Dear Mom of screaming toddler:

[vraiblonde]

http://www.stuffmomssay.com/2015/03/dear-mom-of-tantruming-toddler-in-target.html?m=1

I know you saw me watching you but I want you to know something: I’m not judging you.

Screaming tots might penetrate my brain, and if they do I might judge Mommy depending on the situation. If your kid is screaming and having a prolonged fit, and you don't pause to take them somewhere and calm them, I will judge you. What kind of selfish ass doesn't at least try to calm their hysterical child?? If it's traditional nap time, or 10pm, I will judge you. Why would you drag your exhausted child around instead of scheduling your errands when they are more likely to be in a good mood?

I don't think your kid is a brat, and I don't think you're a bad Mom. I just think you could probably use better time management skills.

I'll tell you one time that I never EVER judge parents of bawling children, and feel completely compassionate toward them: on airplanes. Air travel (or any travel that holds you hostage for a length of time) is not conducive to happy children, but is a necessary evil. I never experienced the airplane meltdown with my kids, but I can still feel terrible when it happens to some other parent.

 

[Roman]

My kids are now adults, but when they were young I would schedule outings around their nap time making sure they were well rested. Sometimes, this is impossible. When they did throw a fit, I would take them right out of the store, and go home. One thing I always hated was going to a nice restaurant, and hearing kids screaming. Leave them home if possible.

 

[RareBreed]

My in-laws learned the hard way that when I tell them we should not be out when it was my oldest's nap time. They insisted on going to an aquarium around 1pm which was right when my son went down for a nap. I warned them that it was a bad idea but they said he'd be ok. Mind you, they lived 10 hours away so didn't have the slightest clue about day to day life with my son. We got as far as the entrance to the aquarium before he had his melt-down. I gave them the "I TOLD YOU SO!!" look and we were out of there.

 

[vraiblonde]

One thing I always hated was going to a nice restaurant, and hearing kids screaming. Leave them home if possible.

That's another time I judge the parents - when the venue is inappropriate for children.

 

[KDENISE977]

I would NEVER allow my 3 year old to have a meltdown in public, he's 3, he's kind of an a-hole at this age. He thinks if we're in public he can get away with things because I won't do anything....wrong. I also don't take him to restaurants very much, I think a handful of times and he was fine, but if he isn't fine, he's going to sit in the car or get his azz beat I the bathroom, it's just common courtesy.

 

[LostNFound]

When mine were small and it was hard to bring them on errands or out in general- I stayed home. A lot. And ironically I was judged for it. Many a parent would tell me (this being more constructive and well meaning maybe) that if I dont take them out theyll never learn how to act in public. Of course that came true as my adult kids scream in movie theaters and throw food in restaurants
I was also told (def. the lamer advice) take them anyway- who cares if they scream/throw things/run - they are kids and should be allowed to be kids.

Damned if you do damned if you dont. I agree with OP- time management would go a long way for some.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Girl went with me everywhere, no matter what time of day. When she was under 5 and before hitting school, she didn't have a schedule. She was on my time, which was single mom working 2 jobs time. Very rarely did she ever have a meltdown -- I can remember once at the mall because she wanted something.

 

[TPD]

I'll tell you one time that I never EVER judge parents of bawling children, and feel completely compassionate toward them: on airplanes. Air travel (or any travel that holds you hostage for a length of time) is not conducive to happy children, but is a necessary evil. I never experienced the airplane meltdown with my kids, but I can still feel terrible when it happens to some other parent.

When my daughter about 20 months old, we flew to Florida with her in our lap. Had a 2pm flight to coincide with kid's nap time. Flight was delayed about an hour because of snow. We kept kid awake till we got on plane. BIG MISTAKE! She screamed for 2 hours on that plane! My wife did everything to try to calm her. Even took her to the loo and whipped her ass. Nothing worked. We felt so bad for everyone around us - apologizing and trying to explain it was because of the delay. Our daughter was a good kid - this wasn't our daughter! We learned then to let her sleep when she was ready wherever we were. So I thank you Vrai for your understanding on planes. We too understand when flying now.

 

[Bann]

http://www.stuffmomssay.com/2015/03/dear-mom-of-tantruming-toddler-in-target.html?m=1



Screaming tots might penetrate my brain, and if they do I might judge Mommy depending on the situation. If your kid is screaming and having a prolonged fit, and you don't pause to take them somewhere and calm them, I will judge you. What kind of selfish ass doesn't at least try to calm their hysterical child?? If it's traditional nap time, or 10pm, I will judge you. Why would you drag your exhausted child around instead of scheduling your errands when they are more likely to be in a good mood?

I don't think your kid is a brat, and I don't think you're a bad Mom. I just think you could probably use better time management skills.

