Fathers with Daughters

[GSXR_MOE]

For all Dads with daughters, I've got a quick questions......

At what age did you let your little girl go to a public bathroom by herself??

My daughter is 5 yrs old, and when we are out I have been taking her to the men’s bathroom; but I think she might be getting a little too old for that......

Of course she can go by herself, but I'm not sure she (probably more like i'm not ready) is ready to go in a public bathroom... I'm just curious to her the opinions of the other fathers.....

 

[aps45819]

When my daughter was capable of going without help, I let her do it.
Chain resturant restrooms don't have windows of back doors (prevents the dine-n-dash), and I watch the door like a hawk and make mental notes of the description of any other patrons going in.
Your waitress will probably check on her if she's gone to long.

 

[donbarzini]

She's 17 now, but I remember it was around when she reached school age. So I would guess, for you, that's right about now.

 

[GSXR_MOE]

When my daughter was capable of going without help, I let her do it.
Chain resturant restrooms don't have windows of back doors (prevents the dine-n-dash), and I watch the door like a hawk and make mental notes of the description of any other patrons going in.
Your waitress will probably check on her if she's gone to long.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.. I was thinking about the places like the mall.. You know there are alot of people coming in and out... I think I'm just going to have to sit by the door so I can talk to my daughter though the door way if she is taking too long... But I don't want to creep any of the women out....

That is a very good idea about making a mental note of all persons going in... and asking a waitress to go in if she is taking too long...

thanks for the suggestions..

 

[belvak]

Just one more thing to keep in mind, many places are now making Family restrooms available. Worth asking (i.e. at the mall) if there is one and where it is located.

 

[GSXR_MOE]

Just one more thing to keep in mind, many places are now making Family restrooms available. Worth asking (i.e. at the mall) if there is one and where it is located.

Yeah I was going to use the family restroom in the mall, but there was someone in there. We were waiting for the person(s) to finish, but they were taking too long... (You know how it is when the little one has to go... I didn't want an "accident")

It looked like the family bathroom was still occupied when we left the bathroom... for some reason it made me think that there might be some people in there doing something they weren't suppose to be doing.. (drugs or teens having sex) I don't know why I thought that, I just had that feeling.

 

[Cowgirl]

I think I'm just going to have to sit by the door so I can talk to my daughter though the door way if she is taking too long... But I don't want to creep any of the women out....

I wouldn't be creeped out. I'd be happy that a father cared enough about his daughter to keep a close eye on her.

 

[onebdzee]

When my daughter was capable of going without help, I let her do it.
Chain resturant restrooms don't have windows of back doors (prevents the dine-n-dash), and I watch the door like a hawk and make mental notes of the description of any other patrons going in.
Your waitress will probably check on her if she's gone to long.

I'm on the other side of this also....I did the same with my boys

If the boys were taking to long(they seemed to like playing in the water while they were "washing their hands")....I usually pushed on the door a little and called for them or asked one of the guys going in to check and make sure they didn't fall in

 

[bcp]

It was a problem to be sure.
the mall has those familiy type restrooms, so there I would go in and sit in the chair while she did her thing. I was able to see the stall door the whole time.
other than that, Pan Lady was responsible for the pee stops.

plus back then we had the conversion van and I put a RV/Marine style toilet in it to accommodate her when we were in places that I thought to be not the safest.

 

[Radiant1]

I wouldn't be creeped out. I'd be happy that a father cared enough about his daughter to keep a close eye on her.

I'm on the other side of this also....I did the same with my boys

If the boys were taking to long(they seemed to like playing in the water while they were "washing their hands")....I usually pushed on the door a little and called for them or asked one of the guys going in to check and make sure they didn't fall in

Personally I don't mind if a man calls for his child to make sure she's ok and once my boys were about the same age (5) I'd do the same thing with the men's room (and they always had to play at the sink, grrrr). Most women are understanding of such things, and if they're not then tough, you have a daddy duty.

 

[morningbell]

There are some places I allow my son to go by himself, some places I don't and if I have to go he must come in with me.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I don't see anything wrong with her going into the men's room with you so you can keep an eye on her. Too many weirdo's now a days. Always better to be safe then sorry.

As a suggestion, you may want to peek in first to make sure there is no one standing at the urinal before going in and the same before she leaves the stall.

I've also had fathers ask me to keep an eye on their girls in the ladies room. I don't have a problem with that. One dad sent in a little girl with overalls on by herself. She was about 4ish. She couldn't unbuckle the pants, nor snap them back up. I assisted her and let her father know it wasn't a good idea to send her in by herself with clothing she couldn't handle on her own.

