Christmas Story

[aps45819]

The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy.

"Tell me Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.

Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick," she said.

"Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?"

"Well, Ms. Pelzner, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents, " Jimmy replied.

"That's also very nice Jimmy," she said.

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked Isaac Cohen the same question.

"Now Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, we also sing hymns!"

Surprised, Ms Pelzner questioned further. "Tell us what you sing."

"Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing, 'What A Friend We Have In Jesus.' Then we all go to the Bahamas.

 

[Otter]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "They're Carols".

 

[Tonio]

I thought aps45819 would get spanked by the administrator for telling a joke that most Jews would see as anti-Semitic. What's your opinion?

 

[Otter]

Originally posted by Tonio
I thought aps45819 would get spanked by the administrator for telling a joke that most Jews would see as anti-Semitic. What's your opinion?

Its a joke and I don't see it as being anti-Semitic..I think it would be a stretch to scream about it.

 

[Sharon]

Originally posted by Tonio
What's your opinion?

A joke is a joke, whether it's about women, men, jobs, religion, sterotypes, etc. Some may be in bad taste (like Catholic priests boinking alter boys) but if we eliminated everything that someone found offensive, this place would be a ghost town.

 

[Tonio]

Originally posted by Sharon
A joke is a joke, whether it's about women, men, jobs, religion, sterotypes, etc. Some may be in bad taste (like Catholic priests boinking alter boys) but if we eliminated everything that someone found offensive, this place would be a ghost town.

True. Groups such as blacks and Jews joke about stereotypes all the time. That helps defang those unpleasant images. But when people who aren't members of those groups joke about the same stereotypes, it comes across differently. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's the reality. That was my point.

BTW, I'm a non-Jew who has older relatives who talk about Jews that way, and not always as a joke. They really believe that Jews are money-grubbers. I find that sad. (I won't go into their litany of beliefs about blacks.)

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by Tonio
I thought aps45819 would get spanked by the administrator for telling a joke that most Jews would see as anti-Semitic. What's your opinion?

It may be a stereotype that many Jews are wealthy business people, but that's not a bad thing. I would think it is a stereotype to aspire to. How is that anti-semitic?

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by Tonio
I thought aps45819 would get spanked by the administrator for telling a joke that most Jews would see as anti-Semitic. What's your opinion?

People need to stop whining like a frog.

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by justhangn
People need to stop whining like a frog.

Do frogs whine?

 

[Tonio]

Originally posted by cmcdanal
It may be a stereotype that many Jews are wealthy business people, but that's not a bad thing. I would think it is a stereotype to aspire to. How is that anti-semitic?

Good question. Every time I've heard the stereotype mentioned, it's done in such a context as to make Jewish people look heartless and greedy. It usually has to do with money-lending. I think there's some jealousy there, too.

 

[aps45819]

Your question about this joke be anti-semitic shows some predjuce on your part. What about Pratrick Murphey and his 12 brothers and sisters. Is that anti- Irish Catholic?
Or is the description of Jimmy Brown anti- Wasp? Personally, I think Isaac Cohen and his family get the best deal in this joke. Dad sold out his inventory and the whole family goes to the Bahamas in the middle of winter.

 

[Tonio]

Originally posted by aps45819
Your question about this joke be anti-semitic shows some predjuce on your part. What about Pratrick Murphey and his 12 brothers and sisters. Is that anti- Irish Catholic?
Or is the description of Jimmy Brown anti- Wasp? Personally, I think Isaac Cohen and his family get the best deal in this joke. Dad sold out his inventory and the whole family goes to the Bahamas in the middle of winter.

Thanks for your response. I wasn't saying that I found the joke offensive toward Jews, only that most Jews would see it that way. (I'm neither Jewish nor Catholic, by the way.) I was simply trying to play devil's advocate.

Also, little Patrick Murphy and his 12 brothers and sisters weren't the butt of that joke. If they were, you might have a point.

Ever see Monty Python's the Meaning of Life? I thought the Catholic vs. Protestant take on sex and procreation was hilarious. Let's all sing! "Every sperm is sacred...."

 

[SamSpade]

Originally posted by cmcdanal
Do frogs whine?

I don't know but if you step on a grape, it will let out a *little* wine.

 

[Dymphna]

Originally posted by Tonio
Also, little Patrick Murphy and his 12 brothers and sisters weren't the butt of that joke. If they were, you might have a point.

Sure they were. They had to go to Church in the middle of the night and have to share their toys and mincemeat pies with all the siblings. Whereas the Cohen family made off to the Bahamas with pockets full of cash.

Now that I think about it, as an Irish Catholic, I am seriously offended by this joke and I and my 10 brothers and sisters, insist that it be removed from the forum immediately.

 

[aps45819]

OK, let's forget my joke and go find Carol from the second joke.