corporal punishment

[Cowgirl]

Because children are not computers. You don't program them once and it's permanent. They forget and need to be reminded. As they grow they test their limits.

I assume you are the "don't spank" type? That's fine if you want to be that way, but it is just as wrong for you to judge those who spank as it is for us to judge you. Don't mistake the occasional spanking with people who beat their children in anger.

I'm not judging, I was asking a serious question. I prefer not to spank. I think there are other ways to punish that work better, IMO.

And it'd be nice if the "spankers" didn't automatically assume all "non-spankers" didn't discipline at all.

 

[czygvtwkr]

If that's true why would anyone ever have to spank more than once?

Some kids are just slow learners

 

[MMDad]

I'm not judging, I was asking a serious question. I prefer not to spank. I think there are other ways to punish that work better, IMO.

And it'd be nice if the "spankers" didn't automatically assume all "non-spankers" didn't discipline at all.

There are different ways, yes. The "work better" part is subjective. If you said "that work better for me" I would agree.

I honestly don't believe there is a "right way." Parents are different, kids are different, and there is no one size fits all solution.

My only judgement is that parents should never "punish" a child. There should only be discipline. Discipline is intended to correct a behavior and prevent it in the future. Punishment is more like revenge for something that happened in the past.

I realize it is semantics, but I do believe it is important to understand the difference.

 

[Cowgirl]

There are different ways, yes. The "work better" part is subjective. If you said "that work better for me" I would agree.

I honestly don't believe there is a "right way." Parents are different, kids are different, and there is no one size fits all solution.

My only judgement is that parents should never "punish" a child. There should only be discipline. Discipline is intended to correct a behavior and prevent it in the future. Punishment is more like revenge for something that happened in the past.

I realize it is semantics, but I do believe it is important to understand the difference.

Ok. And did you miss the "IMO" part?

 

[MMDad]

Ok. And did you miss the "IMO" part?

I guess I did...

It sounds like you are involved with your kids (step kids?), which is more important then anything else. I think the biggest problem today is the parents who sit their kids in front of a TV for five years then expect kindergarten to turn them into humans.

Before my kids were born I volunteered at a high school. At the end of the year we'd have an awards ceremony for the kids, and that was very revealing. We already knew the parents of the great kids - they were just as involved as the staff was.

Then we'd see the parent of a mediocre kid looking like she was headed to work at Rose's. Explained a lot.

Then there were our discipline problems. Their parents hadn't been seen all year, and they didn't even show up to see their kid get recognition from their peers and instructors. Sad.

 

[itsbob]

Ok. And did you miss the "IMO" part?

In other news..

The pear tree is planted, and it has a distinguished spot in the front yard. It's doing great!

Thanks!

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

I wish.. Maybe when my son was younger all it took was a look but those days are gone...

Comparatively speaking my Brother and I are like night and day. I did get "the belt" a few times growing up, but for the most part all my parents had to do was LOOK at me "cross-eyed" and I knew to knock it off and if I didn't knew what was coming next.

My Brother on the other hand, would argue with a fence post. He is JUST LIKE Mom; both of them refused to let the other have the last word. Add to that Brother's open defiance. His favorite word growing up was "NO." He would also throw tantrums in public when he didn't want to leave when it was time to. So he got the belt, wooden spoons, fly swatters; pretty much anything M&D could reach when "the need" presented itself. The bad part was, my Brother would bruise like a grape, so there was sometimes a fear that Social Services would be called; but they never were.

Mom and Dad were not and were NEVER abusive toward either one of us.

My Brother just knew how to push their buttons. He just didn't know when to stop.