Sen. John Kennedy Delivers Glorious Remarks on Biden and the 'Truth'
“I cannot imagine what the world would be like without our country,” he said.
“The truth is common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C.; I know, I’ve seen it first-hand,” Kennedy declared. “I wonder sometimes how some people in Washington, D.C., actually made it through the birth canal. The truth is we’re going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. Because all the old ones came true. The truth is that Americans aren’t perfect, we’re not. But the other side is crazy.”
Americans do not deserve to be governed, Kennedy explained, “by deeply weird, nauseously woke people, who hate George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Dr. Seuss, and Mr. Potato Head; who hyperventilate on their yoga mats if you use the wrong pronoun; who think kids should be able to change their gender at recess; who carry around Ziploc bags of kale to give them energy; and who think they are better than us.”
“By the way, to me, kale tastes like I’d rather be fat,” Kennedy exclaimed.