sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
Has he put you through the dutch oven?
How long before you fart in front of them?
- Thread starter Misfit
- Start date
Has he put you through the dutch oven?
MMM_donuts
New Member
A toot story...
I was the first one to toot in front of the other and it totally changed the dynamic of our relationship.
We were dating, long distance at this point, and I hadn't told him that I eat a primarily plant-based diet yet. I don't know why, ok, it had just never come up in all the time that we had known each other.
Plus, when we were friends, he sent me flowers to express his interest in something more and I returned that gesture with an order of steak - the equivelent man flower, right? That may have perpetuated it a little.
So he visits me in TN and is visibly proud of himself for researching and making reservations at the nicest place in town - a fancy shmancy steakhouse.
I did what I thought was the best thing to do - I ordered the tiniest little peice of meat they offered and promised myself to bring it up sometime in the future when it was more appropriate. I didn't want to harsh his awesome thoughtfulness.
The next day I stopped by his hotel room to pick him up but he wasn't ready yet. I waited for him while he showered when I felt some distress in my belly, which had made it very clear for the previous entire evening that it was not going to forgive my choice in dinner but I thought the worst was over. Now, I like to think I have mastered the art of silent toots so no biggie.......but this time.....it was silent alright, but it was the most wretched, horrible smell....and there was nothing I could do about it. I heard him turn the shower off and I panicked. What was I supposed to do? Open the door? There wasn't enough time! I tried to waft it away, like dilute it with ambient air. Nothing worked. I just sat there. In the chair. All scared and embarrassed.
He walked out of that bathroom and I watched as it visibly hit him in the face. And there was nothing I could do. And we had to talk about it. With the hotel room door open. I explained about the food, apologized a million times, and he just laughed and promised me that he would forever use this situation as his license to fart wherever and whenever he wants (which he definitely has).
Oddly, it changed the dynamic of our dating relationship and everything was more relaxed. I still don't like to do many of those things on the list. He's laid back so I don't think he would care, I just prefer to keep them to myself. I still try to hide my toots, too. Not him, though. Sometimes I think he tries to impress me with how long or loud or stinky they are. Sometimes he talks to me, keeping a totally straight face, and let's them rip audibly. And I'm like "did you just toot longer than a paragraph worth of words? How is that even possible?!" to which I get some smarty pants reply like "What can I say? I excel at everything I do."
:iwishtherewereasmileythatslowlyshookit'sheadfromsidetoside:
I was the first one to toot in front of the other and it totally changed the dynamic of our relationship.
We were dating, long distance at this point, and I hadn't told him that I eat a primarily plant-based diet yet. I don't know why, ok, it had just never come up in all the time that we had known each other.
Plus, when we were friends, he sent me flowers to express his interest in something more and I returned that gesture with an order of steak - the equivelent man flower, right? That may have perpetuated it a little.
So he visits me in TN and is visibly proud of himself for researching and making reservations at the nicest place in town - a fancy shmancy steakhouse.
I did what I thought was the best thing to do - I ordered the tiniest little peice of meat they offered and promised myself to bring it up sometime in the future when it was more appropriate. I didn't want to harsh his awesome thoughtfulness.
The next day I stopped by his hotel room to pick him up but he wasn't ready yet. I waited for him while he showered when I felt some distress in my belly, which had made it very clear for the previous entire evening that it was not going to forgive my choice in dinner but I thought the worst was over. Now, I like to think I have mastered the art of silent toots so no biggie.......but this time.....it was silent alright, but it was the most wretched, horrible smell....and there was nothing I could do about it. I heard him turn the shower off and I panicked. What was I supposed to do? Open the door? There wasn't enough time! I tried to waft it away, like dilute it with ambient air. Nothing worked. I just sat there. In the chair. All scared and embarrassed.
He walked out of that bathroom and I watched as it visibly hit him in the face. And there was nothing I could do. And we had to talk about it. With the hotel room door open. I explained about the food, apologized a million times, and he just laughed and promised me that he would forever use this situation as his license to fart wherever and whenever he wants (which he definitely has).
Oddly, it changed the dynamic of our dating relationship and everything was more relaxed. I still don't like to do many of those things on the list. He's laid back so I don't think he would care, I just prefer to keep them to myself. I still try to hide my toots, too. Not him, though. Sometimes I think he tries to impress me with how long or loud or stinky they are. Sometimes he talks to me, keeping a totally straight face, and let's them rip audibly. And I'm like "did you just toot longer than a paragraph worth of words? How is that even possible?!" to which I get some smarty pants reply like "What can I say? I excel at everything I do."
:iwishtherewereasmileythatslowlyshookit'sheadfromsidetoside:
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
It was an accident. He said so.
Was it today?
KDENISE977
New Member
It's not love until you get the monkey paw !!
I don't ever want any guy to be that relaxed around me.
MMM_donuts
New Member
I don't really mind since he seems to self-regulate pretty well. There's never a peep from him when there's food around or when we're looking to do it or when there are other people around. Other than that, I gues I really don't care.
A lot of times it's funny because he makes jokes about it. Plus, it makes it not so bad when something of mine slips out, which, unfortunately, does happen occasionally.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Can you smell me? Do I stink? 
I was looking for that clip - received it in an e-mail sometime last year. Funny.
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
DO YOU WORK WITH ME??
That's all we do here is try to gas each other out. I mean come on....what's funnier than a fart?
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
A fluff.
you!!!
Been married almost a quarter of a century and doubt we'll ever be that comfortable.
Hank
my war
Prude
Call it what you wish, I have no need to see it or put on a show.
Fetishist.
Hank
my war
Shouldn't it be "Fetishit"?