Every man knows that even the most sweet and loving girlfriend can morph into a raging lunatic every once in awhile. And while it might be your first impulse to blame PMS, be aware that there are more forces at work in her sudden mental shifts than just "that time of the month." Automatically blaming hormones is likely to escalate the problem and have you running for cover.
A bad day at work, a fight with a friend, family discord, or even a seemingly small disappointment can all lead to a girlfriend that is all over the emotional map. While it isn't your duty to make everything OK, it is worthwhile for you to uncover the root of the problem or do your best to try and not provoke her into an unnecessary argument. Read on for a few easy tips to tackle any unanticipated mood and make it out alive.
Mood: Distant
A woman that is pulling away from you and is not responsive to your presence can be a curveball that most men aren't expecting. If you've only encountered conflicts involving yelling and the hurling of projectiles in the past (both situations where retreating is the obvious course), it might be hard to resist the urge to chase down a woman that is acting in a detached manner.
However, when you find yourself faced with a girl that doesn't want to talk, it's usually best to give her a little breathing room to pull herself together before you start digging into what's going on. If you push her to talk before she is ready not only will you not get the facts, you'll most likely wind up with a resentful and defensive woman on your hands.
Mood: Depressed
If her mood swing is leaning toward emotional meltdown rather than raging rampage, your woman is probably going to be in need of comfort and encouragement rather than space and time alone (both of which might make her mood even worse). Try giving her a little physical but non-sexual affection to let her know that she is cared for and appreciated. If her bad mood lasts longer than expected, try setting up a date night reminiscent of happier times, like a return to a favorite restaurant or a memorable destination.
A surprise like this delivered unexpectedly can do wonders to lighten her mood and let her know that you are going to stick it out and help her through a rough time rather than bail when she isn't at her bubbly best.
Mood: Angry
There is a big difference between provoked anger and the unjustifiable variety. If her foul mood is a result of something you've said or done, step up and take the apology initiative rather than wait for her to form a battle plan and call you on it. But if it's out-of-the-blue rage that's stepping into your relationship, the last thing you want to do is apologize out of turn. Instead, probe cautiously to find out the actual source of the problem. Avoid making sweeping judgments or offering rash solutions.
Be prepared to back off quickly if she isn't able to have a civil conversation or articulate her thoughts in a rational manner -- if that happens, refer back to the entry on being distant.
Mood: Needy
After a disappointment or letdown, your woman might be feeling in need of the reassurance that the two of you are a team that's in it together. Whatever you do, don't confuse a woman that is emotionally needy with one that is more materially inclined -- the materially needy girl can be placated with gifts and tokens of affection, but those in emotional need are going to require a bit more finesse.
The best way to demonstrate your support is to give a little in areas that are important to her. Has she been bugging you to go bowling or accompany her to pick out a new couch? Now might be the time to bend a little in order to soothe her and help her feel secure so that she doesn't need to act out in a clingy way in other areas of your relationship. Just showing a little bit of flexibility will go a long way.
Mood: Deflated
The difference between a depressed woman and a deflated woman is sketchy. Good indicators are the duration of the mood (depression tends to take a bit longer to get over) and how she deals with it: Deflation tends to conjure up listlessness rather than the tears common to depression.
A girlfriend that feels like she's lost the wind in her sails, whether because she's gained a bit of weight, lost a job or just isn't feeling her best, might prompt you to overcompliment in order to build her back up. Unfortunately, transparent compliments are useless and nothing you say can will change what she believes to be true. Instead, start by gently dismissing her self-conscious comments and avoid getting into a prolonged discussion on the topic; stop the analytics before she can sink her teeth into them.
If you find that a common self-criticism keeps cropping up, try playfully agreeing or blowing it out of proportion to draw attention to just how ridiculous she's being -- but as this is a touchy area, tread lightly.
Mood: Stressed
A stressed-out woman is a force to be reckoned with and, as you might already know, there is no reasoning with one. Whether the stress is justifiable in your mind or seemingly invented, you have two choices: Stay out of her way or do something to take some of the pressure off. Something as simple as doing a load of laundry or taking care of dinner can make a huge impact on her already overloaded mental checklist of things that are required of her.
Even if the gesture is small, it is still one less thing she'll need to worry about. Picking up the slack around the house or with errands and outside demands will let you score a few points without being in her way or demanding more of her time. The last thing you want to do is to act as another source of distress or obligation for her.
Bonus Mood: Horny
It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while a mood swing will suit your girlfriend. Better yet, it will suit you too, and you'll be wise to take advantage. There is a rare breed of mood that can be classified as distracted horny or distressed horny, and it usually comes about as the result of a girlfriend that is on the brink of other emotions, but manages to distract herself with lusty thoughts.
Tread lightly if you think you see that look in her eyes; one false step can catapult this mood into oblivion, only to be replaced with a much more unsettling one. And if you do find yourself faced with a woman in need of distraction or affection, do your best to put on a good show for her. You'll never have a more appreciative audience.
When the mood is right…
Women are confounding creatures, and most can and will travel through each of these moods with lightning speed. Paying attention to where she lands on the mood-swing scale is your best defense and will serve both you and your relationship well. You won't be able to fix her issues every single time, but you've now got a fighting chance at bringing the intensity of an episode down a few notches.
