Guys keep ghosting me — so I created this ‘exit survey’ to find out why

GURPS

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
In the recent clip, which boasts almost 90,000 views, she broke down her questionnaire and even offered PDF versions for other users to download should they decide to use the survey for themselves.

D’Agostini sent the questions to a recent ex — who has yet to respond.

“So I recently got ghosted by a guy who I didn’t even like, which was obviously devastating, and I emailed him this ghosting exit survey to fill out,” she says in her TikTok video.

“And feel free to use this at your leisure,” she adds, urging her followers to also take part in the feedback.

The first question reads: “Please provide a one to two sentence example of why you did it.”


nypost.com

Guys keep ghosting me — so I created this ‘exit survey’ to find out why

She’s haunted by her history of being ghosted by dates and exes.
nypost.com nypost.com
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
I'm curious how a ghosting by a man she wasn't even interested in would be "devastating". If I was not interested in someone and they ghosted me, I might not really even NOTICE.

I've never been ghosted - or at least I don't think I have - I may have but didn't notice because I wasn't involved enough - but I have done it twice and both times for the exact same reason - just way too clingy and needy. Called constantly. Wanted to be with me all the damned time - even my wife doesn't want that. I was suffocated and distinctly got the impression they didn't want ME around so much as have a warm pulse.

One of them continued to call me at work, but wouldn't say anything on the phone.

Assuming the exit survey is meant for amusement - or her comments are - the survey itself is a good indicator of why she was ghosted. Instead of accepting she dodged a bullet, she needs to know WHY.
 
GURPS

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
SamSpade said:
- the survey itself is a good indicator of why she was ghosted. Instead of accepting she dodged a bullet, she needs to know WHY.
Click to expand...


Ghosting is a huge fact of life in dating these days ... Tinder, Bumble, Hinge ...

constant and continuous


1. Make a match
2. Invest time in conversation
3. Seem to be getting along well
4. Maybe a date or two maybe have been intimate

*poof*

dude suddenly stops responding ...

No communication;

This isn't working
I'm not feeling it
I'm not attracted
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
GURPS said:
Ghosting is a huge fact of life in dating these days ... Tinder, Bumble, Hinge ...

constant and continuous


1. Make a match
2. Invest time in conversation
3. Seem to be getting along well
4. Maybe a date or two maybe have been intimate

*poof*

dude suddenly stops responding ...

No communication;

This isn't working
I'm not feeling it
I'm not attracted
Click to expand...
I suppose I did it before it had a name and before social media - both women I met via more traditional means - one was a co-worker of my sister's, the other I met playing sports in a public park. Both of them had OTHER reasons not to remain interested - one of them, she was just incredibly immature for a woman in her 20's. Then I met her family, and I could see why - they were ALL very strange. The other, well in retrospect I did kind of dodge a bullet - we became very good friends years later, but she was never interested in family or marriage, although I think she's been with a guy for a couple decades now.

But truth is, no, I wasn't terribly attracted to them, and looking back, I jumped through hoops in relationships - where I shouldn't have bothered - when I really WAS. I think all the OTHER things may have been magnified when added to the fact that I was only marginally interested, whereas when I WAS, I tended to ignore red flags that everyone ELSE saw.

I married my wife and thinking back - there really weren't ANY red flags to speak of. We both wanted the same things, we had different interests to be sure, but they weren't at odds with one another.
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
Kyle said:
If he didn't even want to bother to say "Sorry, not feeling it, Adios." what makes her think he wants to fill out a survey. :lmao:
Click to expand...
Yeah, thought that too. Which is why I assumed she wrote it for her podcast, just to be funny.

Back in the 80's, I had a friend who had one of those checklist post-date forms for his dates. It was hysterical, because EVERY checked off option was something EXTREMELY complimentary of him and his performance, his good looks, his charm and so on. Can't remember many details - I remember one of them was "start the ceremony" because she was presumably hearing wedding bells after one date.

OBVIOUSLY no one filled it out, but it really was hilarious.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Kyle said:
If he didn't even want to bother to say "Sorry, not feeling it, Adios." what makes her think he wants to fill out a survey. :lmao:
Click to expand...

Well, there's that...

In theory it's a good idea, though. If enough people tell you you're this or that or whatever, perhaps it's something you could work on. Unless the reason they ghosted you is because they're married, which is the #1 reason guys suddenly disappear.
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
Kyle said:
Seems to me he dodged a bullet.
Click to expand...
It's been three freaking YEARS. I still it's ridiculous they wear them in medical facilities - at least until you get inside the waiting room - then you get to take them OFF and potentially contaminate the entire room which other people will use.

I still am astonished that I still see people - whole families actually - walking around with those damned masks on as if they do ANYTHING, yet put their HANDS on everything ELSE in the store that's been handled already. Worse, half of them have them below their noses ("Well I can't BREATHE") which utterly obviates their marginal efficacy. if you can smell a fart or cigarette smoke through those things - they ain't stopping a damned thing. It's just theater.

I used to be supportive of the vaccine - until the boosters - and more boosters - and the constant drumbeat that you just need to KEEP BOOSTING forever. And then you'll still get it. Well hell, what's the point anymore? I got the first shot - the second shot - the first booster - and sorry, I am done. I'm not getting the jab forever.

And to the original post, and point - what kind of nutcase bases her whole dating life over what is clearly an ineffective vaccine? You'd think things like "doesn't bathe - won't put down the toilet seat - won't use a condom - " that kind of stuff would be a problem.
 
Grumpy

Grumpy

Well-Known Member
SamSpade said:
... because she was presumably hearing wedding bells after one date.
Click to expand...
Dated a girl that broached that subject after the 2nd date, blew her off and changed the subject. A month later, I had had enough and even tho I just wanted to disappear, I sat down with her and told it was really wasn't working out and we needed to go our separate ways. I remember the huge relief when I left that I did the right thing..The next day she called and said 'hi honey, what are we doing tonight???' That's when I ghosted her.
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
Grumpy said:
Dated a girl that broached that subject after the 2nd date, blew her off and changed the subject. A month later, I had had enough and even tho I just wanted to disappear, I sat down with her and told it was really wasn't working out and we needed to go our separate ways. I remember the huge relief when I left that I did the right thing..The next day she called and said 'hi honey, what are we doing tonight???' That's when I ghosted her.
Click to expand...
I think one of the things that attracted me to my wife was, she didn't need me to work out our - or her - entertainment agenda. And she was quite at home with just hanging out or watching TV. Early in our dating life, I was unemployed and feeling inadequate because I couldn't afford to take her places all the time - and she said that - if we got married one day - and that's an if - one day, just hanging out or just watching TV will be more of what we do, than going out places. That's what families and married couples DO. You don't have to have something planned every night. You can just BE.

Yeah, I'd say every time I had a girlfriend who was very much into me, that was brought up early. When they weren't, it never got brought up. Makes sense, really.
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
spr1975wshs said:
I'm so glad I've been out of the dating game for near 45 years.
Click to expand...
Well me too, for about twenty (19th anniversary, obviously dating ONE person prior).

Outside of online apps - I haven't a clue how I'd meet someone now, at my age, should anything bad happen to wife - although to be honest, I think it is almost 100% more likely she will outlive ME. I've mentioned to her that if I outlived her, I'd probably stay single. It would just be too much.

Being far less dramatic than I am, she just rolls her eyes and gives a "whatever".
 
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