Do I look Fat? how to answer

[nachomama]

Guys...they try, but they have no clue. My BIL bought my sister some panties and he bought a size 10, because that was her pants size...well, he didn't realize that pants and panties go by different sizing rules. Those suckers were way to big.

Didn't he hold them up first? Surely you'd think he did and would say "her azz ain't THAT big..."

 

[migtig]

I posted this question below in Gene Weingarten's chat:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2006/07/18/DI2006071800724.html




I'm still left with this question - does wanting someone to "drop everything" to analyze your appearance, no matter what your gender, indicate a lack of self-esteem? Surely there are some women who dress to please themselves and don't care what anyone else thinks about their dresses, even their husbands or boyfriends.

Maybe the man or woman who asks, isn't receiving any compliments and wants to be reassured that his/her partner finds them attractive. :shrug:

 

[LordStanley]

My wife asked me that question... I answered back with Sir Mix a Lots, Baby got back song....

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha................


She has never asked me again

 

[Nickel]

I'm still left with this question - does wanting someone to "drop everything" to analyze your appearance, no matter what your gender, indicate a lack of self-esteem?

I would think that depends on the nature of the question asked. When getting ready to go somewhere, sometimes I (or Dustin) will turn to the other and ask "Does this look okay?" (or some variant of that). I wouldn't say that either of us suffers from low self esteem; rather, we're sort of confirming that we're both on par with the level of dress required.

 

[USNavyMike]

Why is it that only fat women ask this question, perhaps to get confirmation or to get a reply no sweety, go right ahead and eat another doughnut.. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

 

[flomaster]

I have been put in this position many times. You can only hide so much. If the spouse asks then I just come back with if you think you are then you should do something about it. If you are happy with the way you look then that's great. I am not built to Statue Of David specs so I don't expect it in my significant other. Just my take on the subject.

 

[SamSpade]

Dave Barry says there's only one acceptable response to this question.


Jump out the window.

It doesn't matter if you're twenty stories up, because you're doomed anyway, but your chances are BETTER if you jump than if you stay and say ANYTHING.

 

[Tonio]

Maybe the man or woman who asks, isn't receiving any compliments and wants to be reassured that his/her partner finds them attractive. :shrug:

I suspect in those cases, it isn't one partner's lack of self-esteem but a deeper problem in the relationship.

 

[Tonio]

I would think that depends on the nature of the question asked. When getting ready to go somewhere, sometimes I (or Dustin) will turn to the other and ask "Does this look okay?" (or some variant of that). I wouldn't say that either of us suffers from low self esteem; rather, we're sort of confirming that we're both on par with the level of dress required.

I can understand that. Your situation is about the outfit, not the person. I'm talking about situations where one partner is focusing on his or her body as the alleged problem, not the outfit.

 

[bcp]

I can understand that. Your situation is about the outfit, not the person. I'm talking about situations where one partner is focusing on his or her body as the alleged problem, not the outfit.

If its your wife, I dont see much room for comments on her weight.
Marriage has little room for being shallow when it comes to the feelings of your partner.











Posted for safety on the chance that she one day posts here.

 

[Tonio]

Marriage has little room for being shallow when it comes to the feelings of your partner.

You're correct about marriages, although I have only experienced the phenomenon in dating relationships. It has nothing to do with the your shallowness. It has to do your partner putting you in a no-win situation because the partner wants you to boost his or her self-esteem. The irony of the situation is that nothing you say can help the partner's esteem, because that is something the partner must raise on his or her own.

 

[migtig]

You're correct about marriages, although I have only experienced the phenomenon in dating relationships. It has nothing to do with the your shallowness. It has to do your partner putting you in a no-win situation because the partner wants you to boost his or her self-esteem. The irony of the situation is that nothing you say can help the partner's esteem, because that is something the partner must raise on his or her own.

I asked Saturday night if I looked okay, and I have fabulous self-esteem. I am a goddess in training.

 

[Ehesef]

Surely there are some women who dress to please themselves and don't care what anyone else thinks about their dresses, even their husbands or boyfriends.

These are the women you see on TV that weigh 600 lbs and are dressed head to toe in spandex.

 

[bcp]

These are the women you see on TV that weigh 600 lbs and are dressed head to toe in spandex.

there should be some sort of license issued before you can wear spandex.
or maybe the government should step in and make it illegal to make spandex clothing in certain sizes.

 

[oldnavy]

If asked...my answer would go something like this....

Honey, you always look great to me. We have both probably put on a few pounds that we could afford to lose and maybe we should look into doing that together.

 

[Daffy]

One year, I showed my then-hubby a dress that I wanted from a catalog. The sweetheart ordered it for me - no special reason, wasn't my birthday, he just knew that I wanted it.

Imagine my surprise when the package came in the mail. Imagine my anger when I opened it to find a size 12. I am no where near a 12. That was the beginning of the end for us...

Was it too large or too small? :shrug:

 

[Dupontster]

Does this kini make my butt looks big?