Distracted living

[BernieP]

I read it that she was in "auto-pilot" mode which is where you get from point A to B without any clear recognition on how you got there.... that's what happens to us when we use the mundane day to day trips as times when we think about everything but what we are doing... driving.

Oh crap, I had a rather long commute up a highway with numerous traffic lights, there were days I didn't recall how I got to the point I took the turn for the bridge.
I didn't fall asleep as I safely navigated the 30 plus miles of traffic, AND I made the turn off for the bridge. BUT it scared the heck out of me to realize I had basically no memory of the drive.

 

[RoseRed]

It was a write-off...

"Business" lunches.

 

[PeoplesElbow]

I can only speak for myself, but the ability to access email at all times has changed how we work.

Since I have changed jobs I have come to realize that there are a lot of people out there that don't actually work a full day but use their cell phone/email access to count that time as being at work. In my old job I had a real douche bag of a boss that actually got the security gate logs to see when people came in the gate (it wasn't the only gate however....) and would question people whenever they came in after 06:30.

I have ran into many people that work a CWS schedule, don't get to work until after 8 and still leave at 4 somehow.

 

[BOP]

I have a "TO DO" list on the wall and a notebook. Problem is this little thing called "INTERRUPTIONS". Or what we like to call, "Priority Interrupts"
Phone, email, foot traffic, interrupts come in all the time. The day starts with the best intentions of being organized and burning down that 'to do list".
It quickly decends into pissing on fires as fast as you can.

Sounds like most of my days.

Well put on the undocumented work time. Just feel the need to point out, and maybe it's redundant, that it goes for both contractors AND government folks. 9 out of 10 gov't workers I know, including yours truly (on occasion) take their computers home just to try and tread water - never mind get ahead of the game.

 

[Larry Gude]

This is not new.

People used to walk around reading books and bump into people, fall down man holes, not be aware of waitress's. The day after there were two cars in the same town there was the first problem at an intersection. The day after their were two horses and carriages in the same town, same problem.

This is not new. We are not special. We only think we are. We are man. Here us ignore.

 

[BadGirl]

Good for you and I'm glad no one was hurt beyond what it was.

But I think you're being too hard on yourself. You said you were thinking about this that and the other thing, but what caused you to swerve into the other lane was when you looked in the rear view at Bubba. I do that, steer where I look, which is why I focus so intently on what's ahead of me and can do all sorts of things in my car without taking my eyes off the road. I think many people do that and, sure, it can cause accidents or near misses, but I wouldn't say you were "distracted" because it doesn't sound like you spaced out and forgot you were driving.

Or did I misunderstand?

I read it that she was in "auto-pilot" mode which is where you get from point A to B without any clear recognition on how you got there.... that's what happens to us when we use the mundane day to day trips as times when we think about everything but what we are doing... driving.

Actually, if I want to freely admit what was going on during that timeframe, at the time of the accident, I'd say that I was having a mini-meltdown. I was so stressed out about a million things going through my head at the same time, that I lost focus on my driving. It's horrible to admit this, because I now recognize the danger that I put others in, as well as endangering my loved-ones. I don't think I was in "auto-pilot", but really in a Perfect Storm of Distracted Driving.

It's neither here-nor-there, on whether I was "distracted" or not, but I'll claim that title. I was so distracted by my (to me!) overwhelming responsibilities that I put others in danger. I own it.

My take-away from this is to, simply, not be a bonehead again. Keep attention where it needs to be...on the road, other drivers, and in my participation in sharing the road safely.

 

[MMM_donuts]

You can only blame yourself if you chose to put in less work and then don't see the same progress as others. I don't care what other people think about it, I intend to be the one that gets the promotion. If you want to prioritize your family above your work, fine, but be aware that there are people like me out there that put their professional achievements first.

I'll work extra hours if I need to. I do things outside of my work hours to ensure that I am not only competitive but well ahead of my counterparts.

