MissBtrayed
New Member
Imagine this… what would you think…
..if your marriage were quite crappy for a while, very off……and by the way… hubby working late, going in early, all of a sudden going to the gym, on a diet. He’d come home from work with all of the vehicle seats stowed, sometimes would leave all the doors open to “air it out”, don’t forget all the trips all of a sudden to get the vehicle detailed….odd injury on his knee that looked like a rug burn… and of course, things get worse, they get real bad, give him the boot. (or police remove him). This isn’t the first time things “aren’t working out”…
To avoid further court action, he weasels his way back into the house. He arranges night out with “new couple” (new to you anyway, he has known “them” for many years, and you have never heard of them…not either one of them) you go out – you notice “red flag” body language – she video tapes him, also. Next morning he runs out – wow, comes back with a cd already from the night before and says “the hubby of the new couple must’ve stuck it under his office door” –
Bunch more odd “coincidences” – her favorite song (a song about infidelity) he also had the lyrics for stashed under his jeans in the closet, etc. Kid mentions “I think daddy has a girlfriend ‘cause he was talking to some lady on his phone and said it was “uncle so and so”, but I could hear it was a girl”
So, you start digging….
Hubby’s cell phone (which had been password protected for the previous months- you figure out the password) and it has stored what appears to be a woman’s height, weight, shoe size, general size, and birth date, and a reminder in the calendar on the date for “(her initials) b-day today”. Then, when you confront him on it, he is angry at your looking through his stuff (never mind you have been married for 10 years) and runs out and gets the phone replaced at the phone store….then he….first, claims it is your info (wrong- not even close to your info), then second, for many days he claims it is info for court – ridiculous info too - (not sure how one could have court info months in advance of any incident even happening) then finally says it is “woman aboves” info – that they “worked on a project” for a “long time” and he wanted to get her a gift…
You check out his purchases on eBay lately – wow, nice lingerie – never showed up at home – size small – not your size (larger up top won’t fit a size small) he has never bought you a size small. Wow, nice jewelry too, never showed up at home, either…ask him, he deletes his eBay account…says it was “yours” but he threw it away….you ask him why a "small"? he says he emailed the seller sizes to make sure - you ask - what sizes did you send? the ones on your phone!! hahahaha
She calls hubby’s cell phone while he is in the shower on a Saturday, you tell him “someone” called (knowing it was her number) He pretends it was someone else, and calls the someone else and rambles on. Then all of a sudden just has to run an errand…..(duh, to call her back)
Check out cell phone billing – wow, look at all those calls and text messages to / from her – every morning, very early in the morning, noon, every evening, must be hundreds maybe thousands in the past few months – again, he is pissed that you are looking through his stuff – says they are….. “just friends” , ….were on a diet together…. and worked on/working on a big project together – he makes random comments, (which he now denies ever saying) like – “but she told me she didn’t love (her SO)”, “you forgave your fist husband” (err – duh – forgive, yes, continue in a marriage – no) “I couldn’t help it she looked like (his last girlfriend)” ….
Ok, you hear /see/know enough, been told enough lies (yes, there were more than listed above) – you move out.
A gentleman from work who happens to know all parties, mentions to the pastor how your hubby has an “odd relationship with a woman at work”
You mention the woman’s name to hubby’s dad – hubby’s dad says “oh, the woman from work”….realizing he did a booboo, he tries to back out of the conversation.
You mention her to a mutual friend who works in the same area – the friend says how he feels sorry for the woman’s husband, and how that kind of ignorance is not borne overnight – her hubby clueless, I guess.
One of your friends mentions she has seen your hubby having lunch with another woman many times
You are glad you moved out…..
He tries for months to convince you it is all nothing, really only just friends etc, he tells you he thinks she is fat, old looking and has bad hair, that if he were to cheat, he could do better than that, not his type, too loud, drinks too much, is too old, etc, he lays it on thick and often….you are trying to believe this is all “really nothing” (although you think she is actually pretty cute) …you are trying to believe he really didn’t do this…..and try to salvage the relationship…
Trust broken badly, and sincerely torn between what you believe, and what he is telling you and wanting you to believe…you are keeping your eyes open…he promises he has no contact whatsoever with this woman, has a new job, etc….
You find he has a bunch of nasty personal ads – he denies them – funny how they all tie back to his emails or eBay names, and even have same birthday info, etc – and low and behold, one even has a “who loves you” person attached which just so happens to be the same id as her eBay user id….interesting….
She leaves him messages on his work phone “hey, stop by my office before you leave, I got you a little pick me up”…. Or …on a Saturday night “Oh, I know what I was going to tell you - “Gorgeous” – that would be my one word to describe you – talk to ya later “ (note she doesn’t even leave her name…) He calls her and pretends to be angry about this in front of you…(.tells you he is raising the issue with his manager to get “her” to stop “harassing” him, etc)…
You call him on his cell phone during one of his “errands” – and he thinks he has hit “ignore” but instead answers, and he says, (thinking that he is still talking to her) “….you can’t come up to me like that in public, she has a huge network of friends that I don’t know about, so you have to keep it on the down-low” ….
