bed time

[alex]

My SIL lets her 2 yr old dictate her life. If the kid wakes in the middle of the night she winds up in her parents bed. SIL claims that she just can't ignore the "mommy" call. I told her if the kid is okay then just leave her in her bed. Otherwise you will have a problem later on. But then again, anytime the kid crys, wants to be picked up, etc they drop what they are doing and give her what she wants. I wish I could be a fly on the wall later on.

I agree that cuddling or rocking your child as often as possible is great. I would rock them as often as you want. However, I would not start getting into bed with them in the middle of the night unless they were sick.

At some point in the not to near future you need to start teaching them that you will give them as much attention as you can but that sometimes you can't and they have understand that too.

 

[vraiblonde]

If the kid wakes in the middle of the night she winds up in her parents bed.

When ours would have bad dreams or whatever, I'd let them come snuggle for a few minutes in our bed, then I'd take them back to their bed and lay with them until they fell asleep. Sometimes I'd fall asleep and wake up in their bed the next morning. Nobody was scarred for life.

But when they're toddlers and start whining for attention, I agree that telling them to wait a minute is good for them and teaches them not to be so demanding.

 

[carolinagirl]

I have three kids and each of them have different sleep patterns. You just need to adjust and do what works best for you and the child. I rocked my first one to sleep and when she is asleep a hurricane couldn't wake her. My second child refused to sleep anywhere except with me, she is a night owl and a very light sleeper and my third child asks to get in his crib every night between 9 -9:30 pm. He doesn't like sleeping with anyone and is content to lay in his crib for a few minutes before falling off to sleep.

 

[greyhound]

My SIL lets her 2 yr old dictate her life. If the kid wakes in the middle of the night she winds up in her parents bed. SIL claims that she just can't ignore the "mommy" call. I told her if the kid is okay then just leave her in her bed. Otherwise you will have a problem later on. But then again, anytime the kid crys, wants to be picked up, etc they drop what they are doing and give her what she wants. I wish I could be a fly on the wall later on.

I agree that cuddling or rocking your child as often as possible is great. I would rock them as often as you want. However, I would not start getting into bed with them in the middle of the night unless they were sick.

At some point in the not to near future you need to start teaching them that you will give them as much attention as you can but that sometimes you can't and they have understand that too.

I would love to see a study that showed that, a child who slept in a parents bed, had a parent who came to them when they cried at night or who was rocked to sleep, was somehow not adjusted as an adult or teen.....hummmmm

 

[itsbob]

I would love to see a study that should that, a child who slept in a parents bed, had a parent who came to them when they cried at night or who was rocked to sleep, was somehow not adjusted as an adult or teen.....hummmmm

Has nothing to do with what kind of adult they are going to be (depending on the severity of the spoiling I guess) but what kind of normalcy the parents can have, and what kind of life they can continue to have as a couple.

Having a child sleep in bed with you REALLY detracts form the intimacy a couple can share, and that they NEED. Having a child that wakes up and has to be rocked to sleep makes for some REALLY tired and cranky adults, that will snap at the littlest provocation.

I think the point here is to have as close to a normal life and schedule that you can possibly have while still showing your child the love and affection they need, while still having the time and energy so as a couple you can have the love and affection your relationship needs.

 

[aosmiles]

Every baby is different. But one thing about every one of them is that until they can gesture and talk, crying is the only way they can communicate. As they get older, it is okay for them to cry for a couple of minutes, but to let them cry for a long time is inhuman. They need to be reassured they everything is okay. No, it won't hurt them, but almost any mom feels horrible when their kids cry for a long time. It seems the dads don't have a problem with longer periods of crying.

 

[Joewsesnica]

I totally agree. My son is now 15 months old, and I rocked him to sleep until he wouldn't let me anymore. (Mr. Independent) Now I just put him in his crib with his pacifier and he normally falls asleep after a little while. But the one good thing I found is a thing you put on the rail of the crib and it plays music and projects a little "movie" on the ceiling. He will lay in the crib and watch that til he falls asleep. And, if none of that works and he does cry for about 10 - 15 minutes then I just lay down with him. I don't see anything wrong with that, everyone needs a little comforting and cuddling!!!!

