How would you discourage

[Jeff]

Just tell them you want to spend some quality time with the spouse each day when you both get home and have a nice quiet meal and some relaxing time spent with one another talking about how each others day was.

If they are decent folks they'll understand. If not. You'll know and can decide if you really want to have that close a relationship with them.

 

[GopherM]

No...I could either turn it off until I get home in the evening. Like many here I have been trainied in the skills of Chuck Norris and could prevent the water from ever touching me.

 

[gigi6]

Maybe a progressive approach of all of the above ending with a moat and barb wire will be the final solution. I could buy and install some of those motion activated high pressure sprinklers like they use to scare deer away and position them near our driveway, sidewalk and doors. That would be entertaining.

THis will work and then the obvious..........DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR!

 

[Toxick]

Without being rude and damaging a good neighbor relationship, what is the best way to discourage the visits. Maybe if I get enough ideas I can forward them a link to this forum and hope they stumble on this thread.

Stage a fight with your SO.

Make it about something real uncomfortable ... like about periods, or about how one of you won't try some hot back-door action.

I'll bet they show themselves to the door quick, fast and in a hurry.

 

[Mousebaby]

Stage a fight with your SO.

Make it about something real uncomfortable ... like about periods, or about how one of you won't try some hot back-door action.

I'll bet they show themselves to the door quick, fast and in a hurry.

Either that or they will want to join in!

 

[Jeff]

Hey, I got one for ya. Every time they come over... bum money off of 'em. They'll either get tired of coming over or you'll get paid for the inconvenience.

 

[GopherM]

Hey, I got one for ya. Every time they come over... bum money off of 'em. They'll either get tired of coming over or you'll get paid for the inconvenience.

Hey, I should have thought of that. And the real advantage is if they actually loan me money evertime they show up, they will eventually finance the fence and the moat and maybe even an extended vacation for quiet and peaceful time together in Aruba.

 

[Jeff]

Hey, I should have thought of that. And the real advantage is if they actually loan me money evertime they show up, they will eventually finance the fence and the moat and maybe even an extended vacation for quiet and peaceful time together in Aruba.

Hot damn.... Problem solved.!!!!

 

[bohman]

Maybe you could insist on visiting them in the morning when they are hung over? Insist that all of you should enjoy breakfast at their house. Talk loudly, and turn on as many bright lights as possible.

 

[Tomahawk202]

perfectly nice neighbors that are both completely retired and like to have a drink or six and come visit for 2 hours or so in the evening. I still work and like to unwind with peace and quiet and, though they are both nice, I don't welcome their slightly impaired visitations. They don't even mind sitting at the table with us while we have dinner.

What you should do, is go outside and find a rabbit or small animal. Kill it and gut it and let it dry for a day or two, upside down out in your garage. Then take Hunt's ketchup and fill the inside of the stomach cavity all the way up. Take some dental floss and a sewing needle and sew it up. Hide the stitches well in the fur. The next time they come over.....

Slam the rabbit down on your plate, without looking at them, saying a word, pull a buck folding knife out cha pocket and stab it into the rabbits gut. Split it open, and take your first two fingers, jam it into the animal, and smear some "blood" under both of your eyes, like an NFL quarterback. Then, with your hand, slather the ketchup into your mouth and on your tongue, running it all down your chin.

Should work. If not....just kill them. Works for me.......

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Make them read the "Charles County Officer Murders Dog" thread everytime they come over. You'll never see them again.

 

[GopherM]

What you should do, is go outside and find a rabbit or small animal. Kill it and gut it and let it dry for a day or two, upside down out in your garage. Then take Hunt's ketchup and fill the inside of the stomach cavity all the way up. Take some dental floss and a sewing needle and sew it up. Hide the stitches well in the fur. The next time they come over.....

Slam the rabbit down on your plate, without looking at them, saying a word, pull a buck folding knife out cha pocket and stab it into the rabbits gut. Split it open, and take your first two fingers, jam it into the animal, and smear some "blood" under both of your eyes, like an NFL quarterback. Then, with your hand, slather the ketchup into your mouth and on your tongue, running it all down your chin.

Should work. If not....just kill them. Works for me.......

I tried that already. They just laughed.

 

[GopherM]

Make them read the "Charles County Officer Murders Dog" thread everytime they come over. You'll never see them again.

I know wacha mean. I know we don't have to read the threads...but I get nmad tired of seing that header pop up. People that get murdered don't draw the attention that dead dog gets.

 

[czygvtwkr]

fart alot, it works for me

 

[GopherM]

fart alot, it works for me

Should they be noisey, smelly, alternate between the two or both at once? I had an aunt that had what Larry the Cable Guy called the walking farts. Every step she took she tooted. We thought it was so funny it drew a crowd and didn't serve to anyone to stay away. Toot...toot...toot...toot...toot!!!

 

[czygvtwkr]

Noisy and smelly are the best. For added effect you can cup your hand hold it over your crack fart in your hand and then ask them to smell it.

 

[GopherM]

Noisy and smelly are the best. For added effect you can cup your hand hold it over your crack fart in your hand and then ask them to smell it.

I heard the best collection method was to get in a pretty full bath tub, fill up a butter cup or pickle jar, invert it and gas it up, then put the lid on before you remove it from the water. Pure unadulterated joy in a jar and it's completly portable.

 

[czygvtwkr]

I heard the best collection method was to get in a pretty full bath tub, fill up a butter cup or pickle jar, invert it and gas it up, then put the lid on before you remove it from the water. Pure unadulterated joy in a jar and it's completly portable.

I'll have to try that.

That method would require a little thought ahead of time though to work on the unwanted neighbors.

Oooo just thought of something even better, take their hand cup it and hold it down there and let fly....

 

[hvp05]

Pure unadulterated joy in a jar and it's completly portable.

I can see you gathering a cupboard full of these.

Next time they come over and ask for a drink, say, "Sure, take one of those glasses out of that cupboard."

 

[czygvtwkr]

I can see you gathering a cupboard full of these.

Next time they come over and ask for a drink, say, "Sure, take one of those glasses out of that cupboard."

LMFAO