You schedule him a Dr. appointment – he doesn’t know you have one at the same time, so when it is time to go, you both go. Guess who “randomly” shows up and opens the door near the end of the appointment? She does – and with the startled look on her face to see you, fumbles on her words saying that she “had to use the bathroom, opened the wrong door, and had an appointment in another building, etc and runs off…” – makes no sense…
He mentions to a visitor who stops by how work is going well, he is mentoring 4 people, etc – later, you ask who – he stumbles on the last of the 4 names…flag…..you see his IDP later, and wow, amazing, it wasn’t the guy he mentioned, it is actually her he is “mentoring” – (keep in mind their job types differ – this is “mentoring” with a choice) He tells you it is just “on paper” …. LIE again…
Dig a little deeper….Back to old cell phone bills because this all still really smells….
And you find…..One particular Friday, when they both would have been “off” – and you remember very well, that day….hubby was to go to the airport to pick up his father who would be staying with the kids while you and hubby went on vacation the next week – he says he needs to go in to work before vacation…then from there, he decides he is going to leave early for the airport so he can stop at the mall to get some clothes for vacation….well, well, well, the cell phone bill shows him calling her cell phone around noon time, and talking for a couple minutes, immediately after he called this 800 # and talked for at least 5 minutes, then immediately after that he had called her cell phone again for a few minutes….you look up the 800# - what was it? Motel 6….need I say anymore? You confront him on it, he says he can’t remember, says he will think of something you will believe, then a couple weeks later tries to tell you that someone had a Black Nomad car for sale along the road to the mall / airport with that 800 number on it to call….seriously – he really thinks I can and should believe this….
And, yet, she is still leaving messages on the work phone... “hey, I am out in town, let me know if I can pick you up some lunch, ....I was thinking about you, talk to ya later” (no need for her to leave her name?) – again, first he says he doesn’t remember, then says so what if someone brought me a salad, then says she felt sorry for him working so hard, then he tells you that he is going to bring it up with his manager, then says she didn't bring him anything, blah blah blah - ….don’t forget he has been telling you all along that he has absolutely no contact with this woman….(for a very long time now) …..but she is bringing him lunch….
I could list so many more things like this, and all, but you get the drift –
So – seriously, what would you think?
..if your marriage were quite crappy for a while, very off……and by the way… hubby working late, going in early, all of a sudden going to the gym, on a diet. He’d come home from work with all of the vehicle seats stowed, sometimes would leave all the doors open to “air it out”, don’t forget all the trips all of a sudden to get the vehicle detailed….odd injury on his knee that looked like a rug burn… and of course, things get worse, they get real bad, give him the boot. (or police remove him). This isn’t the first time things “aren’t working out”…
To avoid further court action, he weasels his way back into the house. He arranges night out with “new couple” (new to you anyway, he has known “them” for many years, and you have never heard of them…not either one of them) you go out – you notice “red flag” body language – she video tapes him, also. Next morning he runs out – wow, comes back with a cd already from the night before and says “the hubby of the new couple must’ve stuck it under his office door” –
Bunch more odd “coincidences” – her favorite song (a song about infidelity) he also had the lyrics for stashed under his jeans in the closet, etc. Kid mentions “I think daddy has a girlfriend ‘cause he was talking to some lady on his phone and said it was “uncle so and so”, but I could hear it was a girl”
So, you start digging….
Hubby’s cell phone (which had been password protected for the previous months- you figure out the password) and it has stored what appears to be a woman’s height, weight, shoe size, general size, and birth date, and a reminder in the calendar on the date for “(her initials) b-day today”. Then, when you confront him on it, he is angry at your looking through his stuff (never mind you have been married for 10 years) and runs out and gets the phone replaced at the phone store….then he….first, claims it is your info (wrong- not even close to your info), then second, for many days he claims it is info for court – ridiculous info too - (not sure how one could have court info months in advance of any incident even happening) then finally says it is “woman aboves” info – that they “worked on a project” for a “long time” and he wanted to get her a gift…
You check out his purchases on eBay lately – wow, nice lingerie – never showed up at home – size small – not your size (larger up top won’t fit a size small) he has never bought you a size small. Wow, nice jewelry too, never showed up at home, either…ask him, he deletes his eBay account…says it was “yours” but he threw it away….you ask him why a "small"? he says he emailed the seller sizes to make sure - you ask - what sizes did you send? the ones on your phone!! hahahaha
She calls hubby’s cell phone while he is in the shower on a Saturday, you tell him “someone” called (knowing it was her number) He pretends it was someone else, and calls the someone else and rambles on. Then all of a sudden just has to run an errand…..(duh, to call her back)
Check out cell phone billing – wow, look at all those calls and text messages to / from her – every morning, very early in the morning, noon, every evening, must be hundreds maybe thousands in the past few months – again, he is pissed that you are looking through his stuff – says they are….. “just friends” , ….were on a diet together…. and worked on/working on a big project together – he makes random comments, (which he now denies ever saying) like – “but she told me she didn’t love (her SO)”, “you forgave your fist husband” (err – duh – forgive, yes, continue in a marriage – no) “I couldn’t help it she looked like (his last girlfriend)” ….