You can keep your maternity leave, sick days, smoke breaks, and water cooler social hour. I'll be getting stuff done. After hours I'll decompress appropriately and take care of my health to ensure that my energy level is high, my attitude is positive, and my appearance is professional. Everything is a learning experience, even this forum. I'm not here to be social, I'm here to learn how to communicate with others that I wouldn't normally interact with to ensure I'll be able to do it if the moment ever presents itself.

My husband and I feel the same way about it. This is how we've broken the generations of trailer park trash we came from to generating six figure incomes. It is what makes us happy and we have no intentions of slowing down.

Btw, all my lists, calendars, even discount cards are also on my devices which sync automatically to other devices and the cloud. If I want to reference something, it's right there with my phone, as are my reminders and alarms. I don't even need to find a pen and paper. If something happens to my phone, I have back ups. I'm also familiar enough with software and technology that I can likely get you what you need and figure out how to accomplish the mission no matter what environment I'm in.

It's cool if you don't want to utilize the technology or if pens and paper work better for you but this is what has helped me to be successful like I want to be and I intend to stick with it.

I find it humorous that the general theme of this thread is that people should be less selfish and more aware of others.......by doing things the way you (the collective) would prefer them to be done. Someone somewhere has impeded your plan, be it on the road or wherever, and now you want them to conform to your opinion of what works best? No thanks.

 

[vraiblonde]

You can keep your maternity leave, sick days, smoke breaks, and water cooler social hour. I'll be getting stuff done. After hours I'll decompress appropriately and take care of my health to ensure that my energy level is high, my attitude is positive, and my appearance is professional. Everything is a learning experience, even this forum. I'm not here to be social, I'm here to learn how to communicate with others that I wouldn't normally interact with to ensure I'll be able to do it if the moment ever presents itself.

My husband and I feel the same way about it. This is how we've broken the generations of trailer park trash we came from to generating six figure incomes.

And that's how it works I have to say, I'm pleased that you use these forums for a tangible purpose: to better your communication skills. It makes me feel like I'm contributing something more worthwhile than just providing a venue for hostility and ignorance.

Someone somewhere has impeded your plan, be it on the road or wherever, and now you want them to conform to your opinion of what works best?

I just don't want someone else's inattention to become my problem. They can do what they please as long as it doesn't impact me - how they accomplish that is their business.

 

[vraiblonde]

My take-away from this is to, simply, not be a bonehead again. Keep attention where it needs to be...on the road, other drivers, and in my participation in sharing the road safely.

And there you go. Accidents happen. We're not robots here. Most of the time our brain farts have no consequence; sometimes they cause a minor problem; occasionally they have tragic results. Most of the time we go, "Holy chit!" and make a mental note to be more conscious of what we're doing in the future.

However:

Husband comes home and says, "Honey, I wasn't paying attention and backed into another car. " You're going to have a reaction of some form.

Husband comes home and says, "Honey, I wasn't paying attention and now our child is dead." The reaction is going to be much stronger.

It's a matter of degree and how much inattention we're talking about.

 

[MMM_donuts]

And that's how it works I have to say, I'm pleased that you use these forums for a tangible purpose: to better your communication skills. It makes me feel like I'm contributing something more worthwhile than just providing a venue for hostility and ignorance. I just don't want someone else's inattention to become my problem. They can do what they please as long as it doesn't impact me - how they accomplish that is their business.

I think this forum has been an integral factor in my ability to communicate with southern Marylanders, thus improving my overall ability to communicate.

And cope. I continue to struggle with experiencing emotional reactions to some arguments but overall I think it's helped me look past the initial emotional reaction and hear what the person is saying. Most of the time. Well, sometimes. It's a work in progress.

I agree with part of what you said. I also don't want someone else's inattention to negatively impact me but there's a point, IMO, where it's important to learn how to deal with other people's impact on our plans. Learn to work with it or around it. It's part of that path to wisdom thing.

It's good that we discuss it to explore different perspectives and sometimes to bond over like practices but sitting around complaining about it is really just perpetuating the problem.

 

[vraiblonde]

but sitting around complaining about it is really just perpetuating the problem.

