In laws and Retirement

[rdkarob]

What would you do????
My inlaws have 0 money saved for Retirement/longtermcare/life insurance. Well, my mother in law spends money like no tomorrow...(no they do not own their house, it is someone elses) Well for Christmas she wants to by "the first" grandchild a laptop (the others get a bunch of crap) I told her heck no! Save your money so we do not have to support you, please keep in mind my father in law is very very sick. I keep trying to tell my husband to do something about it, at least sit down and talk to them. It is causing big problems in my home because I DO NOT want to spend my next 10 years taking care of her because she buys 7500 john deer tractors, lap tops,and addicted to QVC!!!! My husband is not in that great of health either (lungs) he has sarcoidosis.....I am rambling I know but how do you stop someone from putting our future financial situation in jeopardy!

 

[Chasey_Lane]

If they don't have any money, how come they can afford to buy 7500 JD tractors?

 

[cattitude]

Why is it your problem?

 

[rdkarob]

If they don't have any money, how come they can afford to buy 7500 JD tractors?

She gets things on credit....I can only imagine how much the total is.

 

[rdkarob]

Why is it your problem?

Because I am married to her son and we would like to retire early, we have been saving and saving and now there is a possibility we wont be able to.

 

[cattitude]

Because I am married to her son and we would like to retire early, we have been saving and saving and now there is a possibility we wont be able to.

Why? Why is what your in-laws do with their money your problem?

 

[BadGirl]

how do you stop someone from putting our future financial situation in jeopardy!

Quite simple.....don't give them that power. They can only take advantage of you if you let them.

Don't give them any money, and make no promises that they can move in with you when they are unable to care for themselves, etc.

 

[kwillia]

Why? Why is what your in-laws do with their money your problem?

Because broke parents tend to become dependents of their children when their children love them too much to let them live on the street or without the care they eventually need.

 

[rdkarob]

Why? Why is what your in-laws do with their money your problem?

You dont get it at all.....my father in law is sick with Cancer, they do NOT have a savings do not have life insurance, do not have a dime except for his paycheck...Who do you think is going to help them...the state????Wrong, where will they live...with me....UGH!!! How would you like someone living with you that you could hardly stand. But hey, you can have her since you don't feel it is any of mine and my husbands business! lol

 

[vraiblonde]

Why is it your problem?

Because you can't just abandon them, anymore than you can abandon your own child who can't get their act together.

 

[Sharon]

Because broke parents tend to become dependents of their children when their children love them too much to let them live on the street or without the care they eventually need.

 

[rdkarob]

Because broke parents tend to become dependents of their children when their children love them too much to let them live on the street or without the care they eventually need.

Thanks Kwillia..you understand..!!!!! finally...someone understands where I am coming from. Even if it is a little savings it is a savings but they are so far in the red....and this has been told to us that if something happens to the father...we will have to help because she WILL not make it on her own financially!!!!

 

[Sharon]

You dont get it at all.....my father in law is sick with Cancer, they do NOT have a savings do not have life insurance, do not have a dime except for his paycheck...Who do you think is going to help them...the state????Wrong, where will they live...with me....UGH!!! How would you like someone living with you that you could hardly stand. But hey, you can have her since you don't feel it is any of mine and my husbands business! lol

How does your husband feel about all of this? Are you both in agreement?

 

[cattitude]

You dont get it at all.....my father in law is sick with Cancer, they do NOT have a savings do not have life insurance, do not have a dime except for his paycheck...Who do you think is going to help them...the state????Wrong, where will they live...with me....UGH!!! How would you like someone living with you that you could hardly stand. But hey, you can have her since you don't feel it is any of mine and my husbands business! lol

I never said it wasn't your business and I've been there, I understand perfectly.

But if they are putting themselves in the poor house there's nothing that you can do. And, yeah, if they have no home and no assets, they can get assistance from the state, especially if one is ill.

 

[Christy]

You dont get it at all.....my father in law is sick with Cancer, they do NOT have a savings do not have life insurance, do not have a dime except for his paycheck...Who do you think is going to help them...the state????Wrong, where will they live...with me....UGH!!! How would you like someone living with you that you could hardly stand. But hey, you can have her since you don't feel it is any of mine and my husbands business! lol

How old is he? If he's old enough for Social Security I'd butt out. Sadly, in this day and age, they are better off having little to no money put away or owning any property. If they're impoverished they will get much better medical assistance than if they weren't.

 

[rdkarob]

I am just venting and wondering how to handle this. This woman is in so much debt and keeps spending spending spending. She has no clue what she is doing to US financially...she says that if they die we do not have to pay their bills??? Is that true or isnt there some things about estates....Nope they have nothing but debt, who is responsible for this money owed?

 

[mAlice]

Thanks Kwillia..you understand..!!!!! finally...someone understands where I am coming from. Even if it is a little savings it is a savings but they are so far in the red....and this has been told to us that if something happens to the father...we will have to help because she WILL not make it on her own financially!!!!

If you and your husband don't take her in, she'll be remarried so fast it'll make your head spin.

 

[cattitude]

I am just venting and wondering how to handle this. This woman is in so much debt and keeps spending spending spending. She has no clue what she is doing to US financially...she says that if they die we do not have to pay their bills??? Is that true or isnt there some things about estates....Nope they have nothing but debt, who is responsible for this money owed?

Not you, unless you've cosigned for them.

 

[rdkarob]

How does your husband feel about all of this? Are you both in agreement?

Actually he says he agrees with me and is upset about it but he doesn't know what to do. It is causing major problems because he will not speak with them

 

[cattitude]

How old is he? If he's old enough for Social Security I'd butt out. Sadly, in this day and age, they are better off having little to no money put away or owning any property. If they're impoverished they will get much better medical assistance than if they weren't.

Exactly.