CBS Producers Ask Shannon Sharpe...

[Baz]

To Use At Least 3 Real Words Per Sentence.

NEW YORK—In an effort to clear up the confusion caused by terminology such as "unconsistentical" and "splosiverance," CBS producers made a formal request Monday that NFL Today commentator Shannon Sharpe use a minimum of three real words in each sentence. ...

CBS Producers Ask Shannon Sharpe To Use At Least 3 Real Words Per Sentence | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

[cattitude]

I hope he wears Hugh Hefner's pajamas again this week.

 

[BadGirl]

I have never seen a man who has a bigger head than he has. His noggin is enormous. Not to mention that when he speaks, it sounds as if he has marbles in his mouth. I've heard that he's had extensive speech therapy, but I've never been able to see or hear an improvement in how he speaks.

 

[Baz]

I have never seen a man who has a bigger head than he has. His noggin is enormous. Not to mention that when he speaks, it sounds as if he has marbles in his mouth. I've heard that he's had extensive speech therapy, but I've never been able to see or hear an improvement in how he speaks.

I don't understand how that guy gets paid to speak on TV. Personally, I find the entire CBS studio show pretty much unwatchable. Sharpe is unintelligible. Marino and James Brown are bland and boring. Esiason and Cowher are okay, but that's about it.

 

[itsbob]

I have never seen a man who has a bigger head than he has. His noggin is enormous. Not to mention that when he speaks, it sounds as if he has marbles in his mouth. I've heard that he's had extensive speech therapy, but I've never been able to see or hear an improvement in how he speaks.

You think he's bad now, you should have seen his sideline interviews when he was playing..

There's a reason he was NEVER a product spokesperson..

 

[Aerogal]

Does anyone remember the old SNL skit with Eddie Murphy playing the football star "Fooball bin bery bery good to me"?
Do you think he studied that for TV?

 

[Pete]

I have never seen a man who has a bigger head than he has. His noggin is enormous. Not to mention that when he speaks, it sounds as if he has marbles in his mouth. I've heard that he's had extensive speech therapy, but I've never been able to see or hear an improvement in how he speaks.

Take a gander at Keef Olbermann. That retard has a monsterous bean.

 

[donbarzini]

Does anyone remember the old SNL skit with Eddie Murphy playing the football star "Fooball bin bery bery good to me"?
Do you think he studied that for TV?

I'm PRETTY sure you're thinking about Garrett Morris as Chico Escuela: "Beisbol ben berry, berry goot to me"

 

[cattitude]

I'm PRETTY sure you're thinking about Garrett Morris as Chico Escuela: "Beisbol ben berry, berry goot to me"

There was a Comedy Club guy years ago who did a hilarious skit..

"Number 27...sh*t 72...foobawl is my life..it if wasn't for foobawl, I would not be playing foobawl today... " Funny stuff.

 

[Aerogal]

I remember that one, but I could have swore Eddie said the same thing about football. It's hard to remember back to those days - they were a little 'foggy' to begin with - ahem.

 

[itsbob]

Does anyone remember the old SNL skit with Eddie Murphy playing the football star "Fooball bin bery bery good to me"?
Do you think he studied that for TV?

YES..

With my hemmet (fingers touching his shoulders) and my shouldermepads.. (fingers touching his head)

 

[cattitude]

YES..

With my hemmet (fingers touching his shoulders) and my shouldermepads.. (fingers touching his head)

That was the comedy club guy.

 

[cattitude]

In fact, YouTube has the video but the language isn't appropriate to post. Search "comedy club football" and watch the video..the guy at the end is the one I think everyone is thinking of.

 

[Rael]

YES..

With my hemmet (fingers touching his shoulders) and my shouldermepads.. (fingers touching his head)

I myself, when I where a lil' childrin'...Ah'd be playin' foo-bawl wif my friends..an ma head were accidentally ripped from ma body...no...no.. an..an it were layin' in the mud...
..an ma body'd be runnin' roun' tacklin' shiat...like dat


(gesturing his arms)


Bob Nelson. I loved that routine. That was his debut, and unfortunately he was outdone by Sam Kinnison the same night (Rodney Dangerfield's 9th Annual Young comedians special). I watched the tape so often, I couldn't use it any longer.

 

[Otter]

There was a Comedy Club guy years ago who did a hilarious skit..

"Number 27...sh*t 72...foobawl is my life..it if wasn't for foobawl, I would not be playing foobawl today... " Funny stuff.

It was a Rodney Dangerfields New Comedians or something like that, on HBO, Dangerfield did it yearly to introduce 4 or 5 up and coming comedians..Same program had Jim Carrey doing impersonations of different people..Henry Fonda, Michael Landon..and a few others..He was dead on with the facial expressions and voices/mannerisms..This was probably 5 yrs before he hit the main stream by being on In Living Color.

 

[cattitude]

I myself, when I where a lil' childrin'...Ah'd be playin' foo-bawl wif my friends..an ma head were accidentally ripped from ma body...no...no.. an..an it were layin' in the mud...
..an ma body'd be runnin' roun' tacklin' shiat...like dat


(gesturing his arms)


Bob Nelson. I loved that routine. That was his debut, and unfortunately he was outdone by Sam Kinnison the same night (Rodney Dangerfield's 9th Annual Young comedians special). I watched the tape so often, I couldn't use it any longer.

We have the tape somewhere... That and Eddie Murphy-Delirious with the gonnie goo-goos.. and the dog shiat...and "now that's a fire"

 

[Rael]

It was a Rodney Dangerfields New Comedians or something like that, on HBO, Dangerfield did it yearly to introduce 4 or 5 up and coming comedians..Same program had Jim Carrey doing impersonations of different people..Henry Fonda, Michael Landon..and a few others..He was dead on with the facial expressions and voices/mannerisms..This was probably 5 yrs before he hit the main stream by being on In Living Color.

I think that was a different one. The one I had introduced Rita Radner, BobSaget, some New Yawka, Louie Anderson, and a few others.

 

[Otter]

I think that was a different one. The one I had introduced Rita Radner, BobSaget, some New Yawka, Louie Anderson, and a few others.

Not sure..I recorded it off of HBO around 85 or 86..Seems to me it had Saget, Anderson, Carrey, the football guy and some guy that did "a day at disneyland"(thats all I remember about him, he wasn't funny)..lol

 

[Rael]

Not sure..I recorded it off of HBO around 85 or 86..Seems to me it had Saget, Anderson, Carrey, the football guy and some guy that did "a day at disneyland"(thats all I remember about him, he wasn't funny)..lol

I liked Nelson's drunk routine on that one, too. Drinks a glass of water that spills all over his chin, and he says

"Ssh-orry.....I must be full."

 

[Otter]

I liked Nelson's drunk routine on that one, too. Drinks a glass of water that spills all over his chin, and he says

"Ssh-orry.....I must be full."

Yep..I remember that..and Saget wasn't the wholesome guy that you saw on that video show..