Otter
Nothing to see here
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will finally figure out what the problem is, with your car! Basically, it has developed a sense of humor.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to hide an iguana in someone's satchel. They will not be expecting that, so everyone will get a good chuckle out of it.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of iguanas, today.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Absolutely marvelous day to complain, grumble, gripe, or whine. Remember: if you're going to do something, do it well.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
After today the following expression will no longer strike you as being in the least bit amusing: "Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies."
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Remember: loose lips sink ships. The really strange thing is, nobody's ever been able to explain to me why ships have lips in the first place, especially if they're that risky.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Have you ever considered adopting a new life as a "mountain-person"? Living in the vast mountains and forests of Alaska, hewing an existence from the unforgiving wild Nature of our ancestors? Nope, me neither.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
A tomato features in todays cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinacle of excitement for today.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
In one of those amusing misunderstandings that often happen due to bad phone connections, you will show up to go on a hike with something unexpected. If you stop and think about it, you'll realise that it isn't that likely someone would say "It may be cold, so be sure to bring a goat."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will finally get the television exposure you've been wanting, by organizing a group of protesters to block the entrance to a physics lab, holding crudely-lettered signs saying "Down With Gravity!.
Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will finally figure out what the problem is, with your car! Basically, it has developed a sense of humor.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to hide an iguana in someone's satchel. They will not be expecting that, so everyone will get a good chuckle out of it.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of iguanas, today.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Absolutely marvelous day to complain, grumble, gripe, or whine. Remember: if you're going to do something, do it well.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
After today the following expression will no longer strike you as being in the least bit amusing: "Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies."
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Remember: loose lips sink ships. The really strange thing is, nobody's ever been able to explain to me why ships have lips in the first place, especially if they're that risky.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Have you ever considered adopting a new life as a "mountain-person"? Living in the vast mountains and forests of Alaska, hewing an existence from the unforgiving wild Nature of our ancestors? Nope, me neither.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
A tomato features in todays cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinacle of excitement for today.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
In one of those amusing misunderstandings that often happen due to bad phone connections, you will show up to go on a hike with something unexpected. If you stop and think about it, you'll realise that it isn't that likely someone would say "It may be cold, so be sure to bring a goat."
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will finally get the television exposure you've been wanting, by organizing a group of protesters to block the entrance to a physics lab, holding crudely-lettered signs saying "Down With Gravity!.
Way to go! I remember those days of band competitions and it is a thrill when you do well. Congrats to them all for a job well done.