I'll tell you one time that I never EVER judge parents of bawling children, and feel completely compassionate toward them: on airplanes. Air travel (or any travel that holds you hostage for a length of time) is not conducive to happy children, but is a necessary evil. I never experienced the airplane meltdown with my kids, but I can still feel terrible when it happens to some other parent.

Thing1 had no tolerance for going *anywhere* after 4pm. He has always been an early riser (by 5am!) and since he had developmental delays, he was in school when he was a toddler. So he went to school a half day until he went to Kindergarten, which was a full day. After dinner, even when he had naps (which he typically had, every day) he was not able to maintain an even behavior/temperament outside the home. There were certain times, as a Navy spouse, when the Ex was gone, that I would have to run to the store after dinner and it was always a chore, Thing1 was always a PITA at that time of day. Once, he had a meltdown at the mall when I took him there. It was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e! I decided it was NOT a fluke - he just couldn't hang at that time of night when we left the house. He got up SO early, that he was just overloaded from his day by that time. Actually, I even tried to get hm to go to bed later so he would sleep later, but through out the years - it never took. He was always an early riser, and as a result, he was worn out by time 7-8pm rolled around.

Thing2 was not like his brother in that way, but he also took regular naps and had a regular routine. I was big on routines for my kids and they seemed to do much better with them.

 

[mamatutu]

I only had one screaming toddler experience while in public. My son had a meltdown. I wasn't used to that. I just grabbed him and hugged him tight. He was either startled, or I was cutting off his air supply. He stopped.

 

[vraiblonde]

I just grabbed him and hugged him tight. He was either startled, or I was cutting off his air supply. He stopped.

In my family we call that the Bornemeier Death Grip. Chills them kiddies right out.

 

[mAlice]

Girl went with me everywhere, no matter what time of day. When she was under 5 and before hitting school, she didn't have a schedule. She was on my time, which was single mom working 2 jobs time. Very rarely did she ever have a meltdown -- I can remember once at the mall because she wanted something.

This. What I take away from this and the article is that you never know the whole story of a persons life. Even your best friends will have things going on in their lives that you won't know about. So one has absolutely no idea what's going on in a total strangers life.

I'd like to think that I have made better decisions as a mom, but I may have just been lucky.

 

[mamatutu]

In my family we call that the Bornemeier Death Grip. Chills them kiddies right out.

 

[RoseRed]

Why did you delete your previous post from last night when you insulted the Bronemeier name?

 

[mamatutu]

Why did you delete your previous post from last night when you insulted the Bronemeier name?

I didn't insult her name and you know it. I just decided to edit. Why do you like being a pot stirrer? Are you that bored? Have a great day.

 

[RoseRed]

I didn't insult her name and you know it. I just decided to edit. Why do you like being a pot stirrer? Are you that bored? Have a great day.

You think my question was stirring the pot? Hypersensitive much?

 

[luvmygdaughters]

My two daughters were born 11 months apart...Irish Twins. My ex would watch them just once in a great while. The only time I remember one of them having a meltdown was in the A & P in Upper Marlboro, it was the youngest, she was about 3 I think. Wanted a toy or something and I told her no. She screamed and cried, laid down on the floor and started kicking her legs. I was shocked, she had never acted that way before. I picked her up, put her in the basket, grabbed the other one by the hand and out the door we went. Left the groceries in the cart. Got to the car, smacked her butt, drove home, took her inside to the ex and went back to the store with the oldest one. By the time we got back from the store, she had calmed down and said she was sorry. Never had it happen again. Honestly, I used to get compliments on how well behaved they were whenever we went anywhere. Guess I was lucky.

 

[mamatutu]

You think my question was stirring the pot? Hypersensitive much?

How was your day? Yes, I am hypersensitive sometimes, but not in this case. Yes, you were stirring the pot. I don't get why you would bring up a deleted post if you weren't trying to cause trouble. I imagine vrai saw it before I deleted it and she knows there was no ill intent. Basically, I posted that she had a very unusual/uncommon family/maiden name. And, that my maiden name was unusual/uncommon, too. The reason I deleted was that I tend to get wordy, so I just thought the was enough. Yes, I have been wordy in this post, but just wanted to put the truth out there. For Hank's benefit so he doesn't have to count, this post has 9 'I's' and 1 'me'. Have a great weekend, RR!

 

[vraiblonde]

I imagine vrai saw it before I deleted it and she knows there was no ill intent.

I saw it and was not offended - we cool. Bornemeier isn't my maiden name, or any name in my blood family. It's the name of my aunt's husband, and the Bornemeier Death Grip came from his mother, who taught it to my auntie when my cousin was born, and she taught it to me when my son was born.

 

[mamatutu]

I saw it and was not offended - we cool. Bornemeier isn't my maiden name, or any name in my blood family. It's the name of my aunt's husband, and the Bornemeier Death Grip came from his mother, who taught it to my auntie when my cousin was born, and she taught it to me when my son was born.