Has anyone used a nanny to help during first weeks with new baby?

[morganj614]

OMG!

It's easy to say "sleep when the baby sleeps" but I'd have liked to slap my doctor when he told me that. Maybe some people can fall asleep on command but I never could. And Doug would only eat a few ounces at a time, so you know what that means - he ate every two hours or so.

I say hire the help. "Bonding" with your baby is all well and good, but if you're constantly exhausted and on the verge of tears (or actively IN tears) that bonding isn't going to be all that effective.

I say have the whole experience If having a baby means you cannot cope, you better rethink popping out kids because infant is the easy stage The male species can help with laundry and such.

 

[vraiblonde]

If having a baby means you cannot cope, you better rethink popping out kids

Can I just say? And this is not directed at you in particular, Morgie honey-bunch post-birthday girl

People always say, "Well, you shouldn't have kids if you can't this" and "You shouldn't have kids if you can't that." But if people only had children under ideal conditions, we'd be missing an awful lot of kids in this world. Which may or may not be a bad thing, but there's no such thing as the "ideal condition" to have a child.

I've know couples married for years, money was good, owned a home with a yard, happy and healthy. But they had a baby and the stress was so great it triggered a divorce.

I also know women who had their children out of wedlock (supposedly the big societal no-no) and these children are just peaches and cream, with everyone living happily ever after.

TV and infant-rearing books make it look and sound so easy. But it's a different story in real life. I stand by "get the help".

 

[BadGirl]

Not once did I nap while my newborn slept. I did laundry, kept the house tidy, made dinner, while I recovered from a c-section. Would I have liked to have outside help - you betcha! But I'd rather have had my time devoted exclusively to the baby, and yet hired out to have someone do the housecleaning. I'd still like to have a housecleaner come in and take that task off of my to-do list.

 

[morganj614]

Can I just say? And this is not directed at you in particular, Morgie honey-bunch post-birthday girl
People always say, "Well, you shouldn't have kids if you can't this" and "You shouldn't have kids if you can't that." But if people only had children under ideal conditions, we'd be missing an awful lot of kids in this world. Which may or may not be a bad thing, but there's no such thing as the "ideal condition" to have a child.
I've know couples married for years, money was good, owned a home with a yard, happy and healthy. But they had a baby and the stress was so great it triggered a divorce.
I also know women who had their children out of wedlock (supposedly the big societal no-no) and these children are just peaches and cream, with everyone living happily ever after.
TV and infant-rearing books make it look and sound so easy. But it's a different story in real life. I stand by "get the help".

I can actually understand maybe getting some help with laundry and meals and maybe cleaning while you heal, but I feel she could take care of the child herself.

That recent story about the mother who said her kids bored her, even though she had a nanny, really pizzed me off.

 

[bresamil]

I would say if you can afford help, get it, but not to take care of the baby. Get someone to do all your household stuff and make meals, etc so you can focus on getting to know your baby.

 

[mAlice]

Babies sleep, feed and poop the first few months. Help? For what? :shrug:

Maybe your babies, but I'm with vrai on this one. If you can get help, go for it. Gurl was non stop whiny cry baby for the first couple of months, ate every two hours, and I was alone all day. I thought I was gonna' pull my hair out. I couldn't wait for the end of the day when bebe daddy walked in the door. "Here. She's all yours."

After a few months things settled down and she became an angel and has pretty much stayed that way.

 

[hborror]

I say have the whole experience If having a baby means you cannot cope, you better rethink popping out kids because infant is the easy stage The male species can help with laundry and such.

agreed I did it all (OK not all) hubby did the dishes I did the dirty diapers, I did the luandry he would fold I would put away. Just get on a system and it will work. I also agree with itsbob* good bonding time for you and baby.

 

[gardengirl]

I loved all the responses! It actually made me feel better about our situation. Since neither of us have ever taken care of children before, we feel like we're stepping into the total unknown. (And it doesn't help that my friends have mentioned that getting help is so essential.) I wish one set of our parents was able to fly out for a few days, but from what you all have said, going it alone works out just fine in the end.

