How To Tick People Off

Otter

Nothing to see here
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

21. type only in lowercase.

22. dont use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.

31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
 

ct20657

New Member
otter said:
33. Give one of these to Kwillia in a restaurant.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/otterzzz/binds.jpg">
We all have been to chinese restuarants (crystal palace) where the waitress or waiter comes to your table 500 times trying to take your plate esp the one your still eating from. They also tend to stare you down and try to hurry you out the place quickly. I find it helpful to burp at them when they come to the table thata keep em away :dance:
 
More ways to tick people off....

1.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
2.Send E-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
3.Send E-mail messages that advertizse free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say "You've got to be faster than that."
4.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
 
C

czygvtwkr

Guest
When you go into the restroom and someone is in the next stall pee on the floor so it splashes on them.
 

virgovictoria

Tight Pants and Lipstick
PREMO Member
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Didya ever notice how this one keeps getting by :whistle: Like, how many people do ya think this one will apply to???

And... If you had a friend with a glass eye, would you send them this joke?

:lmao:
 

aps45819

24/7 Single Dad
virgovictoria said:
And... If you had a friend with a glass eye, would you send them this joke? :lmao:
Sure, why not?
I was at a party during my mis-spent youth, and noticed this guy had one eye that was bloodshot and one that was clear. When I mentioned it, he asked which one was clear, I told him, then he pulled it out, looked at it and agreed that it was clear. I was :yikes:
 
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