@ Biscuit and Kain
I consider Larry and I to have a very successful marriage. We don't have separate checking, we call each other names when we're mad, occasionally I throw things and tell him I hate him, we have a TV AND a computer in our bedroom, we don't have a regular date night, we bring up the past when we're mad, we use terms like "you NEVER..." and "you ALWAYS...". To quote General Patton, the idea isn't to die for your country, it's to make some other sumb*tch dies for HIS country. If you're not going to win, why fight?
Obviously a good sense of humor helps a lot. You've both got to WANT to have a successful marriage. And that's what it boils down to. It's not little platitudes like "never go to bed mad" - sometimes when you're in the heat of battle, it's best to sleep it off and get a fresh perspective in the morning.
It's being able to apologize when you're wrong and MEAN IT. It's communicating to your husband/wife that they are important to you. It's being honest about your feelings, no matter how petty they are. If you're angry, take a minute to indentify WHY you're angry, then tell him. Don't just keep it to yourself and build resentment.
It's committing yourself wholeheartedly to another person - two become one, and all that. Sounds trite but you'll find that the most successful marriages are between two people who operate as a team and put each other first, before friends, before children, before parents.
