Originally posted by christy20657
I really think I am losing it and I constantly think that God hates me! It seems like whenever I find happiness in life, something comes along and pulls the rug out from under me. I will give you the short version of my childhood. Mom had me at 19 out of wedlock, gave me up for adoption for 30 days, then came back and got me, informed my dad if he was not going to be a permanate fixture in my life then stay away, so he did. Then my grandmother forced her (by threats and stating because she was 19 no job, no money, no insurance and me needing kidney surgery) to sign over temp custody to her. She raised me and my cousin, she was vicious at times with the things she said and with me being the oldes and a girl, she took most of her physical abuse out on me, not to mention I took up for little cousin. I moved in w/ mom at 13, started thinking bout my dad, got into drugs, mom put me in a rehab, went and got dad told him I needed him. At first I was like a new toy to dad but then as time went on, i noticed that i was always second best to his other 2 kids, still is that way and im 30. Got into abusive relationship for 2 years, kicked him to the curb, met my husband, knew he had 1 child from previous marriage, got married at 19, had kid who was born 10 weeks early and almost died at 20, about 40k in medical bills w/ no insurance, fought for custody of hubby's son, whom I love as my own, went on for 4 years had to file bankruptcy due to the mounting legal bills, only got joint custody, then after we spent all that money and she had a free attorney, she signed him over. finally looked as if things were looking up, bought a house in 2002, then this past year all hell broke loose again! Stepson got caught w/ drugs (pot) in his room (he's 16) it broke my heart, son also got arrested for breaking someones window w/ a rock, have to pay 650 in restitution, owe taxes yet again and now here is the worst of it...
DH and I have been together for 12 years, married for 11. A month ago the sherrif knocks on the door w/ child support papers. WE figure its stepsons mother trying to pull something NOPE! As it turns out, a woman he was w/ 13 years ago is claiming her 12 year old son is his and he knew NOTHING about this child. Have to feel like white trash and go for paternity, find out she is white trash, 4 kids 3 different men, in jail for first degree arson (she litterally kicked in someones door poured gasoline and lit it on fire) also in drug rehab, her ex husband has her 2 girls and she has the youngest in the rehab w/ her the child in question is in SC w/ people who used to run the call girl service she used to work for, the kids last name is their last name and she used to be involved w/ their son. So now we are told by Child Support, that everything we have, and have worked so hard for we may lose because they can take up to 50% of his gross income! We will have to sell our house and who knows if we could even rent a place for less than our mortgage. I feel like my world is crumbling! I feel like God hates me, I feel like I have worked my entire life and never depending on anything just so women like this can get a welfare check. Now we may have to pay her $2000 a month, his gross is 4000 but he only brings home after deductions $2500 so she can continue to be a prostitute, drug addict and collect welfare. They wont even consider how we are supposed to support our two kids or consider them at all for that matter.
I need to talk to someone. I have been on an emotional roller coaster, one day ready to take on the world, the next day crying my eyes out. I have lost 25 pds in the last month due to not eating, I dont sleep and my doc has put me on xanex which I cant take because then I cant function. If anyone knows a good church where I could go I would appreciate it!
The blind leading the blind. 
Why is there no "Raise the Roof" smiley? 
