I accepted his offer to be a friend with benefits, but now I want more


PREMO Member
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with this certain man for 10 years. One day, almost a year ago, he texted me asking if I would be willing to be intimate with him -- no labels, just benefits.

I liked him, so I accepted his offer. Almost a year into it, we are texting from morning to night, and I find myself catching feelings. If I tell him, I know it would ruin everything and end the friendship. Should I be honest or keep silent? What to do?

GENTLE READER: Catch some feelings for another.

If your friend gets jealous and wants to consider changing his status, you may consider doing so. But if he encourages the new relationship, you will have your answer about his feelings. At that point, you can start phasing out the benefits, and hope to retain the friendship.

Miss Manners is aware that this plan usually only works in romantic comedies, but she maintains that the distraction will be worth the risk.



Board Mommy
PREMO Member
See, and I hate games. An adult would just say, "Look, Bartholomew, this may not be working for me anymore because I'm getting the feelz." Then he will respond and you take it from there. This way there are no missed signals because Booty Call might go, "Oh, well, okay..." even though he has feelings too because he'll think she doesn't.
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Reactions: rio


Well-Known Member
Damn I am the wrong age. Too young to cash in on the free-love of the 60s and too old for the Tinder thots.