Larry Gude
Strung Out
I suppose the ability to inebriate themselves is a point of greater concern to some people than it is to others.
Some of us have managed to find, and learned to control, that natural switch inside us that, when turned on, allows us to emulate most of the effects of inebriation, without having to endure the nasty tastes and (undesirable) lingering side-effects associated with inducing them the old-fashioned way. In other words, some of us can get stupid without the aid of alcohol - situations calling for it, we can just snap our fingers and, BOOM, get stupid.
You don't drink beer, ergo, you don't go to NFL games, correct?