My oldest had 3 sets. First time, he had tubes put in. They were pushed out (which is normal) and he had tubes put in again and adenoids removed. Those tubes fell out. Third time, he had a permanent set put in and they were then removed when he was about 5.
Yes, most often the problem is outgrown. The eustachian tubes are just small on some kids and the fluid doesn't drain properly. The fluid can be from allergies, colds, etc. or just because. Otitis media in nothing to fool with. With the buildup of fluid, the eardrum can rupture and/or nerves can be damaged and children can have permanent hearing loss. Also with the fluid in the ears, the children hear as if they are under water and they are unable to hear words and sounds properly which can affect their speech development. My son had CONSTANT ear infections and horrendous pain that I wouldn't wish on any child. I mean he'd get an ear infection, go on meds then off meds for 10 days, recheck..fine, and 3 days later another ear infection. This went on for 2 years. I had a tremendous ENT who told me that my son would indeed outgrow this problem but it wasn't worth the pain and potential hearing loss. Children that have severe, recurrent ear infections should be treated by an ENT and an audiologist who performs hearing tests and other tests that include the pressure on the ear drum.
Yes, some drs. want to put tubes in too quickly and just as with any medical procedure sometimes it isn't necessary. In my son's case, it was very well worth it.
When my second son came along, he had a few ear infections and given my oldest's history, we decided to go with the tubes. I don't believe he's ever had another infection.
You should probably do some research and maybe get a second opinion.