 

[aps45819]

... (You know how it is when the little one has to go... I didn't want an "accident")

In places that told me they didnt have a public restroom, I'd set her up on the counter next to the cash register and tell her the lady says it's OK to have an accident

I wouldn't be creeped out. I'd be happy that a father cared enough about his daughter to keep a close eye on her.

All you see is some guy leaning against the wall next to the ladies room.

I felt creepy doing that

 

[deemerma]

It's still taking a chance, but you could ask a mother who is taking her daughter in to keep an eye out for her. Otherwise, I'd carry her into the men's room with me swiftly and into the stall, or stand by the door of the ladies room--and if anyone has a problem with it tell them to stay home and they won't have to see you standing outside of the women's room! I'll have to ask my hubby if he's had this issue, it really never occured to me what he would/should do when on an outing with our daughter alone...scary business. You've got to look out for her best interest no matter what you decide...whatever that means in each individual situation. Crap, this is going to happen with me and my boy eventually...good topic!

 

[CalvertNewbie]

There are some places I allow my son to go by himself, some places I don't and if I have to go he must come in with me.

Good point. What if the parent has to go? I wouldn't want to leave a 5 year old alone in a mall, outside the bathroom door either. I hope we have a girl, it'll make things a lot easier for me.

 

[Radiant1]

Good point. What if the parent has to go? I wouldn't want to leave a 5 year old alone in a mall, outside the bathroom door either. I hope we have a girl, it'll make things a lot easier for me.

You bring them in with you or you hold it! :shrug:

 

[MDTerps]

Good point. What if the parent has to go? I wouldn't want to leave a 5 year old alone in a mall, outside the bathroom door either. I hope we have a girl, it'll make things a lot easier for me.

I have a boy and you just find ways to work around it. If I was in the mall I would try to use one of the stores bathroom. Less people tend to use them. I would make boy stand right outside the door so I could see his feet if I had to go. He used the ladies room up until he started making a fuss about. I would then again use a store rest room and stand outside the door. If he took to long I would open the door just a bit and yell his name. One time he didn't answer me and I almost went in after him.

I went to New York & Company clothing one time. I wanted to try on clothes and they wouldn't let my son go to the changing room with me. So I simply said well I guess you just lost a sale and walked out. There was no way I was leaving my 7 year old son out in that store only.

 

[Dymphna]

Boys going into the women's room aren't going to see anything inappropriate because the women all have individual stalls. Women are not going to worry about a young boy hanging out by the sink waiting for mom to come out of a stall. The men's room has urinals and the girls could easily see something inappropriate.

I'm lucky with my boys also because they are only 2 years apart. By the time they started feeling uncomfortable about going into the women's room, they could go together and watch out for each other.

My daughter is 5 and my husband doesn't take her into the men's room. He stands outside the door, he sometimes asks a mother with daughters to keep an eye on her. He stays near the door and listens for her...she tends to sing in the bathroom, so you know she's ok. If she were to call for help, I don't think a woman in the world would be too upset if he went to her aid, for the same reason they don't mind the boys being there...all the stalls have doors. If I were a father in that situation and I felt I needed to go in, I'd announce my intention to anyone who might be in there and apologize for the need to do it, but the little girl has to come first, the other patrons will get over it.

 

[CalvertNewbie]

I have a boy and you just find ways to work around it. If I was in the mall I would try to use one of the stores bathroom. Less people tend to use them. I would make boy stand right outside the door so I could see his feet if I had to go. He used the ladies room up until he started making a fuss about. I would then again use a store rest room and stand outside the door. If he took to long I would open the door just a bit and yell his name. One time he didn't answer me and I almost went in after him.

I went to New York & Company clothing one time. I wanted to try on clothes and they wouldn't let my son go to the changing room with me. So I simply said well I guess you just lost a sale and walked out. There was no way I was leaving my 7 year old son out in that store only.

That's really harsh. Your son was only 7 - what was the big deal about him going into a dressing room with you? I'm surprised they'd lose a customer over that. I bet if your son was acting like a little terror, they wouldn't want him in the store unattended, while you tried the clothes on.

 

[Sindy]

Just take your daughter into the ladies room and stand outside the stall. I'm a mother with two boys and I took mine into the ladies room until they got old enough for the men's room. I would then stand outside the mens room and if they took longer than a minute I would open the door and start calling their names. If they didn't answer, I would yell "coming in" and go looking for them. No-one ever got upset. Too many perverts out there for my comfort and I would never be bothered if I saw a guy in the ladies room with his daughter. I would be upset if I saw a little girl trying to take care of herself....and I have seen that and helped. You have my respect for at least caring and thinking about how to deal with it. I think mothers with sons have it easier when it comes to bathrooms. Do what's right for you and your daughter and don't rely on strangers to take care of your girl. There are heartless women out there too.