Helping your child/ren

[vraiblonde]

Honest question, why did you do differently for different children?

Fly and Be Free kid is the oldest by 3.5 years, and we didn't have the money to do for him. Larry gave him a car when he turned 16, but he had to come up with the gas, insurance, etc. Bought his own cellphone and all. Then he went into the Army and made his way.

The girls that followed...well, you've certainly read over the years of my mistakes with them.

 

[vegmom]

Enough to Facilitate Launch

And maybe help if she gets in a really nasty pinch through no fault of her own. But otherwise self sufficiency has been drilled into my daughter's head since birth.

 

[lisa8439]

Provided said child is gainfully employed, and footing most of the bill, yes.

I would not pay for an apartment, but might help with first and last. Child has to be able to at least pay rent and utilities. I wouldn't mind helping out with groceries when things get tight. Child must be able to support own transportation, because there is usually public transportation if they can't afford a vehicle. If distance is reasonable, rides to and from work/shopping would not be out of the question. Gender would not be a factor.

 

[pixiegirl]

Fly and Be Free kid is the oldest by 3.5 years, and we didn't have the money to do for him. Larry gave him a car when he turned 16, but he had to come up with the gas, insurance, etc. Bought his own cellphone and all. Then he went into the Army and made his way.

The girls that followed...well, you've certainly read over the years of my mistakes with them.

Gotcha! My parents did different for my brother and I but the opposite. I resented it growing up but am glad now because one of us is self reliant and the other is 35 and still lives at home. I plan on helping with a car but they have to work. With 6 of them and my plans to get the hell outa dodge they better be prepared to fend for themselves once they turn 18.

 

[vegmom]

Honest question, why did you do differently for different children? Right now I "plan" on doing the same for both of my kids (unless #1's hearing loss progresses to the point of disability but I'll cross that bridge if/when I get there). Granted they're both boys and close in age so I think it's easy for me to have that mindset.

Don't worry, he'll be fine!

I have a daughter with hearing loss, and I work for a non-profit that advocates for deaf and hard of hearing people. I've met folks of all ages with every degree of hearing loss / age of onset who are EXTREMELY successful.

So long as he's in a decent school and has access to hearing technology, the sky is the limit!

 

[pixiegirl]

Don't worry, he'll be fine!

I have a daughter with hearing loss, and I work for a non-profit that advocates for deaf and hard of hearing people. I've met folks of all ages with every degree of hearing loss / age of onset who are EXTREMELY successful.

So long as he's in a decent school and has access to hearing technology, the sky is the limit!

His hearing loss is mild/moderate now. He has hearing aids but doesn't like to wear them since kids in school make fun of him. He does well without them but can't pick up on things that are said when his back is to you. He's adapted fantastically in school. Right now I worry more about his pre-pubesent attitude than his ears!

 

[vegmom]

His hearing loss is mild/moderate now. He has hearing aids but doesn't like to wear them since kids in school make fun of him. He does well without them but can't pick up on things that are said when his back is to you. He's adapted fantastically in school. Right now I worry more about his pre-pubesent attitude than his ears!

Glad to hear he's doing well in school!

Prepubescent? I'll trade you a Middle Schooler LOL. DD is 13 and has the same hearing loss. Stick to your guns on the hearing aids. I pretty much had to force veggirl to wear hers when she was younger. Now putting them in is as routine as brushing her teeth and the remarks about her ears pretty much roll off. Learning a good bit of self-advocacy will go a long way once he hit's middle school and has 8 different teachers.

 

[LadyCoyote]

You are 100% correct. You don't want to help them to the degree that you would stunt their ability to make it on their own.

True. I remember sometimes eating just a can of green beans for dinner and hunting down loose coins for gas money! I lived with a couple of other students who were doing the same thing, and we split the rent, struggled A LOT, and we lived in a dumpy neighborhood (think: police helos flying around just about every night looking for bad guys, shining lights in our backyard!) At the time, we thought it was sort of funny (the helos), "aliens are coming from outerspace!" We came up with 101 ways to eat Red Beans and Rice....we survived, and you know what? I had a few different jobs and one of those employers helped pay for my education (tuition reimbursement)....where there's a will, there's a way!

Those were some of the best times of my life!!

 

[Booboo3604]

I'll give each one of them 25K when they are married and want the first house...1 down, two to go....

Just curious as to why there is a marriage prerequisite? I'm 28 and am not currently nor have ever been married. If I were your daughter and wanted to buy my first house on my own would the 25K not be given? Just wondering why that that stipulation is there...