Tards ruin field trip
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When I was a sophomore in high school my JV basketball coach was a teacher (read: glorified babysitter) for the sped school associated with the high school. One day he came to practice and it just looked like he was going to snap--then he told us about his day.
He and the other "teacher" (can you still be called a teacher if your students never learn anything?) took a bus full of these tards to the local bowling alley for a field trip. Though there were countless comedies in progress that day, the main show was this HUGE tard named Linda. Now when I say huge, I mean she was about 5'8" tall and 256 pounds. How do I know it was 256? My coach weighed her (I'm assuming for some sort of record keeping purpose, not simply for his amusement, though I could be wrong). Anyhow, this was a big girl, and she was strong as an ox. Now my coach is no slouch--6'6" black former college basketball player--and even he didn't mess with Linda when she was flipping out.
Well, they were at the bowling alley and all was well, until Linda #### her pants. Apparently she was having so much fun bowling that she refused to answer the call of her bowels. This, of course, sends the other tards into mayhem.
Again, I reiterate that Linda is 256 lbs. The is #### all over her pants, the smell is clearing out the bowling alley, and Linda, who now has realized that she needed to go to drop a deuce, barricades herself in one of the bathroom stalls. While my coach's associate rounds up the other tards and gets them on the bus, my coach goes into the bathroom and tries to calm Linda down. The short bus takes the other tards back to school and the associate sends a change of clothes to my coach at the bowling alley for Linda (they had a change of clothes at the school for her because apparently this is a regular occurrence).
Coach finally gets this girl calmed down, but now faces an even more daunting task--cleaning up and changing the tard. He didn't go into details on that, but he did say that if he hadn't just had a kid he would have quit that day. He no longer supervises the tards, instead he teaches young hoodlums word processing at my ghetto-fabulous school.
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