This is what I was talking about. It works wonders. My little one has been sleeping through the night since he was 1 month old in his own bed. And this thing puts him to sleep perfect. Although like I said we all have bad nights, so if this didn't work some nights I would just put him to sleep, either by laying with him or rocking him. Then when he falls asleep I put him in his bed. And even if they wake up in the middle of the night and won't stop crying you can just push the button and they will listen and watch and eventually fall back to sleep. Then it gets even better, my little one knows where the button is to turn it on, so if he wakes up he turns it on himself.

This is the best thing I've ever spent $25 dollars on!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Joewsesnica]

This is what I was talking about. It works wonders. My little one has been sleeping through the night since he was 1 month old in his own bed. And this thing puts him to sleep perfect. Although like I said we all have bad nights, so if this didn't work some nights I would just put him to sleep, either by laying with him or rocking him. Then when he falls asleep I put him in his bed. And even if they wake up in the middle of the night and won't stop crying you can just push the button and they will listen and watch and eventually fall back to sleep. Then it gets even better, my little one knows where the button is to turn it on, so if he wakes up he turns it on himself.

This is the best thing I've ever spent $25 dollars on!!!!!!!!!!

OOPS...I forgot to paste the site on here so here you go! Sorry

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t.../104-3000752-1681518?v=glance&s=toys&n=559948

 

[itsbob]

to let them cry for a long time is inhuman.

It's not inhuman(e)... it's called parenting.

But I guess you'd have to tell me what you consider a long time.

If you have done everything to take care of them, and they still insist on crying there is NOTHING wrong with just letting them cry.

Sometimes crying is even beneficial.

 

[aosmiles]

When a baby is inconsolable, it is so wrong to just let them cry. No, it probably does not hurt them. But, they cannot speak, they cannot do anything for themselves. So, tell me, why should you, the parent, be getting a good night's rest when your baby is not? I don't know about other moms outside my own family and friends, but if my baby (and I have two of them) cries, I can't sleep. I let them fuss for a few minutes, then go to them if need be. What I do is give them their pacifiers, turn on the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders or Flutterbies (depending which one is crying) and leave the room. If they don't settle down after a little while, I tend to them. That is parenting. They have to learn independence and how to put themselves to sleep, but you have to be realistic too. I have used this same tactic for both of them and they are on their way to being good sleepers.

 

[itsbob]

besides.. the Shed is across the driveway, I can't hear him at night when he does cry.

 

[itsbob]

Inconsolable is different then letting them cry it our for a little while. if he/she is inconsolable the chances are there is something wrong that I've missed, and will find out what is wrong.. with our beast, it's mostly FOOD.

And all I got to say is.. when you have 5 kids, call me.. we'll talk about raising kids.

 

[mamissa3]

I have 4 kids and everyone was different to put to bed.....we did the whole hold them until they fall asleep with my first and second. At around 7 or 8 months i did the while timer thing for 15 min and let them f go to sleep on their own... they sleep wonderfully now. I have no idea what i did wrong with my 3rd becasue he is a terrible sleeper...wakes up more in the middle of the night than my 5 month old. We ALWYAS put him back in his bed though...my 5 month old just puts herself to sleep almost always and gets up once. I say and agree with anyone here who has said whatever works for you... and it is defientaly wonderful to have a sleeping baby in your arms Enjoy it while you can

 

[cege]

I have three kids and each of them have different sleep patterns. You just need to adjust and do what works best for you and the child. I rocked my first one to sleep and when she is asleep a hurricane couldn't wake her. My second child refused to sleep anywhere except with me, she is a night owl and a very light sleeper and my third child asks to get in his crib every night between 9 -9:30 pm. He doesn't like sleeping with anyone and is content to lay in his crib for a few minutes before falling off to sleep.

Same here my oldest never really slept through the night until he was around 2 or 3 but my youngest slept through starting around 7 or 8 weeks. But now the oldest is 15 and he actually slept until 1:00 on saturday when it was raining. Kids are so funny.