to expose them to different things. How else are the supposed to know what they like and don't like?

I might have them both do both activities - they both take ballet and they both take karate. Try it for a few months, then take it from there. If they really hate it, let them drop. :shrug:

 

[marianne]

Marianne, aren't there more important things to worry about than this?? Holy bejeebs!! Let them play in an airplane wheel well.....

You are right and this is probably more of my control freak problem than any problems my kids may have But reading the article that was posted today made me think my moderately agressive DD could become significantly more agressive and it may be a better idea to put her in classes/situations that curb such behavior now that she's young & impressionable.

My DH tells me stories from his childhood that make me cringe... shooting arrows straight up into the air is one of my favorites.

 

[marianne]

I might have them both do both activities - they both take ballet and they both take karate.

I think that's a great approach. You can only take ballet if you take karate and YOU can only take karate if you take ballet. Works for me.