Being a grandparent and the guilt

[pelers]

As several others have said, memories and traditions are far more memorable than stuff. The only gifts I really remember as a child were the really bad ones. Barbie dolls given while I was in high school, etc.

I better remember time spent DOING things with my grandparents. Camping, going hiking, the family get togethers at their house where my cousins and I would run wild playing outside and being devoured by the mutant mosquitos that live in Texas.

My grandmother never forgot a birthday card. She always sent me a card for every occasion: birthdays, holidays, important events... She did that with all ten of her grandchildren. Always had time to listen and didn't shoo us kids off like most adults do when kids get rambly. Those are the things I remember about her and love her for.

 

[Railroad]

It appears that I'll never be a grandparent, and given the antipathy I have with most children (I either love 'em or hate 'em), that's doubtless best for all concerned. But, as has been said here, your friends in this situation appear to be time and persistence and patience. My own family and grandparents put the "dis" in dysfunctional, all of them without exception warped to one degree or another, but for those who are capable of the kind of love I've read about and watched in movies, the treasures seem almost limitless. The good thing about grandchildren, I surmise, is that when they are young you have a lot of time ahead in which to nurture and bond with them. And the rarity of the occasions when those can occur, must make those times all the more precious. Other adults can make things difficult, but the kids themselves can at times give unconditionally the treasured moments which outweigh everything and everyone else. JMHO from the sidelines.

 

[czygvtwkr]

Buy them trombones and suggest they play for the other grandparents.

 

[kalmd]

Bann, thanks for mentioning respite - we already get (and use) 30 hours of respite a week. The trick is finding someone who actually will do an overnight with our daughter's special needs.

Contact Always There Companion Care. We use them for our handicapped daughter.

 

[acommondisaster]

Contact Always There Companion Care. We use them for our handicapped daughter.

Thanks - I'll give them a call. Thus far the county and the state haven't been able to come up with anyone willing to come here at the hours we need them - even at $20 an hour.