Disaster At Union Seminary As Giant, Angry Carnivorous Plant Does Not Accept Students' Apologies

[Kyle]

HARLEM, NY—Union Seminary recent held a chapel service where its students could apologize to plants for their climate sins. Everything seemed to be going well as seminarians apologized for taking an Uber instead of walking, accidentally eating meat, and basically just existing at all.

Disaster At Union Seminary As Giant, Angry Carnivorous Plant Does Not Accept Students' Apologies

HARLEM, NY—Union Seminary recent held a chapel service where its students could apologize to plants for their climate sins. Everything seemed to be going well as seminarians apologized for taking an Uber instead of walking, accidentally eating meat, and basically just existing at all.

babylonbee.com

 

[BernieP]

with Bee Stings

 

[jazz lady]

"DESTROY ALL HUMANS!" it bellowed as it ate student after student who had confessed all their climate sins. "LEAF US ALONE! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! I DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR PITIFUL CARBON CREDITS, FOOLISH MORTALS!"