Dating Sober
- Thread starter seven
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KDENISE977
New Member
Ask. Be open and honest. My husband doesn't drink at all because he was told at an early age (20s)he was a nasty person when he drank. I however am a wine FANATIC but he knew that from day one. :shrug:
R
rhenderson
Guest
Who selected the venue? What is the non-drinker's history? Musiclady hit right on - just ask. However, you also need to ask how important the drink is to you? If the non-drinker does object, what are you going to do. Would that diminish your enjoyment of the event (dinner I presume). Will you be satisfied with just one drink?
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
What someone else may or may not eat/ drink has no bearing on what I eat/ drink. It's their choice to be sober. It's my choice to enjoy a few beverages. 
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Are you asking ahead of time?
Or are you asking because of what happened and the reaction?
I know sober people that don't care if others drink and I know sober people who are missionaries about it.
So, need more info for advice but I would observe that this, and many others, are part of the reason for dating; to get to know one another and find the answers to this question and many others.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
What if you're having a date with Caitlyn? what then?
You have bigger problems than what a little alcohol will cause. Drink up Larry.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
itsbob
I bowl overhand
Drink until she's pretty
terbear1225
Well-Known Member
if you're not far enough into the relationship to feel comfortable asking, the answer should probably be no.
JeJeTe
Happiness
I'm sure the person would want you to feel comfortable so if that's what you want to do, go for it. If it progresses I'm assuming you aren't going to give up drinking so I'd let it be known up front.
Most people who don't drink usually just want you to feel comfortable enough around them to do what you want.
Most people who don't drink usually just want you to feel comfortable enough around them to do what you want.
KDENISE977
New Member
You also have to sort of "assume" they will be honest with you. I had a roommate one time, she was an alcoholic and was in AA and said it was NO problem that I drank, she actually tended bar when I met her. She turned crazy train on me and said "I KNOW you are drinking and have alcohol in the house" well no crap, :shrug: why wouldn't I? Yeah, that ended badly. She would search my bedroom to find bottles of wine or whatnot.
kwillia
n/a
The way I see it, the general purpose of dating is to test out compatibility. If one is a social drinker and the other must avoid drinking than it makes sense for it to be a subject worth addressing and "testing" from the start. If the social drinker has no intention of forever avoiding alcoholic beverages as would be required by the person who can't handle the presence of alcohol... than that's not a match that will last...:shrug:
I wouldn't have the drink; I'd wait for the other person to say it's not going to bother them and invite me to order one. I'd feel terrible if them watching me enjoy my beer made them go on a bender. But honestly, I wouldn't get involved with someone I couldn't drink in front of unless I was willing to give up drinking altogether.
MMDad
Lem Putt
And any sober person dating you better be okay with you drinking. That's their responsibility, not yours. If they don't know you well enough to know that before dating, then they should make their issue known before the first date.
Anyone who has been sober for three years yet cannot see someone drink without it triggering them to drink is not sober, they are "dry." There's a difference.
lucky_bee
RBF expert
but also, when people ask if I mind if they light up a cigarette around me...I usually lie and say it's fine when in fact I hate them. I mind a lot less when we're outside, bc the smell is avoidable depending how I stand. But these people are either acquaintances or coworkers. I don't date or have any friends that are smokers. I'm just saying, I've been politely asked that, and I've just said fine, no problem to be nice.