Got my mom ready to move into a nursing home

Monello

Monello

Smarter than the average bear
PREMO Member
Well we got everything done before our noon deadline today. The movers came and got a few pieces of furniture.

Mom move in was to be at 2pm. But it only partially happened.

Today at 12:45pm, she informed me that she wasn't ready to move in. As in, I'm not going today. Then she listed all the reasons why she needed to stay back. I told her I needed to leave, being here dealing with this for almost a month. She was fine with staying alone, except now she doesn't even have a TV or couch here. She never drove, so unless someone physically delivers here there, she will sit here forever.

The compromise was I took her there today to pay and sign all the papers. She got a room and it's ready to go. Then I signed her out for the night, taking her back tomorrow morning at 10am. If she resists tomorrow morning, I don't have a clue what I'm going to do. I may just pack up and head south.

For 12 days i've been humping all sorts of bins and suitcases for her to go through. How difficult is it to pick 15 outfits and pack them up? But that is where we are at. I got home & took a nap from the stress. I still have 18 or so hours to get through to finally make this happen.

Worst part is, after being alone for years, she will be thrilled to have other humans to interact with on a daily basis. I can't wait to tell her I told you so.
 
PJay

PJay

Well-Known Member
Try to be gentle and understanding.. this is a very big change and difficult time for her.

Often wish I had a mother and if could.. I would come and take yours....:lol:
 
1

1stGenSMIB

Active Member
PeoplesElbow said:
The hardest things we will ever have to do. I plan on moving to some really remote cabin and either freeze to death in the winter or be eaten by a bear.
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I have told my wife that when it is my time, please set the autopilot at Cedar Point on the boat so I can clear the Rt13 Ches Bridge, and I should die before I hit Africa (and the boat sinks) I hope. If I happen to get marooned on Bermuda..I am sorry to the UK. Scuttle.
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Monello said:
Well we got everything done before our noon deadline today. The movers came and got a few pieces of furniture.

Mom move in was to be at 2pm. But it only partially happened.

Today at 12:45pm, she informed me that she wasn't ready to move in. As in, I'm not going today. Then she listed all the reasons why she needed to stay back. I told her I needed to leave, being here dealing with this for almost a month. She was fine with staying alone, except now she doesn't even have a TV or couch here. She never drove, so unless someone physically delivers here there, she will sit here forever.

The compromise was I took her there today to pay and sign all the papers. She got a room and it's ready to go. Then I signed her out for the night, taking her back tomorrow morning at 10am. If she resists tomorrow morning, I don't have a clue what I'm going to do. I may just pack up and head south.

For 12 days i've been humping all sorts of bins and suitcases for her to go through. How difficult is it to pick 15 outfits and pack them up? But that is where we are at. I got home & took a nap from the stress. I still have 18 or so hours to get through to finally make this happen.

Worst part is, after being alone for years, she will be thrilled to have other humans to interact with on a daily basis. I can't wait to tell her I told you so.
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As frustrating it is for you (and I do competely understand!) it's a very emotionally tough thing to do - to leave a whole lifetime behind.

:huggy: for you both - I'm in tears just writing this because hindsight is 20/20 and I recall what I went through with my mom. It wasn't easy, and she wasn't in great health, so that was a different type of transition. I know a good's night sleep gives a different perspective, so I'm sure you've already processed the fact that you're helping your mom at a time in her life when she really needs you. She'll be ok when she can process this, and you're a saint for being able to help her get through this stage.
 
Monello

Monello

Smarter than the average bear
PREMO Member
My mom was in a temporary room the first few days. The room she wanted needed to be prepped and that was going to take a few days. So in the meanwhile, she was across the hall in a studio room. Just a single room with 2 closets and a bathroom.

Now mom has moved to the bigger room. But the sitting area is actually smaller. Because half of the unit is the bedroom. But that was the tradeoff in taking the overall larger total square footage room. So she either learns to live with the space she has or downsizes. Downsizing would save a decent amount of money each month.

So this saga is sort of never ending. It's all about getting comfortable in a new & strange environment. It's never going to be perfect. Other than the room size issue, she likes everything else about the place so far.
 
Sneakers

Sneakers

Just sneakin' around....
Getting mom and dad to realize just how small the room footprints are was tough after living in big houses their whole lives. Mom was really upset when her dining room table and chairs wouldn't fit.

When we moved dad into the AL home, it was a brand new facility, no residents yet, he was the first in. My brothers and I studied the floor plans, window views, access points and chose the room that had the best of it all. The view from his 2nd floor windows were of woods and open fields, no parking lots or buildings. Not sure he ever really appreciated what he had.
 
Gilligan

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Sneakers said:
Getting mom and dad to realize just how small the room footprints are was tough after living in big houses their whole lives. Mom was really upset when her dining room table and chairs wouldn't fit.
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I was impressed by how readily my grandparents handed down prized furntiture, china, silver..all the "things" a large and financially successful family accumulates over the years, when they moved to an assisted living facility. Had to downsize even more when grandfather passed and grandmother relocated to a single-room more "hospital-like" area due to her medical issues. She seemed so nonchalant about it .."OK,,you get this and I want them to have that, and whoever wants the other...and so on". Hell, I've seen other families practically permanently fractured because the "wrong sister got the best china"..LOL
 
Kyle

Kyle

Beloved Misanthrope
PREMO Member
Gilligan said:
I was impressed by how readily my grandparents handed down prized furntiture, china, silver..all the "things" a large and financially successful family accumulates over the years, when they moved to an assisted living facility. Had to downsize even more when grandfather passed and grandmother relocated to a single-room more "hospital-like" area due to her medical issues. She seemed so nonchalant about it .."OK,,you get this and I want them to have that, and whoever wants the other...and so on". Hell, I've seen other families practically permanently fractured because the "wrong sister got the best china"..LOL
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I'm leaving "the good paper plates" to my sister and my prized collection of unknown assorted keys to my ex.
 
Gilligan

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Sneakers said:
:lol: We all do.....
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I can't help it. I have piles of keys that have no known purpose. But every time I find another key somewhere, I use the same rationalization for putting it with the rest: ""This might fit something important".
 
frequentflier

frequentflier

happy to be living
Gilligan said:
I can't help it. I have piles of keys that have no known purpose. But every time I find another key somewhere, I use the same rationalization for putting it with the rest: ""This might fit something important".
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Have you ever been to the Island Hideaway in Solomons? They have (or had- it's been awhile since I've eaten there) a collage like art piece on the wall made out of a lot of different keys. It is VERY cool and I've always wanted to make one. Unfortunately, I am not as crafty and creative as I'd like to be.
 
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