It sounds like the most valuable help you could have would be someone to assist with the cleaning and cooking so that you can spend more time with the baby or catching up on much needed sleep. Where we used to live, there was a service that actually cooked meals and dropped them off so that busy families could come home at the end of the day and enjoy a meal together. We never took advantage of it (never felt the need!), but it sure sounds like a winner now. Is there anything like that down here? (Business idea for anyone who is looking for it! You'd have a built-in customer!)

 

[Tina2001aniT]

I loved all the responses! It actually made me feel better about our situation. Since neither of us have ever taken care of children before, we feel like we're stepping into the total unknown. (And it doesn't help that my friends have mentioned that getting help is so essential.) I wish one set of our parents was able to fly out for a few days, but from what you all have said, going it alone works out just fine in the end.

It sounds like the most valuable help you could have would be someone to assist with the cleaning and cooking so that you can spend more time with the baby or catching up on much needed sleep. Where we used to live, there was a service that actually cooked meals and dropped them off so that busy families could come home at the end of the day and enjoy a meal together. We never took advantage of it (never felt the need!), but it sure sounds like a winner now. Is there anything like that down here? (Business idea for anyone who is looking for it! You'd have a built-in customer!)

My old boss used to have someone like that, they would come over once a week and cook all of their meals for the week, and either refrigerate or freeze them so that when they got home all they had to do was heat it up. They just raved about how good it tasted and how much healthier they were able to eat.

 

[LexiGirl75]

Everyone has pretty much said everything. But, I would like to add that if you decide to go with a nanny, choose a male nanny. A hunky muscular type that looks good holding babies. When you know his schedule shoot me a pm and I will come by to make sure he is the one I meant.


Seriously, a male nanny would be a dream for me. I will bring the virgin daiquiris for me and you while we look at the baby magnet.

 

[vraiblonde]

Seriously, a male nanny would be a dream for me.

Speaking of which, I was listening to Dr. Laura on the way to work and she gave what, in my opinion, is the worst advice ever. I'm going to start a thread about it - thanks for reminding me.

 

[LexiGirl75]

Speaking of which, I was listening to Dr. Laura on the way to work and she gave what, in my opinion, is the worst advice ever. I'm going to start a thread about it - thanks for reminding me.

You're welcome.

Did we have our first date yet?

 

[Tigerlily]

Another idea would be to prepare a few weeks worth of meals and freeze them before you have the baby. You'll feel like cooking and cleaning up a storm during your nesting phase. This way you might be able to pick up a housekeeper for a couple of days a week to help.

 

[terbear1225]

many of my co-workers also contributed. they were kind enough to take turns making dinner for us for the first week and a half and delivering it to the house. we got meals for @3 weeks (lots of leftovers!) and they got the chance to see the baby.

 

[baileydog]

You get used to the changes. Just sleep when baby sleeps and you have lots of patience and you will do fine. Good luck!! enjoy also!!

Do you ever get to sleep?

 

[Larry Gude]

I third this...

Maybe your babies, but I'm with vrai on this one. If you can get help, go for it. Gurl was non stop whiny cry baby for the first couple of months, ate every two hours, and I was alone all day. I thought I was gonna' pull my hair out. I couldn't wait for the end of the day when bebe daddy walked in the door. "Here. She's all yours."

After a few months things settled down and she became an angel and has pretty much stayed that way.

...women are in, to me, pergatory for the first few months without a mom or females who've been there done that close by. Sleep deprivation and interuption. Sit around in a warm place and have to stay awake. This fragile, totaly dependent thing with NO way of telling to what it needs.

The men ain't much help; for the most part we gotta have our act togther to bring home the bacon. If it was up to us, you ladies would come home, I shudder to think.

 

[vraiblonde]

Sit around in a warm place and have to stay awake. ]

Women who survive the newborn stage with their children could be Navy SEALs.