Ok, you hear /see/know enough, been told enough lies (yes, there were more than listed above) – you move out.
A gentleman from work who happens to know all parties, mentions to the pastor how your hubby has an “odd relationship with a woman at work”
You mention the woman’s name to hubby’s dad – hubby’s dad says “oh, the woman from work”….realizing he did a booboo, he tries to back out of the conversation.
You mention her to a mutual friend who works in the same area – the friend says how he feels sorry for the woman’s husband, and how that kind of ignorance is not borne overnight – her hubby clueless, I guess.
One of your friends mentions she has seen your hubby having lunch with another woman many times
You are glad you moved out…..
He tries for months to convince you it is all nothing, really only just friends etc, he tells you he thinks she is fat, old looking and has bad hair, that if he were to cheat, he could do better than that, not his type, too loud, drinks too much, is too old, etc, he lays it on thick and often….you are trying to believe this is all “really nothing” (although you think she is actually pretty cute) …you are trying to believe he really didn’t do this…..and try to salvage the relationship…
Trust broken badly, and sincerely torn between what you believe, and what he is telling you and wanting you to believe…you are keeping your eyes open…he promises he has no contact whatsoever with this woman, has a new job, etc….
You find he has a bunch of nasty personal ads – he denies them – funny how they all tie back to his emails or eBay names, and even have same birthday info, etc – and low and behold, one even has a “who loves you” person attached which just so happens to be the same id as her eBay user id….interesting….
She leaves him messages on his work phone “hey, stop by my office before you leave, I got you a little pick me up”…. Or …on a Saturday night “Oh, I know what I was going to tell you - “Gorgeous” – that would be my one word to describe you – talk to ya later “ (note she doesn’t even leave her name…) He calls her and pretends to be angry about this in front of you…(.tells you he is raising the issue with his manager to get “her” to stop “harassing” him, etc)…
You call him on his cell phone during one of his “errands” – and he thinks he has hit “ignore” but instead answers, and he says, (thinking that he is still talking to her) “….you can’t come up to me like that in public, she has a huge network of friends that I don’t know about, so you have to keep it on the down-low” ….
You schedule him a Dr. appointment – he doesn’t know you have one at the same time, so when it is time to go, you both go. Guess who “randomly” shows up and opens the door near the end of the appointment? She does – and with the startled look on her face to see you, fumbles on her words saying that she “had to use the bathroom, opened the wrong door, and had an appointment in another building, etc and runs off…” – makes no sense…
He mentions to a visitor who stops by how work is going well, he is mentoring 4 people, etc – later, you ask who – he stumbles on the last of the 4 names…flag…..you see his IDP later, and wow, amazing, it wasn’t the guy he mentioned, it is actually her he is “mentoring” – (keep in mind their job types differ – this is “mentoring” with a choice) He tells you it is just “on paper” …. LIE again…
Dig a little deeper….Back to old cell phone bills because this all still really smells….
And you find…..One particular Friday, when they both would have been “off” – and you remember very well, that day….hubby was to go to the airport to pick up his father who would be staying with the kids while you and hubby went on vacation the next week – he says he needs to go in to work before vacation…then from there, he decides he is going to leave early for the airport so he can stop at the mall to get some clothes for vacation….well, well, well, the cell phone bill shows him calling her cell phone around noon time, and talking for a couple minutes, immediately after he called this 800 # and talked for at least 5 minutes, then immediately after that he had called her cell phone again for a few minutes….you look up the 800# - what was it? Motel 6….need I say anymore? You confront him on it, he says he can’t remember, says he will think of something you will believe, then a couple weeks later tries to tell you that someone had a Black Nomad car for sale along the road to the mall / airport with that 800 number on it to call….seriously – he really thinks I can and should believe this….
And, yet, she is still leaving messages on the work phone... “hey, I am out in town, let me know if I can pick you up some lunch, ....I was thinking about you, talk to ya later” (no need for her to leave her name?) – again, first he says he doesn’t remember, then says so what if someone brought me a salad, then says she felt sorry for him working so hard, then he tells you that he is going to bring it up with his manager, then says she didn't bring him anything, blah blah blah - ….don’t forget he has been telling you all along that he has absolutely no contact with this woman….(for a very long time now) …..but she is bringing him lunch….
I could list so many more things like this, and all, but you get the drift –
So – seriously, what would you think?
How have you been doing?
