Cool...Then You SHould Be Familiar With The "Liberal Lexicon"!
A:(archaic) the grade indicating excellence during
the less-enlightened, competitive era of education
Aardvark: endangered species
Abalone: endangered species
Abandon: what conservatives do with their social responsibilities
Abase: what should be done with standards of all kinds
Aberrant: conservative
Aberration: the popularity of Ronald Reagan
Abhorrent: the popularity of Ronald Reagan
Abnormal: (archaic) in less enlightened times, not normal
A-bomb: weapon used by United States to destroy peaceful people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Abomination: Reaganomics
Abortion: most important civil right; sacrament of radical feminism
Abracadabra: what liberals say when creating new programs
Absentee: the way rich Republicans vote; should be made illegal
Abstain (archaic): the way sex education used to be taught
Abstract: the way liberals think
Absurd: trickle-down economics
Academia: a place where great ideas flourish
Academic Freedom: freedom of student or teacher to hold or express
views without fear of arbitrary interference, except when such ideas are
deemed racist, bigoted, homophobic, insensitive, chauvinistic, jingoistic,
imperialistic, religious, conservative, or politically incorrect
Academy Award: recipients get to make great political speeches and wear red ribbons
Accomplishment: what the government allows you to do
Acculturation: term of arch-conservative Bill Buckley; thus off limits
Acetone: hazardous waste
Achievement: what the government allows you to do
Acid: what liberals ingested frequently in the 1960s
ACLU: official guarantor of all constitutional rights
Acquittal: what ACLU tries to get in all criminal cases
Ad Hominem: an attack against a liberal
Adolescence: best time to give away condoms
Aerosol: destroyer of the ozone layer
Afghanistan: The Soviets' Vietnam
Agitprop: news
AIDS: virus that occurred because of Reagan and Bush
AIDS Epidemic: what Reagan and Bush caused
AIDS research: what Reagan and Bush refused to fund
Air Conditioning: destroyer of the ozone layer
Algore: environmental expert and spiritual guru
All-American: exclusionary
Alligator: endangered species
American Dream: what Reagan and Bush destroyed
Americans: those who profited unfairly in the 1980's
Americans for Democratic Action:
non-partisan group that evaluates politics fairly
Androgynous: describes a group deserving special civil-rights protection
Animals: a collection of endangered species
Antelope: endangered species
Apathy: why more liberals don't vote
Arch-conservative: all conservatives
Archenemy: Rush Limbaugh
Arch-liberal: columnist
Art: something gov't needs to subsidize without regard to standards
Asbestos: the most dangerous substance known to man
Assimilation: opposite of multiculturalism; should be discouraged
Atheism: our official religion
Automobile: greatest threat to the planet (besides people) - Algore
B: the kind of motion pictures Ronald Reagan made
Baboon: endangered species
Back Alley: where all abortions took place before Roe v. Wade
Balanced News Story: opportunity to quote two liberals and give one personal opinion
Bible: dangerous book that should be removed from school libraries
Bicycle: the preferred method of travel, besides walking
Bigot: someone winning an argument with a liberal
Bisexual: lifestyle deserving special civil-rights protection
Blasphemy: saying anything critical about Mother Earth
Boy Scouts of America: subversive paramilitary organization
Budget Cuts: what causes homelessness and poverty
Budget Deficit: the result of Reaganomics
and the reason for tax increases and higher spending
C:
Cabinet: panel of top presidential advisers that should "look like America"
Caldicott, Helen: expert on nuclear weapons and the environment
Campaign Promises: lies told to get elected
Capital punishment: cruel, unusual, and barbaric practice
Cataclysm: what the planet is headed for unless people listen to Algore
Censorship:
1. When parents try to influence which books are used in schools
2. When gov't refuses grants to artists because their work is obscene
Centrists: liberal Democrats
Change: something to work toward whenever Republicans are in office
Choice: something good when it comes to
abortion, something bad when it comes to education
Clinton, Bill: co-president elected in 1992,
re-elected in 1996, and impeached in 1999...
Clinton, Hillary Rodham: health-care / education expert; co-president
Cohabitate: same as marriage
Collective Bargaining: negotiation between workers and oppressors
Colorado: hate state
Columbus, Christopher: originator of genocide, racism,
sexism and homophobia against Native American peoples
Columbus Day: indigenous people's day
Communist: idealist
Conspiracy: what happens whenever two or more right-wingers gather together
Constitution: outmoded document
written by dead, white, male, homophobic slave owners
Contributions: confiscating the American people's hard-earned income,
by force if necessary, so there can be increased government spending.
Cop: armed mercenary; needs constant supervision by civilian review boards
Crazy: rationally challenged
Crime: something caused by economic
inequities, societal alienation, and too many guns
Crocodile: endangered species
Cub Scout: junior member of a subversive, homophobic, paramilitary organization
D:
Death: cessation of life caused by cars, refrigerators, air conditioning,
greed, overpopulation, capitalism, big business and Republicans
Debauchery: a style of art particularly deserving of federal funding
Declaration of Independence: a historical document that should not
be read or displayed in public schools because of its overt religious nature
Defendant: an innocent victim of America's justice system
Defense: the only area of the federal budget that can always be cut
Deficit: caused by tax cuts and overspending on the military
Deficit Reduction: increased taxation and spending on social programs
Dellums, Ron: military expert
Dementia: condition of a solid voting block for liberalism
Democratic Party: captive of liberalism since 1972
Deodorant: destroyer of the ozone layer
Dependency: what liberals foster for their own empowerment; a social condition caused by Republican lack of compassion
Depravity: a popular art form deserving of federal subsidy
Discrimination: the worst sin any human could commit
Diversity: when liberals of all ethnic persuasions get together
Dolphin: the most intelligent and noble of all nature's creatures
Dykes on Bikes: a nonprofit public interest group
E:
Eagle: endangered species
Eagle Scouts: if the Boy Scouts are a dangerous, homophobic,
sexist, paramilitary organization, these are their Green Berets
Earth: the source of all life
Ecology: one of the great religions
Education: indoctrination
Elephant: endangered species
Emmy Award: an opportunity for making great political speeches and wearing red ribbons
English: one of several languages spoken in America
Enigma: why aren't liberals more popular?
Entitlement: a glorious part of the federal budget you can never cut
Environment: our first and highest duty is to protect it
Environmentalists: clergy socialists who care about the planet
Equality: primary goal of education; achieved by fostering mediocrity, sameness
Esteem: very important, especially the "self" variety
Ethics: the way liberals behave
Euthanasia: everybody's right
Evangelicals: dangerous right-wing zealots
Evolution: the way we got here
Exclusion: Republican's byword. Is the party of it
Extinction: what we're facing if we don't listen to Algore
Extremists: Republicans
F: a grade that no one should ever get under any circumstances
Fairness: spreading pain and misery equally
Faith: something you need lots of to be a liberal
Family: any group of people living together
Family Income: everything you earn, plus money you could earn by renting out your house
Family Planning: abortion on demand
Family Values: code words for male chauvinism and homophobia
Fascist: synonym for "conservative"
Father: non-vital member of the family
Federal Government: vital member of the family,
primary bread-winner; the best place to make most decisions
Feminist: spokesperson for all women
Fetus: unviable tissue mass
First Lady: co-president
Freedom: hedonism. Eliminating it is the goal of conservatism
Fundamentalists: they want to impose their morality on us all