Eh, some problems have no solution and griping about it makes you feel temporarily better. Until I perfect my Simon Bar Sinister Phoney Booth, I can't control the actions of other people - all I can do is bitch about it.

 

[BernieP]

You can only blame yourself if you chose to put in less work and then don't see the same progress as others. I don't care what other people think about it, I intend to be the one that gets the promotion. If you want to prioritize your family above your work, fine, but be aware that there are people like me out there that put their professional achievements first.

I'll work extra hours if I need to. I do things outside of my work hours to ensure that I am not only competitive but well ahead of my counterparts.

I am trying to unlearn this bad habit. My employer has made it clear there are no promotions to be had, in fact positions have given new titles that imply a reduction in the scope of work to go along with the reduction in pay.

 

[MMM_donuts]

I am trying to unlearn this bad habit. My employer has made it clear there are no promotions to be had, in fact positions have given new titles that imply a reduction in the scope of work to go along with the reduction in pay.

Taking your hard working self elsewhere isn't an option?

Or do you enjoy and prefer having a limit set that allows you to relax for a while?

 

[BernieP]

Taking your hard working self elsewhere isn't an option?

Or do you enjoy and prefer having a limit set that allows you to relax for a while?

I am working on option A, waiving goodbye to a leadership that claims they appreciate our hard work and devotion (because they don't)

Just because they say we will no longer be responsible for X does not mean they mean it. We will continue to be held responsible for the work, it just won't be in the PD.
What people don't understand is that STRL is much like private industry, you aren't rated against a standard, your standard is adjusted based on your experience and past performance (i.e. there are expectations). Fewer people does not mean schedules or the quaity of the product can slip. Us highly valued employees must simply "work smarter". Another one of those catch phrases that someone who doesn't have to do the job uses. If you had 4 people and a day to move 100 pounds of rocks and you lost 3 of those people, they would tell you that "you'll just have to work harder to move those rocks in one day with one person". Then they would add that because of budget cuts wheel barrows are not available.

Down scaling my effort would be teaching an old dog new tricks. Bad habits are hard to break. Seriously, it was only under penalty of law that I scaled back my work week during sequestration. Being literally run out of the building and then locked out.

 

[tipsymcgee]

When people text/email on their phones and hold up lines, don't decide or take time to know what they want, and then act all aloof when they piss someone off, I could put them in a rear naked choke hold until they tap out.

 

[Larry Gude]

When people text/email on their phones and hold up lines, don't decide or take time to know what they want, and then act all aloof when they piss someone off, I could put them in a rear naked choke hold until they tap out.

You need a hobby. Something physical.

 

[kom526]

I have. My entire life is now on my handheld. Shopping lists, doctors, projects, complete calendar of events, and on and on. Completely integrated into my blue-tooth truck for phone, contacts, Pandora...

#1stworldproblems

Only retired guys have enough time to play with all the gizmos in new vehicles.

 

[kom526]

Oh crap, I had a rather long commute up a highway with numerous traffic lights, there were days I didn't recall how I got to the point I took the turn for the bridge.
I didn't fall asleep as I safely navigated the 30 plus miles of traffic, AND I made the turn off for the bridge. BUT it scared the heck out of me to realize I had basically no memory of the drive.

Everyday of my life^^. I see the road, the lines, the oncoming traffic but have no idea where I am; on a route I have driven for over 20 years.

 

[BernieP]

Everyday of my life^^. I see the road, the lines, the oncoming traffic but have no idea where I am; on a route I have driven for over 20 years.

scary isn't it. I think it's a form of distraction called boredom. Same road, same scenery, same traffic day in, day out. Damn, I meant to turn in at First Colony to get the prescription filled
Sometimes you forget those things that break the routine. I've done that a number of times, right before leaving the office you make the plan. Somewhere between there and home you forgot plan B and reverted to plan A.

 

[Larry Gude]

Eh, some problems have no solution and griping about it makes you feel temporarily better. Until I perfect my Simon Bar Sinister Phoney Booth, I can't control the actions of other people - all I can do is bitch about it.

Griping is part of the process of finding a solution.